Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Chillin’ Without Guilt

I’ve been exhausted and stressed lately. I wrote a book with someone who was very difficult to deal with, yet I was responsible for making the deadline. He’s a good guy but not a writer and clueless about many of the things I asked of him. I often got crazy. Meanwhile, I have another book due in July and many more things on my plate. My sister’s husband has cancer that’s grown around the nerves in one side of his face. He’s having surgery next Wednesday and then a long recovery. I’m trying to make myself available to support them in the midst of all the other things.


All prayers are welcome! ☺

So for the last 2 months I haven’t been sleeping well and feel like I’ve been working non-stop. That’s part of why I haven’t been able to post as much on this blog. The book got turned in the end of last week. Once I turned it in, I began to sleep better but I had so much rest to catch up on that I woke up looking forward to nighttime when I could return to sleep. It was hard to do anything. I also haven’t had time to promote my new books and am trying to catch up on that.

On that note, I’d like to announce the video for my first rap record, Girls Can Do. Please check it out and forward it to friends.


I was the first white female rapper on a dare from students in a class I was teaching in junior high school years go. It led me to become the first woman that I know of to start an independent record label, which I ran for 5 years. So in honor of my 2 new books, Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill) and the third edition of my bestselling Start & Run Your Own Record Label, I filmed a video for Girls Can Do. Now I finally have time to get the word out!


But, as I try to catch up and decompress from the last 2 months, I’m also allowing for plenty of “me” time.

Many of us feel guilty about allowing ourselves some “me” time. I used to ruin any pleasure in having time to relax and enjoy by thinking I should be doing something more productive. Guilt tainted all the joy. I thought I should be working or helping someone. That was the DoorMat’s version. Now I understand that everyone is entitled to down time. While I can’t just fritter away my time, I’ve been working very hard and need some R & R, despite having a lot to take care of.

J. Lubbock said, “Rest is not idleness, and to lie on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.


Doing things that make you happy is never a waste of time! It’s important to balance work and play. I have a work relate event to attend this evening so I took advantage of the gorgeous weather by going for a run in Central Park earlier, during work time. I finally recognize that treating myself with love and doing things to stay healthy are just as important as doing my work. So is relaxation, doing nothing at all, playing a computer game and other things with no outcomes except to make me feel good.

As long as you’re not being totally lazy for a prolonged period of time, cut yourself slack on taking R & R. You deserve it, guilt-free!

Now I think I’ll relax a little more. It does feel good. Try it!


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  • Genaata

    I tend to work more than most but plan to take this weekend off and have fun–without guilt! Good reminder.

  • Maxx

    Love the video!

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Good for you Genaata!Glad you enjoyed the video Maxx.

  • Pinkybow

    It really is important to remember to give yourself time. I keep meaning to but don’t. I’ll try to do better.

  • JennYer

    I still feel guilty when I just do nothing. I’ve been a caretaker for everyone around me for most of my life and still find it hard to do stuff for me, including allowing myself to do nothing but relax. I am trying to change that. You’re blog is a big motivation for me.

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