Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Law of Attraction in Action: Running from Problems

This is post 79 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

A woman I’ll call Tara came to me years ago. She was unhappy. As we spoke, I could feel her struggling to act cheerful when she clearly didn’t feel that way. Tara was unnerved at getting older and didn’t like the work she did but couldn’t figure out what she did want to do. She lived in NYC and said she was done with it. I told her the problem wasn’t NYC but that she was unhappy inside, which reflected in everything she did.

Discontent attracts more discontent!

Tara refused to see that. She sublet her apartment and moved far away in search of happiness. Sadly, she didn’t find it and came running back to NY after 3 months, saying she missed it. Tara tried to make it work for the next year but left for another city when her unhappiness got too much for her. This became a pattern she couldn’t break. She’d move to another city, convince herself this was the solution for her unhappiness, talk about how great it was, and then return to NY even more disillusioned that she couldn’t find what she wanted.

You can run but can’t hide from your inner issues. They go with you wherever you go!

People often think that a new location will fix what’s wrong with their lives but that rarely works. When you’re not happy, fixing what’s blocking happiness is an inside job. Tara wasn’t happy with herself. Her self-loathing was evident to me, which also meant it was evident to the Universe. The more she tried to run away from her unhappiness, the more unhappy she became. She did everything she could to change her life on the outside, but could not look at herself and see where the problem originated from.

A new location doesn’t change who you are or what you feel about yourself. Nor does it erase problems. Only YOU can do that!

Each time Tara moved, she brought more than just physical baggage with her. All her issues went with her too. She’d revel in starting over in a new city for a little while. It was fun. But after she settled in, her inner unhappiness reared its head and life didn’t feel good anymore. Moving to a new city far from home can be a tough adjustment even when you feel good. But when you don’t love yourself and your inner thoughts and feelings are in turmoil, moving can lead to even more issues.

External efforts don’t heal inner wounds. And there’s little positive stuff that you can send for the Law of Attraction to work with if your inner emotions are negative.

When I was a DoorMat, I looked to others for fulfillment and happiness. I had to have a man to complete me. Being alone to do anything was out of the question. I looked for every external way to soothe the hurt I felt inside but only attracted more hurt. It took many years of unhappiness to finally accept that I had to work on me, and develop my self-esteem from the inside out. Learning to truly love myself was the answer! The more I loved me and my self-esteem grew, the bigger the vehicle I had to leave DoorMatville on.

Inner healing and love attracts peace with yourself. The best part of it is that everyone can have it and it doesn’t cost anything—except for shedding negative baggage.

I kept telling this to Tara but her strong denials made her deaf and blind to reality. She bought herself more clothes. Took a trip, but returned with the same baggage she’d always had, except that it increased since it attracted more in her journey. If you’re unhappy and looking to see what you can change in your life, look inward. Ask:

• Do I love myself?
• Can I accept me exactly the way I am right now?
• Am I WILLING to look inside and work on healing inner wounds?
• Am I WILLING to work on loving and accepting myself?

Be honest about your answers! Denial can skewer your perspective. Everyone can use more self-love. I like having as much as I can. I’ve had many posts on how to show yourself more love and will continue to post on this very important topic. Please be more conscious about doing loving things for you. Self-kindness helps to heal. Sometimes you might need therapy with a professional.

Taking steps to become a whole person who accepts him/herself as you are lightens the baggage you carry with you.

Negative baggage attracts negative circumstances, no matter what you do on the outside or where you move to. If you want to be happy, make an effort to face the feelings you may try to stifle or run away from. As you do, you’ll get closer to a place that makes you happy no matter where you are. Then the Law of Attraction can support your happiness!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button var addthis_pub = ‘wryter’;



  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03056340822606068218 Mystic Musings & Meditations

    Daylle, once again you nailed it on this post. I can't tell you how many times I've pondered moving out of the NY area thinking I might save money and live an easier life. But, what you say is true – we cannot run from problems be it emotional, or financial. We have to find a way to deal with them wherever we are. P.S. I'm glad I stayed even if it might be a struggle at times. It's my home and where all the people I love are.

  • Maxx

    So true! My girlfriend keeps trying to change jobs and move to a new apartment but won't work on what really makes her unhappy–herself! She dwells on her childhood bad memories and wonders why she's not happy. Yet she does exactly what you said. I don't know how long I can hang in with her if she keeps running away from what really hurts her.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01445486103480238038 Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Thanks for you kind words Angela! It's so true. If you love where you live for the right reasons, it's best to stay put and work out the rest.You're right that you may have to end it Maxx. It's not good to be with someone who has negative issues and won't do anything about them.

Previous Posts

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not

posted 12:01:08pm Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Are You a Needy People Magnet?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did when I was a DoorMat. These needy folks would bring me down with their dem

posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Overcoming Obstacles--interview with Jenn London
Beautiful Sorrow  is a true-life story memoir written by Jenn London, a talented singer/songwriter and a self-love ambassaador for The Self-Love Movement™. She’s overcome a multitude of sorrowful parts of her life, from  childhood obesity to immense family tragedy. Her optimism, determination

posted 12:01:39pm Apr. 10, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.