Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

“I Love Me” Tip: Buy a Brand Name Product

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for HowDoILoveMeCover.jpgI admit, I’m often economical. It’s how I was brought up and also works with my budget. In my DoorMat days I almost always bought the cheapest version of products. It seemed the logical thing to do. Yet I remember visiting a friend occasionally for the weekend. She always had delicious jam for breakfast. Mine was okay, from a discount store. But I loved visiting her because she had goodies I never splurged on.


One day I mentioned to another friend how much I loved the jam and she asked why I didn’t buy it myself. Oh no! it cost more money. My store brand jam was just fine I rationalized. But I thought about it later on, when I’d begun to love myself. Hmmm, didn’t I deserve that jam to have at home? Yes! I did! I actually had palpations thinking about actually spending the money to buy the nicer jam. They had it at a local farmer’s market. But one day I walked down and bought a jar.

The jam was more expensive. I’d always been focused on price and bought the less expensive product, even if I didn’t like it as much. I thought about this when people wrote me that they couldn’t take the pledge to do my 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge because they couldn’t afford it. They felt like their budgets couldn’t handle giving themselves all that love. I used to think that too, until I did the math.


Self-love doesn’t require spending a lot of money. It does mean you consider yourself worth a few more dollars for better products.

Yes, when I did the math I realized that the very yummy jar of fresh jam was only a few dollars more than the one I normally bought. In the past I automatically rejected the higher priced products. Now I know I’m worth the good stuff. And 3 or 4 dollars extra occasionally won’t break the bank! I only eat jam on the weekend so it lasts a while.

The very special bonus is that buying the better product, whether it’s jam or coffee or lotion or a warmer hat or whatever makes you feel good every time you use it so the love continues beyond the initial purchase. Every time I eat the jam, I feel happy.


Think about a product that you buy the cheap version of but know that you’d enjoy the better one more. Buy the better brand!

I remember the first time I bought a non-generic face cream. It smelled nice and felt divine to apply. A friend was visiting when I put it on my face. He laughed when he said I didn’t just put it on, I lovingly applied it. True! Using it made me feel so good, which made me feel more worthy and increased my self-love. For $20 I got a whole lot of love that lasted for months, every day when I put it on.

Find your splurge–a product that says, “I love me!’ and enjoy it! Each time you eat, drink or use it, affirm, “I bought this because I love me!”

Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

  • Linda

    You are so right about this! I have tried to pass this on to my daughters, too, because the confidence and loving feeling you get is worth every penny of the item and it doesn’t have to be anything ridiculously extravagant, just something that pleases you.

  • Michael

    I agree completely, every once in a while I may buy a more expensive bottle of wine, just because, well, to be honest, I deserve it, or maybe a nice arragement of flowers, it just lifts my spirits, and when my spirits are lifted I like to lift others as well.

  • Ruth

    I am guilty of this too. It’s so nice to see I wasn’t alone. When I would buy gifts, I bought very nice gifts, and saved on me.
    Years and years of always saving on me got me to feel that I wasn’t ‘worth’ it. I am worth it, but I buy those lovelies at a high end discount store. I get the name brand I want a a fraction of the cost. (love TJ Maxx).
    I bought a beautiful purse on New Years Day, Dooney & Bourke, beautiful, marked down and 50% more off and not an ugly purse, a beautiful purse. You CAN have wonderful things.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    You’re so right Linda! It doesn’t have to be extravagant to get yourself something that feels better. Glad you’re teaching this to your daughters.
    Great examples of why this is so important Michael!
    That’s how most of us are Ruth–spend more on others so they like us and skimp on ourselves. Time to change that dynamic!

  • Michael @ The Successful Man

    The key is to believe in your own worthiness. Too many people believe that they themselves are not worth it.
    The fact is that you are worth it. We can live our lives at just the okay level, however that doesn’t bring much satisfaction. If the product has value, buy it for yourself. You are definitely worth it.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    So true Michael! We’re all worth it!

  • Babs

    Are you not special to yourself? I feel that I should splurge once in a while we only live ONCE.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    When you love yourself you feel that way Babs. But if you don’t, you splurge more on others. But splurging on yourself builds self-love.


    Very nice!!

  • Carol

    Mine was laundry. Yep, laundry. My actions all began when I started reading these lessons. Until last week, I always washed every ones piles first and mine last leaving me to hunt for whatever was clean for myself until I got to my piles. Now, guess what? They have learned to do their own laundry really quickly, and I have mine ready for the my next love me lesson.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Thanks Stephen!
    Good for you Carol!

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