When people ask me how I am, I usually give an enthusiastic “Great!” Even if something negative is on my mind, I still consider myself “Great!” While I might not feel well or something is on my mind that I don’t like, overall, my story is that my life is great. I consider your story the overall view you have of your life. What’s your story?
The bad news is that your story is all yours to do with what you choose. The good news is that your story is all yours to do with what you choose.
Perspective is all YOUR choice. People may try to influence you but it’s your choice to adopt it as truth. I choose to tell my story with the perception of having a great life. It helps me walk with confidence, smile in the face of adversity and feel content with life in general, no matter what else is going on. Some people see their story as a struggle to get through each day or living with bad luck or not good enough, You see them walk into a room, shoulders slumped, head drooping, looking like they haven’t had energy in years. The impression they make gives an overview of their story—sad and insecure.
People often create their story from their circumstances and their experiences. We all have good and bad ones. It’s YOUR choice to decide which tells yours. Almost every circumstance or situation can have a positive or negative spin. While I’m a recovering DoorMat, my story is about leaving DoorMatville and creating a successful, happy life. You can wallow in how hard it was to get to where you are or revel in taking control of your life, which is an empowering story. It’s up to you to spin it the way you want your story told. For example:
• Are you someone who has had many failed relationships or the happy person moving forward to meet healthy people? Thinking in terms of negative occurrences from the past, and I consider yesterday the past, gives you a story that makes you unhappy and can keep you stuck in attracting bad relationships.
• Are you the person who used to be very fat or the one who is powerful from taking control of your body. Looking back sadly reinforces a sad story. Looking forward to the continued joy of being healthy makes your story an inspiration.
• Are you the person who plods though a job you don’t like or someone who lives the rest of their time doing what they love? When I hated my job, I still tried to find things that were enjoyable about it.You can make your whole story unhappy or focus on the good stuff for a happy story.
• Are you a victim or an empowered person? If you see yourself not having choices, that victim story will rule you. But it doesn’t have to if you focus on how far you’ve come!
The good news is that changing how you see yourself can change your story. It can reflect your past, present or future, depending on how you see it. Focusing on past memories dampens your present story. Recalling all the years of pain you may have endured keeps your story as a negative narrative. That sure doesn’t feel good! When I was a DoorMat I thought I was fat and ugly so my story was about a fat an ugly girl who tried to make up for being that by keeping others happy. My story was also yearning to have a career and life I loved but never being able to get it. As I began to love myself more, my story also began to change.
Seeing yourself through the eyes of self-love instead of self-loathing or insecurity can motivate having a positive story.
People like being around people who see themselves in a positive light. And building a more positive story just requires that you change your thoughts about yourself. Telling a positive story through how you carry yourself means owning your great qualities with pride. The more I loved myself, the more I let go of my fat and ugly story and instead saw myself as sexy and beautiful. I didn’t need to lose an ounce to stop feeling fat. Seeing my body through the eyes of love made it curvy and wonderful! And instead of seeing myself as a wanna be writer, I made up business cards that said ”WRITER.” That led to my first writing credits and paid work.
Pay attention to what story you tell with your complaints, self-put downs, retelling of incidents from the past that made you unhappy, choosing to be what others said about you, etc. Find a way to put a positive spin on your life. Make your story a happy one—every day! That can help you take more control of what happens to you, attract positive people who like people with a happy story, and boost your confidence. If you feel far from living the life you want, think about the story you’re telling and how you can change it. Watch your thoughts. Take some action. You absolutely have the power to rewrite your story to one that makes you happy. That’s how I got out of DoorMatville!
Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself.
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