Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Begin the New Year with Self-Love!

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for HowDoILoveMeCover.jpgHappy New Year! I hope your entry into 2011 was a good one! I was home, doing the spiritual work I love to do at the end of each year, nurturing the love I have for me. After being a DoorMat for a majority of my life, it was a long, often tough journey into self to reach the loving place I’m blessed to be in today. That’s why I’m heeding my calling to give back for the blessing of loving myself, why I launched my Self-Love initiative.


I’m so excited to begin Self-Love Month! January is a whole month to focus on being kinder to yourself! Of course this doesn’t mean it ends on February 1st. I hope to get you into the habit of being loving and kind to yourself every day. That’s what this month is for–building self-love. The more kind things you do for you the better you’ll feel. The better you feel the more you’ll feel good about you. The more you feel good about you, the more you’ll want to do loving things. It’s a synergy that nourishes your soul.

Every little loving thing you do is a brick in the foundation of self-love. Enjoy the journey to falling in love with yourself!


Today is the beginning of my 31 Days of Self-Love Marathon of posts here on Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat. I intend to post at least once a day, to give you tons of ways to find your path to your own self-love. We all have different issues and roadblocks so there will be a variety of directions to building self-love addressed. I have some great guests lined up too.

Consider this your ammo for fighting self-love busters so true love can guide you to a happy life.

No matter how old you are, it’s never too late! No matter how low you feel about you, it’s never too late!  No matter how many people have made you feel like you don’t deserve to love yourself, it’s never too late! People told me it was too late for me when I began my journey out of DoorMatville, determined to create a life I loved, and to love me. Not long before that I literally thought I was fat and ugly and unworthy of anything except being someone people could wipe their feet on.


If you’d told me back then that I’d eventually love myself deeply, totally accept me exactly as I am, cellulite, unruly hair and all, I’d have laughed at the absurdity of it.

But I found my way through the darkness of self-loathing and low self-esteem to reinvent myself into a bestselling author and self-empowerment counselor who now helps others build self-love and a life they love. IF I COULD DO IT, ANYONE CAN!! And now I want to help as many people as possible find the blessing of their own self-love to be as happy as I am. Happy wasn’t in my vocabulary when I was a DoorMat, except to help others feel it. Now I wake up smiling, in love with myself, every day!

I heard J.K Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, say that there’s nothing more powerful than love. She referenced 9/11 and how many people who knew they were going to die had to call people to say they loved them. It was very important to them in that horrible crisis. And their loved ones cherished those words. Real love does make people feel good. When you love yourself, you have the power to give yourself this nurturing commodity whenever you choose. That’s very powerful when you think about it.


•    You have the power to beat yourself up for a mistake or to be forgiving.
•    You have the power to take nasty things that people say personally or to refuse to give their words credence.
•    You have the power to stay in an unhappy relationship because you’re scared of being alone or to walk away because you deserve better.
•    You have the power to be a DoorMat and ignore your own needs or to set boundaries so that your needs are met.

Etc! Self-love helps you go for the latter choices–the ones that are in your own best interests. I’ll post things you can do to be kind to you all month. Plus, download my free book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, and learn more techniques for breaking those darn old habits that keep you stuck. When you sign my pledge to give yourself 31 Days of Self-Love, you’ve taken a big loving step toward self-love. Post what you do to show yourself love HERE.


Give yourself the greatest gift you can give yourself for the New Year–yourself, happy and loved.

I want to raise your consciousness for the New Year, and keep it going. Self-love begins and ends with YOU. YOU have the power to build it. YOU have the power to kill it. I’ll show you ways to build it. It’s YOUR choice to feel good about you and accept yourself as you are, not your romantic partner’s or your mom’s or a critical friend’s, etc. YOUR choice. Use the tools in my book and even more here on my blog to give yourself the happy life you deserve, using self-love as the fuel. Please spread the word for people to read my 31 Days of Self-Love Marathon of posts here on Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat.

Let’s spread the love for 2011!

