Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


I Love Me! Tip: Splurge on Something Small But Special

goblet.jpgDo you spend more money on others than on you? That keeps self-esteem from blossoming. For my book How Do I Love Me? Let Me count the Ways, I asked people how they showed themselves love. I was enchanted by Charlotte’s story. She said that when she first arrived in New York City, she had a fantasy from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s and wanted to buy something from that very expensive store. Charlotte put a few dollars into a can when she could so she could shop at her dream store.

She couldn’t save a lot but eventually had enough to buy one gorgeous crystal goblet from Tiffany’s. She took her time making the purchase, savoring every second of shopping in the store of her dreams. Most people would save an expensive glass like that for special occasions, or just put it on a shelf to look at it. Not Charlotte! She used it every day. Charlotte said that drinking orange juice from this glass made her feel special. It was a daily reminder that she had splurged on something she wanted.

Years and many promotions later, she bought a whole set of Tiffany glasses. But, she says, nothing was as special as that first glass, which she still has.

I related. When I was in Germany, I bought one very good lead-crystal beer stein. I use it every day for my water and keep it by my bed at night. I’ve been questioned about using such a good glass so casually. Why not?! I love me and deserve to drink from a glass I love! I greatly enjoy using it every day instead of saving it for a special time like some people do with good china and wearing good jewelry.

If you have it and love it, use it! Whatever it is for you, every day can be a special occasion if you choose to make it so.

Find your own small but wonderful thing and buy it. While Charlotte and I spent more money than most would on every day glasses, they didn’t cost a fortune. Think about what you’d enjoy having. It may not make sense to others but that doesn’t matter if you’d enjoy using in your own way. Get it! Use it! Let it be a reminder that you deserve love. My lead-crystal beer stein reminds me every day how much I love me!

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  • Brenda

    40 years ago I bought my mother service for 8 china dishes. She never owned “good” dishes & although she was pleased, she displayed them more than she used them. When she died and the dishes were given to me, I decided that I would enjoy using these dishes every day. Why
    find pleasure in sharing only with infrequent dinner guests? Every day, starting even with a bowl of cereal, not only do I think of my late mother but I think about how I enjoy this dining pleasure and gift to myself!
    PS: Even with takeout transferred to the china, what an uplifting
    ritual.

  • Michelle

    This is a great idea. I spoiled myself over the weekend and for the first time in 49 years, I don’t feel guily about it. Got a great massage, hair trim, and fun night on the down with my girls. Spent money I shouldn’t have, but wanted to so I did. I did it for me! I love me!

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Great ritual Brenda! That’s exactly what I was talking about.
    Good for you Michelle! You deserve it! Keep on giving yourself love. : )

  • Lilia

    I am still trying to figure myself out. After being in a controlling, possessive relationship for many years, I have lost myself. I want to love myself but find it hard to find who I really am or what I really like or what would make me happy. Any suggestions in how I can find self love?

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    There are dozens of post on this blog about loving yourself. Read through them. When my book is ready, it will be given away for free and you can read more specifics in one place.

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