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Canucklehead

posted by David Kuo

Canucklehead sent me his story but given his generally surly attitude I am tempted not to post it. Alas the invitation was for everyone, even… him.

Hi all! I’m Canucklehead (aka Tim).
I’ve spent most of my life in western Canada where I grew up in a fundamentalist Protestant community where we sang songs with really cool theology like “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam,” “Climb, Climb Up Sunshine Mountain” and “If You’re Saved and You Know It, Rat on a Friend.”
I went to college/university/seminary in Winnipeg/Toronto/Chicago and currently live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, in the heart of the Canadian oilpatch. We’re a sister city to Houston and have something like 90,000 “oilpatch” Americans who live here.
I’ve been a Baptist pastor for so long now that I long ago embraced the post-tribulation view of the eschaton, believing that I’ve already been thru the tribulation at least three times. (Hey, that coincides with the number of Baptist churches I’ve pastored!) I have also taught part-time at a number of colleges over the years. The present church I’m in is pursuing a “build” with Habitat for Humanity which I’m quite pleased about as I’m big into social action/justice. I just gave a major presentation to our church on “why ministry in the 21st century cannot be like ministry in the 20th century” and am excited about some initiatives we’re doing related to that.
In other lives, I’ve worked as a journalist for various secular and religious publications and done TV/radio commentary work for various media outlets. I have also served as an editor/advisor/critic to my youngest brother (Phil Callaway) who has published something like 15 books of “Christian” humor with various American publishers such as Multnomah, Harvest House and Bethany.
My current project is finishing the last 2 chapters of a PhD dissertation on growing up fundamentalist during which I’ve been reminded that sports, humor, God’s grace, Joyce (the “love” of my life) and good music (see above, also Eagles/Bob Seger/Peter Cetera/Chicago/Ethel Waters) and books like Dave’s Tempting Faith are responsible for leaving me with some semblance of sanity intact. I just finished reading Frank Schaeffer’s CRAZY FOR GOD which reminded me a lot of my growing up years.
I’ve been a political junkie all my life and really got into American politics during the Jane Byrne/Harold Washington eras as mayors of Chicago.
Joyce and I have three twenty-somethings in various stages of studying law (oldest) and psychology (two youngest) so there’s hope yet that I can be declared legally insane.
I really enjoy the perspectives shared on this site and was greatly moved by Dave’s recent trip to Uganda.
If God should lead you to support my ministry with an ample donation, please feel obliged.

Tim_A.jpg
We wouldn’t be the same without you Canucklehead… now, back to my 30-day…



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Doug

posted May 12, 2008 at 1:42 pm


Canucklehead, I should have known you were a member of the Baptist clergy, the only people Lutherans are ever tempted to evangelize. That’s a very dignified picture of a man not wearing pants.



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Brian Horan

posted May 12, 2008 at 2:32 pm


BLAME CANADA!
“I… currently live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, in the heart of the Canadian oilpatch.”
Two years ago I visited Banff: the incredible park with turquoise lakes and rivers. Incredible!
When the fourth tribulation hits, can I come live in your church basement?



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Thinker

posted May 12, 2008 at 4:29 pm


Canucklehead – author of my favorite posts. We would have never kept track of David’s “30 day” without you!!



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reddopto

posted May 12, 2008 at 4:30 pm


He seems sort of burned out. Churches need enthusiastic leaders to be successful.
I too, was raised fundamentalist, but my parents thought a secular education was valuable. So, the kids went to state universities and got secular careers. My sister, who is an opera singer, turned into an Episcopalian because they paid her to sing, and she got into that liberal thing they have going at the universities.
My two brothers and myself became more moderate, but staunch Christians nonetheless. My two brothers became rocket scientists, and I became an optometrist. Our children are Christians as well.