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

  • Ashley Gurule

    I am verry excited to Love me. I always have loved myself but never take the time to do thing just for me. I am very thankful for having the chance to benifit from all of this!!!!!!

  • Karen

    I love myself but always let everyone walk on me. Today is the 1st day to say “I love me and I’m worth it” Thank you.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Glad you’re ready to love you Ashley! I’m thrilled you took the pledge.
    Good for you Karen!

  • Malena

    looking forward to being my New Year with loving myself first. I may still be a doormat for putting family and others first before me.

  • Naya

    It is “Love Myself Time” ! I have wasted a lot of my life giving so much of me away to undeservent people. It is time for refueling, rejuvenating, reestablishing and redirecting the love I have to give back to myself. Today is day 1, I commit to loving me 1st.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    One step at a time Malena! You can support everyone and make yourself important too!

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Good for you Naya!

  • http://Today wanda

    Today I promise to Love Myself. I will not put anyone before me. I am good, lovable and worthwhile. I deserve the best of everything. I will never hurt myself

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Amen Wanda!

  • June

    I feel blessed to have found this site this morning!
    I’ve never thought of loving myself. How could I miss something so important? I want to stay connected to your site.
    June Coers

  • AM

    This was a divine appointment for me to find this site. I am looking forward to learning how to love myself. Thanks for your assistance.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    I’m glad that you found my site and hope it motivates and guides you to build self-love.

  • bacha

    I want find the way how change my live and stop people take advantage of me. Thank you for your teachings

  • Gayle Hodges

    I would like nothing more than to love myself and stop being a doormat to others, but I have been so for 60 years. And in the past few years I have learned to dislike myself a whole lot more. Do you really think there is hope for me. Since 9/11 I have lost everything I had worked my whole life for. Now I can’t even find a job. I am a 60 year of barista. Work I have never done and it is extremely hard on an old woman. I was always an administrative assistant, bookkeeper, or my last job before this one was a dispatcher which I really did enjoy. But all of my jobs required sitting not standing . Each day I come home very disgusted with myself that I allowed myself to get to this point, knowing that I probably will not make it through backache and foot aches. How can I love something so pathetic?

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Gail, I was also like you for many years and turned it around. You must begin by losing that mindset of being pathetic. You’ve been a victim of circumstances but can change it around if you CHOOSE to. Download my free self-love book at It’s NEVER too late!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment shirley

    Would like to know can these books be purchased instead of downloaded

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Lisa

    I don’t know that I have ever liked or loved myself. I want to learn to do so. I have a 3 yr old daughter who watches and mimics everything I do and I don’t want her to live with this misery as I have all my life. I am so disgusted with where my life is now. I don’t feel as if I am worth it.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Gina

    I have lost all my love for myself and became a doormat. Iam so Depressed. That’s all I can write, I can’t even think….There did this low self esteem come from. I think Iam no good. Help!!!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Lisa and Gina, I highly recommend you download my FREE self-love book. You m must start somewhere and this book has many suggestions. I used to feel the way you do and I was able to build strong self-love. You can too!

  • Pingback: How Do I Love Me? Here Are Some Ways - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Mary Monconduit

    I was just looking on the web serching for ways to make changes in my life, and i came across your web site. and i realize that’s it. start with the coming new year2012 by loving my self first, taking pride in the way i look when im out.


  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    I wish you lots of love Mary! keep reading my posts for more insight.

  • Pingback: Cyma’s Picks: How Do I Love Me? The 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge by Daylle Deanna Schwartz | Mothering in the Middle

  • Lisa

    They say you cannot go anywhere from the bottom but up. I hope that’s true. Because, I was on another site that said to list 50 things I love about myself. I came up with a great list of 25 things I hate about myself before I became tired. I can’t think of anything to love about me, at this point. The ONLY thing that might even be considered is kindness, but I see it as a weakness. It’s why I am a doormat and useless. Because of being “too nice” .

  • low self esteem symptoms

    Self love is the best love. You don’t want to be at the mercy of others to feel loved. If you love yourself, it’s easier for people to love you.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    So true!

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