Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


How Do I Love Me? Here Are Some Ways

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for HowDoILoveMeCover.jpgToday is Day 27 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.

As Self-Love Month comes to a close, I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show themselves love, to give you more ideas that you can use for yourself. I’m delighted to have some wonderful suggestions to share with you. By pampering your mind, body and spirit, you can build strong self-love, which is a magnet for loving things and people into your world. Here’s what they had to say:

I give myself little mini vacations, like spending the day in a good bookstore or going to the movies or going to the circus. I don’t have to interact with anyone and can just be alone to enjoy the event or activity.John Wilder marriage, relationship and sexual coach, Resident expert on the sites: yahooanswers.com and advice.lovedetour.com

When life gets overwhelming, I clear an afternoon and either go get a mani/pedi or do one for myself at home. It sounds so simple, but by taking an hour out of my busy schedule and devoting that time to me makes me feel beautiful and helps me to feel rejuvenated. For an extra pick-me-up I’ll clear an entire Sunday afternoon, unplug and browse the library or local bookstore to my hearts content. By taking this time, I’m a better wife, mother, employee and friend.” ??Shelley Oswald, http://www.slightly-off-kilter.com

In an attempt to what others have tried to do (love me), I took on the challenge of loving myself. By investing time, energy, and sweat into changing my lifestyle and daily habits, I am loving myself like no one else has ever been able to do. I have completely transformed my life and the lives of others by getting healthy.” ?? Mikel C. Brabham, www.leadersbyexample.org ??

I list all the ways I want a romantic partner to treat me and then do it myself. I also make a list of what I do for my romantic partner. Then I do them. This makes me more loving to myself and to others. ? I compliment myself in the terms I’d like to hear. When I’m alone, I say them out loud and accept them. This done on a frequent basis, especially on a tough day, makes me feel really good about who I am. I also write myself a love letter in what I appreciate in myself (recognizing that these are gifts that I am grateful to have). This felt silly and difficult (would I become conceited?) but acknowledging my gifts seems to allow me to be more loving outwards to others.” Joann Cohen

I show love for myself by looking in the mirror every day and being with myself for a few precious moments. I smile, look deep into my own eyes and tell myself, “I love you.” Or, “You’re doing great.” Or something positive, inspiring and uplifting. And then I say, “Thank you.” I nod my head, smile once again and go on with my day. It’s so beautiful. It puts me in a great mood and sets my day up to go fantastically.” Darshan G. Shanti,?? www.the24hourchampion.com

Showing my self more love has been the catalyst in making my life exponentially better. I decided to follow my dream of being a filmmaker and professional artist about a year and a half ago. I take at least a half hour coffee break alone at least once per day and have stopped apologizing for it. I also meditate for about 15 minutes a day and eat at least one mindful meal (a kind of meditation, actually).” ??Arash Afshar

I see clients Monday thru Wednesday, and write the rest of the week, but every Thursday, I have a date with myself. After I do my morning e-mail, and then get the laundry ready for the housekeeper, I go to the gym for a 40 minute swim in the pool (which I love) shower and change there, and then take myself out to my favorite Restaurant.  I have the same favorite healthy lunch, relax and read.  I love my work, and feel blessed to do it, and it’s very people- intensive, so this break from my in-home office, husband, dogs, clients and everyone refreshes me every time.  I am a great date for myself, and really feel this time with me is special.Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”) psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage

1. I always hated exercising but I found a way to really love it while loving myself in the process. Now, whenever I am on the treadmill or stationary bike, I give thanks to the Creator for the wonderful creation of my body She/He gave me. I go from head to toe, inside and out, giving thanks every body part and now I LOVE to exercise! ??2. I am clear about my mission, which is to help people get along better with the important people in their lives, and I say yes to those things that support my mission and no to those things that don’t. That feels good to me.?? 3. Whenever I am feeling sorry for myself, I recognize what I am doing and turn instead to helping someone I think could use my help or turning my thoughts to all the things for which I am grateful. It really works to bring me out of a funk and that is one of the loving things I can do for myself.Kim Olver, coach, speaker

I bought myself a massage for Valentines Day to show love for myself; Invested in private yoga sessions and regularly massages to commit to myself and love myself; Regular manicures and pedicures to have a constant reminder (whenever I look at my fingers while typing or toes while doing yoga) that I am pretty and take care of myself :) Stephanie Mansour, CEO of Step It Up with Steph

My absolute favourite thing to do on a Sunday is to sleep in, stay in my PJ’s all day long and read a really great book. I take a nice hot bath mid-way through the day, and get into a new pair of PJ’s! Bottom line is I make the day all about luxuriating in the day. ;) ” Susanne Susanne Alexander-Heaton?, CEO, Motivated by Nature

