Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

No More Long Term Disappointment!

My last post for my Law of Attraction in Action series discussed disappointment and what we can attract when we feel it. I heard from a lot of people and wanted to add a few points to the topic.


Disappointment is a negative emotion that doesn’t feel good.

Negative emotions can hurt your health while positive ones enhance it. It’s your CHOICE to feel long term negative ones. It’s normal to feel disappointment when things don’t go your way. I don’t advocate just pushing it away when something you were hoping for or expecting doesn’t come through. That’s not healthy either! Work though it and then move on:

Acknowledge your disappointment. Think about what happened, how you feel and why it feels so bad. Write down what it means to you if necessary to work through your feelings. It’s okay to feel disappointed and have that lead to sadness. Fighting it keeps it alive. But it’s also important to keep it in perspective!


Talk it over with a friend. Someone sympathetic and positive can help you work through your feelings. Express how you feel and why. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you helps you let your sadness go.

Don’t share your feelings with someone negative or who likes to dwell on them! They’ll just rehash your pain instead of encouraging you to look ahead to better things. Negative types can make you feel worse. Be selective about who you turn to.

Allow your sadness to surface and grieve. Have a cry. It’s okay to feel down for a day or two as what happened sinks in. It’s when it becomes entrenched in your mood that it will be a problem. Soothe yourself with thoughts of other things in your life that are good.


Ask yourself if you prefer to feel positive or negative. So simple! It’s your choice to feel bad or move on and find things to feel good about. When I feel like that, I clean, to take back control. I always feel better! Recite your blessings. Find what triggers you to snap out of a bad mood and use it.

Accept that things happen for a reason and move on. When your faith is real, you can trust it will all work out for your highest good. Trying this and seeing it works is the best medicine for overcoming disappointment. Finding the reasons for what happened however far down the road is super empowering!

After my last post I heard from Brenda, who told me a story that I asked if I could share. She went to parochial grade school. When they felt disappointed, one of the nuns told the students not to be and not to think God wasn’t answering their prayers. Brenda still remembers the nun saying:


“God did answer your prayer. He said NO because he knew it wasn’t for our well being at that time…”

As the Rolling Stones said, “You can’t always get what you want.” And that’s okay. Not getting what you want helps you appreciate when you do. Acceptance is a key to moving past disappointment. Even for big things, God has a plan, even if it’s not the one you so desperately wanted. When you can accept that, it’s easier to let go of disappointment and leave more room for being happy!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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  • Pat Miran

    You're right, I hold onto disappointment much too and for too long. I wallow in it and feel lousy. I will follow your suggestions and try to change how I handle it.

  • Maxx

    Disappointment does not mean over or bad. I learned that a long time ago. God knows better about what's good for me. It's imperative to accept that, and thus, accept disappointment as part of the path to getting what you need.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Glad it helped Pat!Good points Maxx!

  • mattina

    What a wonderful blog. I just stumbled upon it as I was searching on-line for ideas on getting over disappointment. Long story short – I just got married in Sept (actually a few days before this post). I was 37 on my wedding so you can imagine the expectations I had. Throughout the process I kept telling myself to embrace the imperfections because you so often hear that weddings don't go as planned and I desperately wanted to be the bride to look passed the unexpected. I am typically the person that can find the positive in ANY situation and as people say something negative, I am always the one to point out the good. We just rec'd our wedding album from our photographer today and again, I am disappointed. I just want to cry and that is so not my personality. I just can't seem to get over some of my disappointment. I am married to the most wonderful christian man and that of course is the positive. We did have an amazing ceremony and again such a positive. I am just so hurt about the day's events (so long that I won't go into detail) from having an aweful morning getting ready, to flowers the wrong color, my husbands gift not getting to him when scheduled therefore no photo and then someone lost it (all because the plan wasn't followed), so many missing photos, wedding planner taking direction from BM and therefore nothing was set up properly for our brunch reception. I have tried to confront but have yet to receive a sincere apology – just passing the blame. Though an apology would provide closure (I think), I know I can't depend on it. Any other suggestions on just moving forward? When people mention our wedding I want to have happy thoughts. I am desperately seeking what God was and is trying to teach me. Gosh, this sure was much longer than was intended.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Mattina, that the past, just things! You have a great husband and that's what matters most. Maybe God is trying to teach you what's most important, not the trappings but a good man. If you focus on looking forward, you can put the wedding behind you and enjoy your life. I fully understand why you were disappointed but it's over. You have a wonderful life ahead of you. if you ask God for support in moving forward you'll get it.

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