J Walking

J Walking

“I wish I could see the angels”

Livvy is going through an “I’m scared” phase at night. She wants us to sleep in her bed and check on her all the time. As I write, her shades are up, a little nightlight is on, and she’s hugging her Raggedy Ann…and a dozen other stuffed animals… simultaneously.
A few nights ago as I was tucking her in she said, “Daddy. I want to see the angels.”
I didn’t quite get it.
“I want to see the angels that protect me. That way I won’t be so scared.”
I felt like saying, “Yeah, me too.” But I don’t think that she would have understood me. So I told her that no, she couldn’t see them and I couldn’t either but that we knew they are there.
Were she older I would have told her about the one or two times that I felt angelic presence in an almost palpable way.
One of them was 5 1/2 years ago as I recuperated from brain surgery (but not on the sensory part of the brain – just in case you were thinking I was imaging things). Kim and I were so close to God, so dependent on Him for everything. There was no life apart from him. Every night before we went to sleep we spent a good bit of time praying not just for ourselves but for others and also just marveling at God’s goodness.
In the middle of one of those nights I was turning over when I became aware of a presence – an almost electric presence – in the room. It didn’t feel like anything I’d ever come across before. It certainly wasn’t malevolent. But neither did it exude any syrupy niceness. It felt weighty, certain, sturdy, good. As I said, it was was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
I didn’t make the full turn. Instead I just laid there on my back, fully conscious, feeling like I needed to be fully still. And so I was. I wanted to tap Kim and wake her up and try and explain it all but I had this sense that by the time I did that the experience would have been over, the force gone… the sense that this was for me.
But she isn’t older and wouldn’t get that story. So I hold her close and I am teaching her to pray and telling her about the Good Shepherd and all the while reminding myself that I can’t see the angels either but I know that they are there.

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posted November 14, 2008 at 1:54 am

I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now. Am walking through my own cancer journey as I shout one year to breast cancer survival but am awaiting a biopsy next week for a node in my neck. There are days where the fear is palpable, but so is the presence of angels. Thank you for sharing this… I needed the reminder. God is faithful!

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Albert the Abstainer

posted November 14, 2008 at 6:15 am

David, you and I have very different ways of approaching spiritual matters and religion. I don’t share your beliefs. That said: You convey the state of your daughter and the Presence, (which I am familiar with), very effectively. I get the role of religion in your life, and the picture you paint in this short narrative hits the right emotional buttons, (not sentimental syrup, preachy or packaged testimonial.) Your religious practice is obviously the anchor and it shapes your family. This is the fruit of a way that works for you, and it is good. Like I said, our approaches are different. It is as though we are climbing a mountain and I see your family as a group ascending a difficult path successfully. You have great climbing gear, and despite some less than perfect footings have a natural affinity for the task, a cautious confidence, not in your skill but in the fact that you will reach the summit. Many people find terribly difficult paths and use extremely unorthodox gear. In fact, they often use the gear they have in terribly inappropriate ways. It leaves me shaking my head, because I know that they will face terrible challenges and may fall a few times, (and mighty painfully too), before learning a less dangerous, painful and scary way. It also makes it difficult to see the awe that grants one when from time to time a glimpse of the summit shines through the surrounding clouds.
Thanks for sharing David.

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posted November 14, 2008 at 7:28 am

I think Livvy will know them when she and they are ready. In the meantime, she did well with parents.

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posted November 14, 2008 at 9:06 am

Angels are like love. You can’t see it, but you know when it’s there

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posted November 14, 2008 at 1:30 pm

I think there is an interesting point in a parent’s life when you realize you can’t take away the fear or pain but can be there for your child while they experience.
I remember clearly at five years of age the pain in my heart when my father died. It was unbearable and I was inconsolable. My mother gave me a plastic Virgin Mary and I would say the Hail Mary over and over. Time lessened the pain. But most of all I wanted to know my mother was there if my father wasn’t.
Also the one that I couldn’t or wasn’t allowed to do was give voice to the pain.
Has she voiced her fears to you? What are the shapes, colors and textures of her fears. Maybe she can draw them for you?

