I think I’m battling the blues… and wrestling with God.
It is hard to figure out where one ends and the other begins.
The blues part is fairly straightforward – nothing feels quite right, decisions are hard to come by, enthusiasm for most things is low… the blues.
But so much of that feels like it is coming from this unexplained standoff I am having with God.
And that, of all things, seems the silliest of all things. Why on earth am I on a standoff with God? What is there to be standing off about? Yet that is what it feels like… it feels like I’m giving him the stiff arm… which, of course, is absurd. How do you give the Creator of the universe the stiff arm. Kind of like a turtle thinking he could hold back that 41-foot wave a surfer conquered the other day…
Not sure how to break through…