Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Say “Yes” to Spontaneity

It was 7:40 PM. I had to get up early that morning so I was very tired. My plan was to try to go to sleep at 10-ish. I was undressed and happily enjoying the quiet as I did some writing I’d been wanting to do, when the phone rang. It was my friend, telling me he was on his way to see the Broadway show Memphis, with 2 people I liked a lot but hadn’t seen in years. He’d just discovered they had an extra ticket to the show and he could leave it at the door for me.

My first thought was, “no way!” I was anxious to finish what I was writing and also to get to sleep early. Saying yes meant jumping up, throwing on clothes, and running out the door and power walking across town. Oh, and it was 20 degrees and the temps were falling so I’d been so happy to not have to go out. Hmmmmm… All these things weighed on me as my friend went on and on about what a great show it was. Tickets were probably in the hundred dollar range and I could go for free. So I took a deep breath and said yes!


Saying “yes” to a last minute invite can open your life up to joy and great opportunities.

Almost every time I’ve done something spontaneously, I was grateful after. Often we get into ruts or decide exactly how time will be spent. If an opportunity doesn’t fit into the picture we drew, we negate it. I’m guilty of that. I’ve been tired lately and sleep is a big priority. I have routines I do every day and am used to what I do. But when routines become ruts, it’s time to mix it up a little and do things you’d normally say “no” to.

Saying “yes” to opportunities you’d enjoy or benefit from also says “I love me!”

So I got dressed, ran out into the cold and hustled across town. The cold bit me but I continued. I arrived just over 10 minutes after the show began. The usher pointed out my seat but I waited till after a song ended and people were clapping to go in and stood there watching the show. I immediately started moving to the wonderful music. Then I quickly sat down and the show enveloped me with its spirit, fun and superb singing and dancing. I don’t think I stopped smiling from the minute I entered the theater till well after I left. I also enjoyed seeing my friends.


Being spontaneous opens wonderful doors if you let it by saying YES!

I walked home in the bitter cold feeling fabulous and didn’t feel the wind as I kept thanking me for going. I was a little more tired in the morning but felt energized despite that. I used to be very spontaneous but had lost that spirit. Going to see Memphis reminded me that I should cultivate it. I know that I will be much more likely to say “yes” in the future. Chores and routines can wait if you can do something out of your comfort zone or have more fun or try something new that you’ll want to do again.

Look for ways to be more spontaneous. If you’re doing chores and look out the window longingly at the sunshine, go for a long walk or call a friend to do something outdoors. If you have extra time off from work, see if there are last minute deals for a quick vacation. Everything you do will enrich your life in some way, whether you have fun or learn a lesson or get to know someone better or try something you want to do again.


Spontaneity loosens you up, so to speak, by making you more flexible about how you live.

Being flexible allows you to go with the flow of life more and that flow can take you to great places. It allows you to try new things and take more risks, since spontaneous actions can be a risk sometimes. Do something last minute, spur of the moment, that you’d normally say no to or make excuses for why you can’t. Leave the laundry for another time. Tape the TV show you planned to watch. Get out and have fun. Open up your life to new dimensions. I still smile as I think of my pleasure from going to see Memphis!

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

  • Stewart

    Daylle, great post. I like what you say about how going with the flow can take you to great places; it’s true, kind of like what John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” I sometimes ask myself, what are life’s plans? We all have plans, or most do, but what is life’s design for this day, this moment, and what is required of me to add the most creative part I can to benefit all concerned, including me? Cool that you got to see your old friends. We’re all in this together, and by connecting with people at the right times, it can be win-win-win for the people involved and for the divine power which creates the flow.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Thanks Stewart! It’s so true that life happens despite plans. Spontaneous actions can bring great surprises.

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank ...

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to ...

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks ...

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to ...

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when ...

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.