Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Deprive Yourself When It Counts!

The title of this post may sound contradictory to what I usually say, since I encourage splurges as acts of self-love. But another factor of loving yourself is knowing when not to have something unhealthy or fattening. I thought about this on my run in the park last week. Normally I like to run in the evening, after my work is done and before dinner. So I eat when I get home. But in the summer, I often get up early and run first thing in the morning, before it gets too hot, and before breakfast.


My trainer suggested I don’t eat first to encourage my body to burn off more of my excess fat. And I have enough to spare!  I do drink a lot of water before I leave, and a glass of powdered protein for some energy. Last week I ran for the first time this summer before breakfast. I wasn’t used to it and as I neared the end, I was very hungry. I began to think about the coffee carts I’d pass on the way home. They have a yummy danish that I love. Hmmmm… Why not get one as a reward for getting up early to run?

Yum! I began to salivate. I could have rationalized it as an act of self-love—a treat for running. But I refuted that by understanding that it could begin a bad habit of always getting one after a run. And I was running to burn calories, not replenish them with a sweet that I didn’t need first thing in the morning. So I made a different kind of loving decision—to go straight home and eat a healthy breakfast to get the most benefit out of my run. When I got home I felt happy that I’d made that decision.


Sometimes recognizing the better self-love act can be hard when a treat seems much more appetizing than skipping it.

But self-love isn’t all about giving yourself treats. For me, skipping a fattening treat was a bigger act of self-love. Doing something healthy is a gift of love for you. While I do advocate an occasional splurge—I just had an ice cream cone yesterday as the weather was so gorgeous and I wanted ice cream—you shouldn’t use self-love as an excuse to overindulge. I didn’t need a danish when I had a nice breakfast waiting for me at home. I’d had some sweets over the weekend and it was enough for the week so it was more loving to resist the urge for more.

Sweets are my weakness and I don’t want them to control me. And knowing me, stopping at the coffee cart could have become a habit whenever I run in the morning. I’m so happy I resisted. Cake gives me the short of pleasure of eating it. Resisting it leaves me feeling empowered all day! Choose your pleasure or choose to pass on your pleasure if it would be better for you. Taking control of yourself and cravings is extremely empowering!


Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

  • Cheryl

    You are so right about this. I have gotten into a terrible habit of eating a candy bar almost every night right before I go to bed. I had been telling myself that I earned the right to indulge myself because I have been working so hard on projects in my office. After reading your blog, however, I’m rethinking this “earned treat”. I have been bemoaning the additional belly bulge that started a couple of years ago and here I am adding to it. Thanks to you, I now realize I will be kinder to myself by NOT gaining another inch (which would really depress me). Thanks.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Glad it helped Cheryl!

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