Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

This is post 45 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Do people ask for your help with something you normally get paid to do? As a writer, I’m often hit on for writing favors. They fall into 2 main categories: 1) Help the person understand how to write a book or read their manuscript or something similar. 2) Write for free in exchange for exposure for my books. I also hear from musicians with questions or pleas for help. Oh yeah, and there’s all the people who want me to speak for free, often colleges pleading no budget.

My usual response is quoting my fee for these services. That usually stops them in their tracks.

I do it nicely. Sometimes I explain that this is my profession, not a hobby on the side. I have no day job. Writing books and articles, speaking, self-empowerment counseling and music business consulting is how I earn my living. It’s a lot of different things that comprise my “day job.” It really isn’t a day job b/c I work day and night to accomplish it all. And weekends it’s not unusual to find me out with my laptop, happily writing a book. Yet people don’t value what I do and consistently want my “help” or advice” for free or well below my rate.

If you give away your talents or sell them very short, you tell the Law of Attraction that you’re not worth being paid and continue to attract unpaid work.

I used to speak for free or for a small honorarium and continued to only get those requests. People need content more than ever with all the online sites and don’t want to pay. I wrote some for free to promote my books. Then it hit me. I was attracting requests to give my talent away for nothing or little! I believed I needed what ever little money or promotion I was offered and begrudgingly accepted it. That told the Universe it was acceptable to me. So the free/low pay requests kept coming.

How could I get paid if I didn’t send the message that I SHOULD be paid for my talent???

I vowed to stop, and did. I turned down low paid speaking offers when my cash was very low and said out loud, “close one door and another 2 open!” Not long after a better opportunity came to me! It was hard. Fear can make you think you should take what you can get when rent is due. But my faith is so strong I don’t go there anymore, and trust I’ll always have what I need. It always comes.

What is your value? How much are your skills or talents worth?

Figure it out. If you design websites for a living, is it fair for your friend to expect one for free? Some folks have a distorted sense of entitlement. They might expect help to enter your field. People call or email me for guidance and think I’m obligated to answer. I don’t anymore! If it’s a quick answer, I’ll give it. If it’s a teeny offer for my speaking, I explain my bottom line and suggest they call when they have a bigger budget. I also keep articles from my blog or e-zine that I rewrite and have them available to be reprinted. But I won’t write an original article if I don’t get paid my rate.

Until you put a specific value on your skills or talents, the Law of Attraction won’t send opportunities to get paid for them.

Stop settling! Set boundaries on what you give for free. Does a friend expect you to design a free logo, though it’s your livelihood? A neighbor want you to fix their car to avoid a paid mechanic? A co-worker want you to teach them computer skills after work on YOUR time, skills you paid to learn and earn more to do them? Set them straight—nicely. They’ll keep taking from you otherwise! You don’t owe other people your talents! Tell the Universe you value and respect what you do and won’t settle for less than you’re worth to share what you do. How can you respond?

* “My plate is too full to help.”
* “Please ask in the future instead of assuming you can _____.”
* “My fee for doing that starts at $_____.”

It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first but practice makes it easier. When someone says, “I can only pay you this for speaking” I reply ”I get paid that.” I don’t argue or defend my position. I own it! Successful people expect to get paid. And they do! I’d still be I in close quarters with 3 roommates had I not realized the message I sent to the Universe by settling for little or nothing for what I do. Now the Law of Attraction send me great deals and opportunities. I send no doubt about who I am and how good I am at what I do.

Think before you agree. If you turn down opportunities you know are demeaning your worth, you send a strong message about your worth. Then the Law of Attraction will send better offers!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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