Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Since I’m focusing on learning to ask for what you need, here’s a practice I found helps me to ask. How does this relate to self-love? Asking for what you wants is an act of self-love. When you ask and get what you asked for, it makes you feel good, which fuels self-love. Even if you get turned down, it’s still making the effort for you to ask, so it’s loving!

Sometimes when I have to ask for something I really want to get, my confidence increases by creating a script of what I want to say. I don’t always use it verbatim but it prepares me for what exactly I want to say.

I’ve called people I didn’t expect to reach and actually reached them instead of an assistant. When asked what I wanted, I stumbled over my words, only then realizing I wasn’t prepared. Now I jot my thoughts down first so I can be as clear as I can. If it’s by phone, I keep the script in front of me. For in person I try to memorize the basics. Either way it’s helpful to put your thoughts on paper first. It can help you change how you ask for something after you see it in writing.

Write a few sentences that read like a sales pitch type for what you want to ask for.

Read it over and over. Then ask. Start with something easier and use each success to build confidence. Getting what you need is a loving act. Asking for it allows it to happen. So write down what you want to ask for and practice asking for it. Then say, “I love me” by doing the ask!
Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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