Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Today I have author Michael David Lawrience as my guest for day 4 of his Virtual Blog Tour for his book, Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain. It will be available on Amazon toward the end of May/beginning of June. Yesterday, Michael visited Katherine Owen at where he talked about chronic fatigue syndrome and how to heal chronic pain. Today he shares tips for stress relief for men and women. Keeping stress low is a great act of self-love! Here’s what Michael had to say:

Stress Relief Tips for Men and Women
By Michael David Lawrience

What is the connection between stress and disease? Research has shown that stress starts at a cellular level in the DNA. Our DNA holds the destructive energy of our unconscious beliefs and feelings. This energy creates stress, which decreases our energy flow and over time affects our emotional health, as well as our physical body with chronic disease. To learn more see The Healing Code by Loyd and Johnson.

What are the top stress management tips for women? Women when stressed tend to reach out to other women for emotional support and express their feelings. Women like to talk about their feelings and tell their stories, usually to other women. Here are some top stress management tips.

1. Develop a Support System – Review and keep in mind what best brings you stress relief so you know what to do when stress builds up.

2. Cultivate Positive Friendships – Have friends you trust and feel safe with. Look for people who can provide you with a positive perspective, who stay calm under pressure, and who have emotional balance.

3. Talk to Friends – Talk to your friends and other women about your stressful situations. Choose people who will keep what you tell them confidential.

4. Learn to Set Personal Boundaries and Say “No” – When we want to say “No” and we say “Yes” to our friends when they want us to do something, we create stress for ourselves. Codependents find it challenging to say “No” because they either remain unaware of what they want or fear saying “No” and being rejected. Saying “No” to be true to ourselves requires courage and practice. The only way to build up the strength to say “No” to take care of ourselves is by doing it repeatedly until it becomes easier.

5. Learn to Nurture and Self-Soothe – Begin to develop the ability to recognize and accept your need to look after yourself. Only when we re-energize ourselves can we truly nurture others from our overflow. Eat some of your favorite food, listen to calming or uplifting music, go for a walk in nature, read a book, take a hot bubble bath with Epsom salts added, or anything that nourishes you.

What are the top stress relief tips for men? Men when stressed tend to run away from their feelings, push them into their subconscious, or when pushed beyond their limits blow up in a rage. Men, in general, seek the company of other men in some activity like golf or watching a football game to escape their stress and get relief. Let us look at what I see as the top stress relief tips for men.

1. Exercising – As men we rid ourselves of stress through exercise. It increases our heart rate and blood flow, as well as adrenaline. Pumping iron at the gym, playing basketball, golfing, hiking, or jogging etc., whether with other men or by ourselves all help. Regular exercise remains the key to long-term stress relief and better health.

2. Hanging Out With the Guys – Team sports, like football, hockey, softball, or volleyball or even just watching sporting events assists us to escape and unwind from our stress. Being outdoors and golfing also help.

3. Spending Time Alone– When we distress it can also be in solitude like hiking or hobbies like photography or fishing. Most of my stress relief methods involve solitude. I know a seminar leader who after spending three intense days involved with teaching groups of people just wants to go home and be by himself for a while to unwind. This creates a challenge as he has a wife and five children and his wife after spending all her time with the children wants to engage her husband in conversation. So this man has found a solution by using the hour drive home to unwind in the car.

4. Building Relationships – For men, like women, it is important to build positive friendships. Then we have people, whether they are men or women who we can turn in times of stress because we trust and feel safe with them. I always felt happier when I had a least one close male friend that I could talk to about anything and help me deal with challenges.

5. Learning to Nurture Ourselves – Even as men we need to learn how to nurture and re-energize ourselves just as women do, even though if may be more of a challenge. We probably would not take a hot bubble bath, yet we can find hobbies which interest, energize, and distress us. Nurturing can also come from hanging out with the guys or some solitary pursuit like reading or listening to or playing music.
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Michael David Lawrience is giving away a FREE eBook with 50-pages of his book, The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain. It gives more ways improve your emotional health, ease pain, and heal physical and emotional abuse. You can also check back on his site to see when his book is available on Amazon.
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Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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