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canucklehead

posted May 12, 2008 at 5:20 pm


Hey, I responded to Dougie’s first post – did it get censored because I was in my Speedo?
“He seems sort of burned out. Churches need enthusiastic leaders to be successful.” reddopto
That’s why I faithfully watch John Hagee every Monday night for that Sunday-night/Monday-morning Pastors’ Blues pick-me-up. It’s my favorite comedy show.



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Donny

posted May 12, 2008 at 6:57 pm


Canada, mmmmm, hmmmmmmmm.



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Thinker

posted May 12, 2008 at 7:28 pm


Hey Donny, I’m beginning to get your sense of humor…. this is a big step because I also get canucklehead’s sense of humor on occasion.



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Doug

posted May 12, 2008 at 7:32 pm


THinker, you’ll be funny in no time.



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canucklehead

posted May 12, 2008 at 7:49 pm


Doug scorns me.
Brian wants to use me.
Thinker associates me w/ sex.
Redopto psycho-analyzes me.
David censors me.
Donny donnys me.
I knew there was a reason I loved this blog.



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Doug

posted May 12, 2008 at 8:11 pm


I never scorned you, Timmy. You aren’t worth the effort.



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Brian Horan

posted May 12, 2008 at 9:30 pm


Canucklehead,
I only asked to camp in your woods in the case of tribulation.
It’s much more likely that the apocalypse is coming. And, in that case, I wanna be livin’ in LA.
Down here in the States everything happens on the coasts first.
Once Magog (as referenced in Revelations) has a controlling interest in Haliburton, I’m starting a commune in Venice Beach. You’re welcome to come.
It sounds like that oil patch up there in Calgary is what Ronald Reagan termed, a focus of evil. I think Canadian gas would be cheaper if local oil was sold locally.



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Brian Horan

posted May 13, 2008 at 12:19 am


canucklehead,
It was a fraternal member of the Vancouver B.C. underground that turned me on to the master of Stephen King, aka hack horror writer. I remind you to read your apocalyptic copy of ‘The Stand’.
Before I met this individual I only read Philosophy and Political Science.
It took Canadians to teach me the power of the narrative.
I beckon you to the coast of the New Jerusalem, California. I am sure you can come as far south as the bay area of Philip K. Dick, San Francisco.
There lies the neo-Marxist movement and the neo-Gnostic love.
Come to the States.
God has told me that Banff lies in eternal turquoise paradise and my focus should be the transient world of the space-time-continuum.
There are prophets in the bay area, like Warlock master Jerry Garcia.
I have no need to use you.



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Brian Horan

posted May 13, 2008 at 11:04 am


Canucklehead,
Sorry, I put a few back last night. I had to take my wife’s fourteen year old cat to be put down yesterday. I felt guilty and escaped by speaking in psychedelic hippie code, the way my friend, Buddy (from Vancouver, B.C.), and I would’ve talked.
Actually, I don’t know if I meant as much to Buddy as he meant to me.
My other Vancouver, B.C. friend, Shannon, thinks that Buddy is gonna be a Korean English Teacher lifer. Two years ago when Shannon and I reunited, I just assumed neither of us had a way of contacting him.
Now, I’ve lost touch with Shannon.
I taught in South Korea in 04. Back then I was pretty pissed off about my country’s invasion of Iraq. Your fellow Canadians really helped to ground me and not take myself so seriously.
I don’t like stereotypes unless they’re positive. I’m gonna throw out a positive stereotype: All the Canadians I’ve met are really cool.
Heck, even Jim Carey is a Canadian. His favorite, Oprah’s favorite, and my favorite author – Eckhart Tolle lives in Vancouver.
I like that you included your musical tastes in your profile. You seem to be into the same music my older brother is. He’s 38.
Music seems to communicate Gospel principals in a way that says, “I’m okay and you’re okay. Check this out and feel groovy.”
I like U2, Beck, the Grateful Dead, George Harrison (most Beatles stuff really), Talking Heads, B-52s, etc.
As far as Canadian rock goes, I really dig The Guess Who (It’s the new mother nature takin’ over) and Rush. Most Gen Xers, like myself, would admit to groovin’ on Alanis Morsette. And with all the hoopla over the film ‘Titanic’ in the late 90s, I’ll even admit to listening to Celine Dion (Once more, you open the door…).
“My current project is finishing the last 2 chapters of a PhD dissertation on growing up fundamentalist during which I’ve been reminded that sports, humor, God’s grace, Joyce (the “love” of my life) and good music…”
I’ve reminisced about growing up fundamentalist myself and theirs a lot of good memories there too. I’m thinking of trying to write a book about it (How else am I gonna afford to start a commune in Venice beach unless I write a best-seller?)
One particular Christian rock group I loved growing up was Petra.
Anyhow…