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posted November 14, 2008 at 4:31 pm

David, your wonderful story reminds me of another:
I once heard broadcaster Pat Summerall tell the story of the moment he knew he had an alcohol problem. He had arrived a day early to broadcast a golf tournament. He stopped at a liquor store and bought a pantry full of booze on the way from the airport to his tournament rental house. That night he drunk himself to sleep, alone in the house. In the night, he awoke and went to the restroom. He turned on the light and turned and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. Summerall says that, at that moment, the lights suddenly became more intense, and he saw himself in more complete focus than he’s ever seen himself — before or since. He felt like he was being revealed to himself, and he didn’t like what he saw.
After that golf tournament, he immediately checked into a rehab center. Maybe a year later, he was at a speaking engagement in Dallas. He told this story. When he finished the speech and the audience scattered, a man came up to Summerall. It was Tom Landry. Landry asked Summerall if he knew who had affected the light in that bathroom. Pat didn’t know. Landry’s opinion was that it was the work of angels.
That put Summerall on a trajectory to becoming a Christian. Which he later did become.

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posted November 21, 2008 at 1:35 pm

I’ve been reading an incredible book lately about this very subject. It’s called “Ask Your Guides,” by Sonia Choquette. With regular practice, focus, and prayer, you will find that connecting with your angels gets easier and easier. Livvy’s right–they’re right there!
I’m sending a few your way right now, my friend. Lots of love and light to you during this last round.

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Your Name

posted November 23, 2008 at 8:47 am

I’m somewhat like this sweet child and I’m in my 40s,and I have send an angel or 2 when my grandmother,and my dad died just within a few months apart,and I can truthfully say I do belief that ANGELS do and are amungest us and guides all of us. So to let Livvy know when the time comes she will see a few ANGELS and it will be just us beuitiful for her as it was me and others before her

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posted November 23, 2008 at 2:47 pm

I am touched by this child and her fears. Dad, please look up, where you can learn EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), very easily, quickly, and most of all, for free. THAT will dispel your daughter’s fears in nothing flat, often within a few minutes. All you have to learn it to “tap” on certain meridian points on the face and torso, and voila! — end of problem.
Good luck and God Bless!

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posted November 24, 2008 at 12:16 am

Several years ago I was terribly worried about my daughter-in-law & in the night an angel came to me & told me not to worry, that she would be alright, so I stopped worrying about her & she lived a long time after that before she died a couple of years ago.

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posted November 24, 2008 at 12:32 am

I believe in angle,s too,and keep your good work as a daddy,and alway,s remember that God love,s you,and so do we.

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posted November 24, 2008 at 7:22 am

Four days after My Beloved Mother passed, in the early morning hours, I could not sleep and was staring at the ceiling, when a light mist appeared, then a lighted Angel. It was twinkling so bright for about a minute, then to the right of her was a dove, then they both disappeared into thin air. I feel that was my Mom thanking me for taking care of her and that she was just fine on the other side.

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posted November 24, 2008 at 9:31 am

I believe in Angels, they have been with me perhaps since I was a child and I didn’t even realize it. However in my 40s I finally came to the realization that Angels were with me and I began collecting them – now they are a part of me. When I was working on my Doctorate’s degree one night I had so much work (writing) to do that I called for Angelic help and so it happened. That evening I completed an unbelievable amount of work, I was tired and decided to step outside for a breath of fresh air (backyard), the night was beautiful and starred and when I looked up to the heavens in a “flash” my Angel was there, holding a banner, but in the same instant I saw my Angel it vanished, I look again but it was gone – however, now I call it “My Writing Angel”.
God bless and yes the Angels are His messengers.

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linda jensen

posted November 24, 2008 at 9:45 am

god sends angels down in different ways also,this gentalman cam to me and told me he was hungry,i had just bought breafast so all i said i’m sorry this is all i got he had a sausage sandwich and a drink, i was going into a store he told me bless me when i turned back around just like a sec. later he was gone,i felt so good but that man was no where around.bless god for testing me with his angels

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posted November 24, 2008 at 10:54 am

Now that my aunt has passed away, there have been nights that I know that she is with us. Nothing will ever ex[lain why a song that I have never heard before came on as I started to think about how she was no longer here. The song is called smiling down on you, and is by a group that I have never heard of before, but I have almost always listened to christian music, it is by Pillar. That song and just feeling a gentle hand on my back at times when no one else is awake in the house is enough for me.