I started about six years ago really consciously ‘loving myself’ and it has really made a hugely powerful difference in my life. Showing myself love may just be going for a walk in the sunshine (or rain), taking a trip the sauna, making a cup of tea and settling down with a good book or putting a good song on and dancing for a few minutes, essentially letting time stand still. I have found that mindfully taking time to do an activity I enjoy without worrying about what’s for dinner or whether I have answered all my emails is very powerful.Joanna Runciman, Certified Life /Wellness Coach

Ok – I wrote it and I sing it. But sometimes I still need to listen – I mean really listen – to the lyrics of my song “Lighten Up”. Reminds me that I don’t need to take life so seriously – that the best thing I can do for myself is just “Lighten Up”. Always makes my world a bit better.” Karen Taylor-Good, Grammy nominated singer/songwriter, author and speaker

I fill the tub with warm water and add a cup or 2 of epsom salts and bath oil. For music, I play something soothing and uplifting, like Enya. I light a candle, sit back and also sip tea or something fun, like fig juice or Martinelli’s sparking cider. And some raw, healthy chocolate for an extra boost.Valerie Bennis, Essence of Vali?

Each payday I treat myself to a bag of Twizzlers and a #1 with cheese cut in half from Burger King.Derrick Hayes

When my only child left for college I just assumed I would increase my work hours to full-time. Instead, I realized that I no longer wanted to be doing laundry or bills at 10 pm, and made a conscience decision to not let that happen any longer in my life; I had worked since I was 12 years old and in my 50s it was time to give myself a break.  It continues to make me happy!” ??– Sharon Gilchrest ONeill, ?Marriage & Family Psychotherapist /Author?

After years of self-loathing, I finally bit the bullet and started doing yoga. It took me approximately 3 years to get to the point where I was ready to start doing something like yoga which required a lot of concentration on the inner self. Today as I enter my 44th year of life, I have never felt so much more connected- mind, body and soul. It has been cathartic for me and has helped me love myself more. I can now share it with my children in hoping to give them a better chance at learning to love themselves earlier in life and avoid the “void” of not knowing who they are.??” Helen Georgaklis ??Founder- CEO ??99 Book Series Inc.

As the old saying goes, ‘while easterners meditate, westerners like to medicate.’ So, a few years ago, I began meditating. Today, my thirty minutes to an hour of morning meditation is just as crucial to me as eating, exercising, even going to work.  In fact, I would miss a meal or a workout before I would miss entering into that blissful world of silence!  And while I’m in that world, rejuvenating my soul, and touching the Source of all.  It’s been nothing short of transformational, the most sublime gift off love I have ever given myself.” Dr. Steve McSwain, interfaith speaker, teacher, and author of The Enoch Factor: The Sacred Art of Knowing God.

I only purchase items that I absolutely love and that make me feel good. I give myself small treats everyday. For example I will attend a yoga class, listen to my favorite song or take a hot bath. My favorite way to express self-love is to write in my gratitude journal. I do this every day. It allows me to see how truly great my life is.Elle Swan, Life Coach

Self-love for me is balancing giving to myself with giving to others. ?What I do is allow myself the peace of being in silence and doing nothing.? Much is created as a result of this…Laying outside on the beach basking in the sun while reading a good? book or under the warm covers on a cold day.? Really, anything that brings me into communion with my own energy, for in ?that, I am extending love to myself, creating the balance we all so deeply? need.Gabriella Hartwell, ?Intuitive Relationship Life Coach, Spiritual Mentor and author of You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching

Meditation is the art of falling love. It is also training for unconditional love. When you’re deeply present with all of life’s experiences and all of your emotions and thoughts without resistance, you are learning how to become friends with yourself.”  ?Tom Von Deck, International Workplace Meditation Trainer

After my 2 and 4 year old are asleep at night, I steal away to my sanctuary–a guest room in my house purposefully kept free of children’s toys, pet hair and clutter, the one and only pristine room in my home. The minute I walk in I feel peaceful and delighted and my life seems less hectic and more organized. I light candles so the lighting is really pretty, turn on my favorite chanting CD ” and I drink mango passion fruit hot tea. I may write in my journal, read a book or meditate. What usually happens is that I am lulled by the angelic music and I drift off, my breathing slows and when I become alert again, I feel as if I am once again one with my soul and it feels as if there is enough of everything. Enough beauty, enough love, enough time, enough breath. I am home again.Amy St. Hilaire, Ma, Lmft ??The Center For Integrative Therapy, LLC

Try some of these tips to say “I love Me!” The better you feel from showing yourself love, the stronger your self-love will become!

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



  • http://www.learning-self-love.com Heather

    There are two things I’ve done this month to increase my self-love. The first was a starting a Love Journal – where I record my daily experiences of love, both given and recieved to both myself and others.
    The second was more personal. I’ve been refusing to engage with fearful thoughts. If I find my mind wandering to something that makes me anxious I will say, (sometimes outloud) “Stop it, you’re not going to torture yourself with what-if’s. You deserve better!”

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Fantastic suggestions Heather!

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