Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

I confess. I’m currently not in love with a guy right now and feel no shame or disappointment. I’ve dated a few guys lately but nothing special. It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m okay. Actually, I’m better than okay. Falling in love with ME has been the most beneficial love I’ve experienced so far. I’d love to meet a special guy who’d be worth my time. Otherwise, I have so much I want to do and would rather do them than to be bored on a date. I do believe with all my heart that there is one special guy for me, and when the time is right, God will arrange for us to meet.

Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy my life and give myself lots of love and appreciation.

That’s why, in honor of V Day, I shall make a list of things I love about me. You should try it too! Identifying what you’re happy with is a form of gratitude that comes back to you. Love yourself and you’ll get more love from others. So here it is:


1. My connection with God. For so many years I had no faith and I love that I consciously nurtured the strong spiritual mindset I now have.

2. Not being desperate for a man like I was when I was a DoorMat. It allows me to own my life, more enjoyment, and be more relaxed. I’m no longer one of those chicks who’s always looking to see what men are in the place I’m in or wasting time trying to figure out how to meet one.

3. My pretty green eyes. Not hazel but real green! I never knew I had them until someone pulled me to a mirror and forced me to pay attention. My flaws blinded me to my good qualities.

4. My cheerful nature. I used to act cheerful so people would like me more but inside I was crying. Now the cheer I give is what I feel!

5. My smile, which radiates through me to everyone in my path. I remember when I rarely smiled as I was too on edge trying to please everyone to notice that I wasn’t receiving joy. Now I’m known for my smile. People call me Sunshine and Star.

6. My perseverance for running. It’s NY. Winter. Cold. Yet I continue to go to Central Park whenever my schedule and wet weather allows. Folks are incredulous that I go in the cold. I explain that my body doesn’t cut me slack because it’s winter. It doesn’t put weight gain on hold till spring. I HATE doing cardio at the gym. So I put on my fleece and know that it’s my CHOICE. I rationalize that I must burn more calories as my body fends off the cold winds. ?

7. That I make budgeting for a personal trainer for weight training a priority. I’d never worked out in a gym till 6 years ago. I had taken aerobic classes but stayed away from free-weights, even though they called me, because I didn’t know what to do with them and the room mainly had guys. My personal trainer taught me good form and now I’m the first woman he’s worked with who can bench press 35-pound dumbbells. I’m working up to 40 pounds. Now men in the gym watch me in fascination!

8. My soft, curvy, in proportion body. I used to just see the cellulite. Now I love my curves and continue to exercise to get into even better shape. But I appreciate that I’m good now!

9. My writing skills. I feel so blessed to be able to earn a living as a writer. I LOVE writing so much and found my way into the most fabulous career that any girl could want—one that I never dreamed I could do back in DoorMatville.

10. My tenacity in turning down work, when things are tight. I vowed to only do what I love and my faith allows me to do that, even when things might look bleak to someone else.

Okay, I’m cheating. I said 10 things but I can’t limit it and will continue. Self-love and appreciation is the truest blessing! Since it’s Valentine Day, please indulge me. I also LOVE:

11. That I’ve learned to value passion, people and contentment over striving to make a lot of money. I see so many rich, yet unhappy folks. They work hard to rake in the cash, then spend it on possessions that they think they need, but aren’t happy when they get them. I always have enough for what I need. I LOVE that my joy comes from a deeper place.

12. That I live with intention of serving God through my writing and speaking. I get letters EVERY day from people who’ve read one of my books, telling me the impact it had on them. I may not have the biggest bank account around but I consider this abundance in the richest state.

13. I LOVE that I love my face. That may sound conceited but after hating it for most of my earlier years, it’s so lovely to look in the mirror and like what I see. With or without makeup, I now consider myself very pretty!

14. That I’m aging well and feel like I continue to get better, not worn out. Taking good care of myself on all levels supports that.

15. That I’m VERY healthy and continue to strive to maintain it. I never cared as I didn’t feel worthy of loving care.


So there you go. Some of the things I love about me. I had a lovely lunch with a friend today and tonight I’m getting acupuncture, which always makes me fee fabulous after. So it’s a very loving day. I confess that I bought myself a teeny box of chocolates and ate them all! Being in love with YOURSELF is truly the most satisfying love there is.

I encourage you to make your own list of what you love about YOU and would LOVE you to post it in my comments so we can all see them and feel your joy. If you put it on your blog, please let me know and I’ll link to you.

Happy LOVE Day!

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