Disappointment is a negative emotion that doesn’t feel good.
Negative emotions can hurt your health while positive ones enhance it. It’s your CHOICE to feel long term negative ones. It’s normal to feel disappointment when things don’t go your way. I don’t advocate just pushing it away when something you were hoping for or expecting doesn’t come through. That’s not healthy either! Work though it and then move on:
• Acknowledge your disappointment. Think about what happened, how you feel and why it feels so bad. Write down what it means to you if necessary to work through your feelings. It’s okay to feel disappointed and have that lead to sadness. Fighting it keeps it alive. But it’s also important to keep it in perspective!
• Talk it over with a friend. Someone sympathetic and positive can help you work through your feelings. Express how you feel and why. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you helps you let your sadness go.
• Don’t share your feelings with someone negative or who likes to dwell on them! They’ll just rehash your pain instead of encouraging you to look ahead to better things. Negative types can make you feel worse. Be selective about who you turn to.
• Allow your sadness to surface and grieve. Have a cry. It’s okay to feel down for a day or two as what happened sinks in. It’s when it becomes entrenched in your mood that it will be a problem. Soothe yourself with thoughts of other things in your life that are good.
• Ask yourself if you prefer to feel positive or negative. So simple! It’s your choice to feel bad or move on and find things to feel good about. When I feel like that, I clean, to take back control. I always feel better! Recite your blessings. Find what triggers you to snap out of a bad mood and use it.
• Accept that things happen for a reason and move on. When your faith is real, you can trust it will all work out for your highest good. Trying this and seeing it works is the best medicine for overcoming disappointment. Finding the reasons for what happened however far down the road is super empowering!
After my last post I heard from Brenda, who told me a story that I asked if I could share. She went to parochial grade school. When they felt disappointed, one of the nuns told the students not to be and not to think God wasn’t answering their prayers. Brenda still remembers the nun saying:
“God did answer your prayer. He said NO because he knew it wasn’t for our well being at that time…”
As the Rolling Stones said, “You can’t always get what you want.” And that’s okay. Not getting what you want helps you appreciate when you do. Acceptance is a key to moving past disappointment. Even for big things, God has a plan, even if it’s not the one you so desperately wanted. When you can accept that, it’s easier to let go of disappointment and leave more room for being happy!