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Your Name

posted November 24, 2008 at 4:58 pm

My son and his new bride lived in a two story house, adjacent to the landlord’s house on an avocado farm in Calif. He said he kept hearing noises on the roof, like someone very heavy was landing and then pacing all of one evening. My son watched from upstairs, as a group of young men in a variety of clothing styles stood in a circle around Steven, the landlord’s son. Steven was out in the middle of the driveway, working on his motorized mini-motorcycle. He was meeting his teenage buddies the next morning to go riding through the groves. My son said the young men stood around Steven, talking to each other, but not to Steven until nearly midnight. My son noted that was unusual because all the young men were a different race than Steven, and he usually only had friends within his racial group. My son and his wife went on to bed, tho the young men still were in a circle around Steven who seemed to be unaware of their presence. The chattering of the circle of young men kept my son awake for quite a while. The next day my son asked Steven’s father who that group was the night before out with Steven. The father said there had been no one out there with Steven, he was alone. Then the father said that when Steven went out riding in the avocado groves with his friends that morning, that he hit a low hanging wire at a fast rate of speed and was decapitated. I think that angels came early and were waiting to take Steven away.

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Sandreena Lee

posted November 25, 2008 at 11:28 pm

I was in my second year of Beauty School, and i was hurring home to fix dinner…the way i traveled in my old car, was familar…i had travelled that way for a year already, and no incidents….but today was going to be different… It was rush hour traffic, and i was following the cars ahead of me…when i suddenlly went into a underpass where traffic vers off the right and left of me to get on the south and north exist for the freeway….it was right there my car went dead…and i tried and tried to restart my car to no avail…i was calm though, and i said a small prayer that i needed help….no sooner that i said it than two big, strong, young men asked me if i needed help…i said yes, and they proceeded to push me out of the line of traffic…witch was no easy task for i weighted at that time at least 280 pounds, plus however much the car weighed…i could hear the groans from my “angles” put they pushed me and my car in a parking lot in back of Dennys…no sooner than they got there, the men took off in different directions…i had bearly enough time to get out of the car, much less hollar thank you…i said a prayer of gratitude and one for the two men…then i tried to start the car again…no i went in the resturant and called my husband…in 15 minutes he was there…he got into the car, and it started right up…and i never had any trouble with the car again…and to this day, i have never seen the young men who helped me again….but i “God Bless” them daily for saving my life.

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posted November 26, 2008 at 11:51 pm

I’ve had several small instances but the one I like to tell the most is: One day I was behind an unusually slow driver who was making me crazy. I was thinking ‘I can’t take much more of this,’ and looked to see if I could get into the left lane. A woman’s voice came to me and said, “No, stay where you are.” Within seconds, there was a rear-end collision in the left lane. It would have been me had I changed lanes as I had wanted.

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posted November 28, 2008 at 10:16 pm

I have had several encounters with angels to. The one that keeps me thanking them and looking for them happened in November 2001. I lost my oldest son on 11/20/01. I had taken some pictures just a few days before he died and on four of them was my Gurdian Angel. I had just heard a song on the radio called,”Lord It’s In Your Hands” and it would not leave my mind or heart. When I got the call that Tuesday morning those words became like a soft cushion under me. I was blessed to meet the author of the song and thank her for it. My pictures I carry with me always. They have helped many others who have doubted in angels. May you be blessed with many blessings.

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posted November 28, 2008 at 10:24 pm

Hello Everybody, I read it from all of you. I like your Good Stories. I am impressed.
Yes, I always believe in the Real Good Angels..over the world. I love the Real Good Angels and God..too. They are in my Heart Forever. I always pray all the my Whole Life. I know The Good Angels are here with me. I have Faith in the Good Angels..Forever. I wish I could see the Real Good Angels. They know How I feel.
I am blessed by God. that’s all.
God Bless You.. I love you…Everyone.
Everybody, Good Luck.
From Good Friend

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posted December 2, 2008 at 12:16 pm


posted January 13, 2009 at 10:50 am


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posted January 15, 2009 at 11:23 am

Been an Aide to George Bush, you would have been privilidged to
many political experiences ?
After all Father and Son, (both FILTHY RICH) were definitely not
well liked.
I honestly believe they were BOTH DESPISED human species likened
to all Global DICTATORS, and deservedly so !!!

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posted January 21, 2009 at 4:59 pm

my daughter chelsea mcallister was shot by a sawed off shot gun in the face,and her sister came from outside into the livingroom where she was and saw her sister chelsea standing..ashley never saw her face with blood on it,she did see it on the floor ..I believe god protected ashley from seeing her sister like this.even though i am still in pain over loosing chelsea i believe god was with her that night.I latter prayed that god would tell me if shes ok and about six months latter i heard god say to me i have her….it was such comfort but still it hurts so bad without chels….diane

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