Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Law of Attraction in Action: Critical/Mean Thoughts

This is post 40 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

I’m a nice person and don’t want to be mean to anyone. But as I’ve become more conscious of my thoughts, I realize that I have some about others that aren’t nice. Did you ever see someone on the street and judge them? Maybe you wonder how she could leave her house wearing that outfit or doesn’t he know that his toupee looks silly? I do. It’s so easy to have critical thoughts that are silent. I used to think it didn’t matter since the person couldn’t hear them.

But I hear them and so does the Universe. I realized it’s not nice, no matter if they’re silent! Plus, it sets the wrong intentions into motion with the Law of Attraction.

I walk a lot. Living in NYC allows me to go almost everywhere by foot. That means a lot of walking and passing a lot of people. I love to people watch and observe different behavior. As a writer, it fascinates me. But I also notice things that make me think thoughts that are critical of some of the people I pass. It used to be fun. I’d wonder why she’s with that goofy looking guy or why he’s wearing that awful jacket.

Don’t they have eyes to see how awful they look?

I think that insecurity makes up pick on others, even if it’s silent. Finding their faults subconsciously makes you feel a little less bad about your own. Every one of us has some insecurity. No matter how good your self-esteem, there’s something you’d love to change if you could or a bad habit you can’t break. I love myself and feel great about who I am but would love to lose more weight if the fat fairy would oblige. I’m happy with my body but would still love to be more svelte. We all have things we’d change if a magic wand could be waved to oblige us.

Accepting our imperfections, especially things we can’t change—such as being what you perceive as too short or the big one, not being able to get younger instead of older—doesn’t mean we wouldn’t prefer to have what we lack. And we can’t help feeling a little envy when seeing someone who has what we don’t. You just need to keep these normal feelings in persepective and control your response to them. I’d love to be younger or thinner or have hair that doesn’t frizz in humidity, etc. What would you love to change if you could?

Criticism of others, even if just a passing thought, often reflects our own insecurity. But that doesn’t make it right!

When I finally caught myself, I became more aware that I don’t like that kind of criticism directed at me. Even if I don’t hear it, it’s a yucky feeling. Yet I was doing it to others! I needed to stop. Consciousness became my guide. Once I noticed this bad habit, I was shocked to realize how often I have negative thoughts about people. I used to think it was harmless. But no negative is harmless!

The Law of Attraction returns our thoughts. I didn’t want to attract negativity by being negative and had to stop!

So I’ve created a sort of self-warning system of consciousness and am still a work in progress. Breaking old habits takes time. But that’s okay since it’s better than not breaking them at all. And the process has been good for me! My awareness is very heightened now. When I notice someone I’d normally rag on mentally, I can stop myself mid-rag now. Sometimes sooner. The important thing is making the effort to stop myself.

When I notice something and begin a critical thought, I interrupt it by telling myself that isn’t nice and I must stop. And I do. I often say “I’m sorry” too.

Each time I put the brakes on a negative feels good to me now. I used to get a kick out of making fun of someone in my head. Now I enjoy being able to stop myself. It’s a great feeling of control. Each time I stop a negative thought about someone, usually a stranger, I applaud myself for breaking my habit of being silently mean. Mean is mean. I don’t want to attract that into my world!

While the person I’m making fun of in my head doesn’t know I’m doing it, I know, and so does the Law of Attraction.

I feel more in control since I’ve been working on stopping my habit. But I intend to break it entirely with practice. All habits can be broken with time and consciousness! Pay attention to your thoughts. Do you judge people in a harsh light in your head? Do you really want to do that? It seemed like a funny thing to me until I began studying the LOA. Now I know that it’s not right, and can attract what I don’t want. Thinking kinder thoughts about others attracts much better stuff. When you do think kinder thoughts, you attract more kindness and compliments.

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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  • http://www.positivelypresent.com positively present

    Great post! Last week I wrote a post on judging others and how much I want to stop doing this. Your post has really helped to remind me just why I don’t want to put critical and negative thoughts out into the universe. Thank you!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04831148211857663252 A Fitness Minute with Pat Anderson

    Lately I've been thinking about being more conscious about not saying anything negative or critical of others. Your post is confirmation to me of how important it is to be aware of, and to control our thoughts.Thanks

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01445486103480238038 Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Judging others is asking to be judged yourself. It's so good you're also putting the word out.It's so true Pat that awareness helps us to control our thoughts.

  • Pinkybow

    This is such an interesting take Daylle. I never thought about the criticism we think but don't express. Thought if I didn't say it it didn't count. But I guess the LOA hears and I must be more careful. Thanks for this!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01445486103480238038 Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Verbal or just a thought, the LOA hears you and supports it.

  • GMan

    Hmm, an expansion on the negatives of criticism. A more subtle but still potent kind. No more making fun behind in my mind! : )

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07146380817795526101 letiziajaccheri

    I am very glad I have found your books and this blog. I am in a phase that I understood I could not continue to be nice but I did not want to become nasty. Here I try to learn to remain nice but to become stronger. thanks for the books and the blog and congratulations for your career Letizia (from Norway and Italy)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01445486103480238038 Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Glad you'll police your thoughts GMan. It's so important for attracting positives.Thanks for your very kind words Letizia! I'm glad that my books and blog are helping you. Keep on being nice, but in a powerful, not DoorMat way!

  • Genaata

    A great lesson for us all! Nasty attracts nasty.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07146380817795526101 letiziajaccheri

    In the last 5 years, since I decided not to criticise, I am experiencing a big challenge in the transition from being a person who criticises to a person who does not to criticise. my mother and my sisters are able of only one type of conversation, that is based on critique and laughing about other people. and they get so angry at me when I do not want to participate.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01445486103480238038 Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    So true Genaata!Good for you Letizia! They're obviously not happy with themselves so they need to get their frustrations out by picking on others, You'll attract the most peace with your way!

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