Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


The Law of Attraction in Action: Who Are You?


This is my seventh post in my Monday series on the Law of Attraction, inspired by watching Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. I know it’s Tuesday but I’m traveling and didn’t have Internet access yesterday.

While I was at the college event I spoke at last week, I noticed something lovely. The people at Demo Entertainment Group, who put the event together, had very positive outlooks. They were friendly, happy, enthusiastic and considerate. And guess what? The Law of Attraction brought them volunteers with the same qualities. And attendees. The event was charged with great energy and cheer. Lucky?! I don’t think so!

The Law of Attraction brings you like-minded people. Your persona sends out vibes that attracts more of the kind of person you are.

Everyone you come into contact with mirrors something about you. They’re all attracted for a reason. Someone might reflect your good qualities or something about you that needs changing. When I first heard this concept, I tried to figure out why I’d attracted the boyfriend I’d just broken up with. I didn’t like who he was as a person, which is why I ended it. He was very critical, with a perfectionist manner. He was hard on himself and picked on me. So what did he reflect? His criticism was directed at qualities I didn’t like either. It made me more aware of a need to change the habits I defended to him.

Negative people can teach us valuable lessons. I became a better person by changing some of my ways, once I got rid of my biggest bad habit at the time—the boyfriend! ?

So who are you? Doubtful? Friendly? Skeptical? Whichever one you exude will be reflected in the people who you attract into your life. Years ago, I had a record label. People often warned that the music business was cutthroat. I got advice: “Be careful about everyone and always put yourself first as others do.” “Watch your back.” I didn’t listen and was friendly to everyone. I helped when I could.

By having a positive attitude, I attracted others who had one. I got help with everything I needed.

Big people supported me. I got freebies for services that would cost hundreds, or more. Chris, an engineer at a major mastering studio, who got an exorbitant hourly fee, came to the studio for the final mix for one of my recordings. He added his skills and great ear. Then he took the finished product to his very expensive facility and edited it for free. Why? He said I was a nice person. Few people went out of their way to thank him when he mastered their record. I always did. And I always had good manners.

Many people said it was nice to deal with someone with a courteous, appreciative attitude. They liked helping a nice person.

The Law of Attraction brought me all sorts of good people who, rather than cut my throat, watched out for me with others who might do it. I got an education and was guided to other good folks. While the rest of the people in the music industry lived in a cutthroat world, I created my own little world of kind people who reached out with help. I continue to do it in other areas of my life.

The Law of Attraction helps you to create an immediate positive, personal world that doesn’t have to match a more negative one that others around you may have.

I live in midtown Manhattan. When I have visitors, they’re often surprised at how many people say hello to me when I’m on the elevator or walking down the street. NYC has a rep of being a cold place. My neighborhood has many people. Most are busy. But I always walk with a friendly smile and attitude and NYC folks respond. Neighbors, store clerks, people who work in mine and surrounding buildings recognize me and say hi. My NYC world is warm and friendly! It’s what I expect and my demeanor reflects that!

Survival doesn’t mean sinking to other people’s level. You can change the vibe you put out and attract better people and situations.

When a client complains to me about continuing to attract a certain type of romantic partner, co-worker, boss, customer service person, etc. that they don’t like, I advise taking a good look at themselves. What does their demeanor say?

* People complain about always ending up with an alcoholic partner or one who becomes abusive or demanding or controlling. I’ve never dated one of those types! We tend to subconsciously expect to find qualities we’re used to in all romantic partners. That revolving door pattern can be stopped with consciousness and working on being someone that a good person would be attracted to. Manage your expectations of attracting a clone of earlier romantic partners. What matters is NOW!

* From one job to another, people complain about always getting a boss who expects too much and is insensitive to their needs. My editors and people I’ve worked with when I had a job have always been the best! Walking into a job with a positive attitude and with some tools to deal with difficult folks—just in case—helps create a more peaceful work environment.

* You might have a bad attitude and expect customer service folks to be uncooperative when you’re upset that your phone isn’t working right, a product is defective or any of the other things you need service for. That can make you less than calm and courteous. You may expect to get poor service and let it show in your demeanor. That attracts what you expect—more poor service. From the get-go, try treating the person with respect and appreciation for the help they’ll give you. You might be pleasantly surprised at how much more they’ll want to help you!

Your attitude and general manner tells the Law of Attraction what to send you. Surly brings other surly folks. Cool keeps you chilly from those around you. Dissatisfaction attracts more to make you dissatisfied about. Yet when you have an air of warmth, the Law of Attraction sends more warmth to you. Going out angry attracts more things to be angry about. Leaving what you’re angry about behind you and staying positive attracts a better set of circumstances.

What in your behavior attracts people to you? Think about it! Do you:

* Let bad moods gets to you? Ask yourself what benefits come from that. A bad mood is usually accompanied by negative rumblings in your head. That’s what the Law of Attraction picks up on and supports.

* Carry anger around with you, stewing to other people, and to yourself? That keeps the anger alive. The Law of Attraction will pick up on that and support your stewing. It might even attract more situations that make you angry. Tell the person who made you angry how you feel, either directly or on paper, which they never have to see. Then forgive and move on. If you can’t or don?
??t want to forgive the person directly, do it in your heart.

* Think poorly of yourself? You should know the drill on that one! If you feel bad about yourself, the Law of Attraction will support your lack of confidence. I used to wonder why I couldn’t get out of the hole I dug in my DoorMat days. I felt inferior and looked that way. The Law of Attraction supported my insecurity and people who prey on it. You can fake confidence and get support in that from the Universe until it’s real!

The Law of Attraction isn’t selective. It picks up on everything. Be more conscious about how you come across to others, because that’s how the Law of Attraction views what you want. BE the person you want to attract into your world, no matter how others treat you. That gives you the power to fill your world with good people and situations.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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  • VickiLA

    This is one of those very obvious things that we still easily don’t think about. We do need to be the kind of person we want to attract. thanks for the reminder!

  • Anonymous

    Daylle,I Love this ,"While the rest of the people in the music industry lived in a cutthroat world, I created my own little world of kind people who reached out with help. I continue to do it in other areas of my life."Sharon C

  • http://fashnlvr.blogspot.com Fashnlvr

    I have enjoyed reading your posts. My husband and I have talked about the Law of Attraction. We notice that certain people always end up with the same kind of people time and again. Specifically, their romantic partners. We have a friend who always ends up with clingy women that want “more” and another two friends who always end up with men that treat them poorly. We introduced one of them to a nice man we knew would be good to her and fun, who also found her attractive and begged to be introduced. She couldn’t handle the “good guy” and now is running through a string of “bad guys” once again. It is very interesting stuff.
    Please keep writing as I have been lurking and loving your insights.

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Thanks for your kind words! I appreciate knowing that people find my writing helpful. People will keep attracting the same kind of people until they make a change in themselves. I write about this in depth in some of my relationship books.

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