Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

As New Years Eve approaches, people are making their resolutions, knowing they probably won’t be able to keep them, but enjoying for the moment the declaration of lofty goals:

* Lose weight.
* Find a good romantic partner.
* Make more money.
* Get healthier.
* Seek a better job.

Yada Yada Yada! I used to do this too. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rush of knowing you will enter a new year, and by doing so, you’ll gain the resolve to do what you’ve never been able to do before—often many tough things at once. I’d feel so happy as I affirmed all the goals I’d accomplish next year—until the letdown of beginning the new year and realizing that nothing in me had changed.

Resolutions are often empty words that end up making you feel worse when you can’t fulfill them.

Just because it’s 2009, you’re still the same person. Your appetite will be the same. The change of year won’t make you want to go to the gym more after the first few days of trying, or make you more attractive to a romantic partner, or give you the strength to change your life on all the levels you may want to. Accept that! While the year can’t change anything, YOU can make whatever you want happen. A new year isn’t some magic time. But YOU always have the power to change your life IF you want to.

Every New Years eve, while others are out partying and reveling in the resolutions they believe for the moment, I’m doing spiritual rituals to cleanse for the new year and begin on a positive foot.

Even if I go out, I always make time—before or after—to do my traditional work. I begin cleaning early in December. On the day of New Years eve, I finish by dusting and vacuuming my whole apartment. If I feel anger toward anyone (which I don’t this year), I write the person a detailed letter, explaining how I feel, read it aloud with emotion, forgive them in my heart, and then burn it. From the afternoon on, I listen to spoken CDs by great people like Esther and Jerry Hicks, Wayne Dyer, etc. At some point in the evening, I lie down and put on a relaxing CD or two.

For me, New Years Eve is about relaxing, nurturing and preparing to enter the new year in a good place, and with good intentions, not unrealistic ones.

As midnight approaches, either solo or with my partner, I thank each person in my life for being there and say why I’m grateful for him or her. I do this out loud, with feeling. Then I affirm every blessing I can think of and give thanks for each. This gratitude exercise usually sets off some passionate, happy tears. Then I say my only resolution loudly. It’s the same every year:

“I resolve to do my best to continue to grow into the potential of who can be.”

That says it all. I may not be able to lose the weight I’d like but I can do my best to try. You have the potential to achieve your goals and dreams. When you focus on growing into it, instead of lofty goals that become too hard to attain quickly, you may have an easier time making that resolution come true. Once I declare my resolution, I then declare my intentions, which is different. Instead of broad statements of grand resolutions, my intentions are what I can and will work to make happen, just like I set intentions whenever I want something.

* I’d never resolve to lose 20 pounds but I intend to cut back on sugar and eat smaller portions. This doesn’t have a number to achieve but it does help me get to action.

* I don’t resolve to meet a wonderful romantic partner but I intend to be more loving to me. That enables me to attract someone when the time is right, which may not be this year.

* Resolving to become rich is elusive. Intending to seek out other income sources is something that can be done successfully.

* I won’t resolve to stop a bad habit that I’ve had all my life. You can’t just stop biting your nails or smoking or saying “you know” too much or any other habits you may have. But I would intend to do my best to cut back on doing it.

I’m content with doing my best to grow into the potential of what I can be. It’s doable and in my control. I have intentions for my career that I’ve put out for the Law of Attraction to bring back to me. I KNOW they will happen IF I work toward achieving them and am very careful about my thoughts.

Resolve to grow into the potential of what you can be! Then make a conscious effort—through work and positive and clear intentions—to make it happen. I wish you all a blessed, happy, healthy and satisfying New Year, filled with the abundance you attract on all levels!

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