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canucklehead

posted May 13, 2008 at 3:00 pm


Thx for the input, Brian.
When I was a kid, I was a die-hard Guess Who fan (still have all their LPs and most of the stuff from Burton Cummings’ solo career as well as what Randy Bachman did with Bachman-Turner Overdrive (Takin’ Care of Business, et al)) after GW broke up. Because the community I was raised in believed rock music was from hell, the only way I could have those albums in the house was to pilfer my parents’ George Beverly Shea collection and slip Best of the Guess Who inside GBS’s “I Surfed Today Where Jesus Walked” cover.
One day when my mom was flipping thru their GBS collection she came across “Best of the Guess Who, Volume 2″ (fold-out album, cool). After pausing to note that Bev Shea had grown his hair quite long, she took a black felt marker and wrote ROTTEN! across the inside-foldout photo of Burton, Randy and the lads. She then placed it on my bed for when I came home from school. I protested that it had to be my brother Phil’s album b/c I was going thru a bagpipe music phase at the time which she considered acceptable. In any event, Phil got the “Would you want to be found listening to this music when Jesus returns?” reprimand that day.
I was at a funeral last Saturday for the father of life-long friends that I grew up with and we spent a couple of hours reminiscing about all of the stunts we pulled while growing up fundy. While I certainly don’t hold grudges or ill-will towards my upbringing, I’ve always been very intrigued by how that school of thot interprets God, hence the dissertation I’m doing.
tc



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Brian Horan

posted May 13, 2008 at 10:55 pm


Canucklehead,
Believe it or not, some parents in the early 80s were still on the whole rock & roll is of the devil kick. Yours truly had parents that missed flower power.
I was directed to get rid of comic books I’d bought at garage sales as early as second grade. I think I had an original priceless copy of the first appearance of the Scorpion in Spiderman that was trashed, as well as Daredevil issue #5.
In fourth grade I was forbidden to see ‘Gremlins’ and ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’. Looking back now the 2nd ‘Indy’ was pretty gratuitous. I recently acquired a Marvel Comics adaptation of ‘Temple of Doom’ and have to admit that the back cover looks like the Iron Maiden album ‘Live after Death’.
Then the whole Dungeons & Dragons scare hit while I was in fifth grade. Here in the burbs of Denver the rumor was you could hear a demon scream if you through the game into a fire.
I had a elder Jewish neighborhood friend who Dungeon Mastered for me one-on-one like a Scientology auditing session. The guilt was incredible still.
In 6th grade I opted to buy the role playing game Star Frontiers with paper route money because it lacked sorcery and eased my conscience. Still my dad made me take it back to the novelty shop in the mall. Luckily my brother in law bought it for me recently on Ebay.
By the end of sixth grade I discovered Led Zeppelin and the Beatles psychedelic stuff (which my dad somewhat appropriately labeled their drug phase) through my older brother, who my parents thought had a one-way-ticket to hell.
In seventh grade my dad was having none of that from me. I covertly bought the Who’s Greatest Hits and Who’s Next at K-mart in their $4.99 bin. (Hey, Meher Baba’s devotee, Pete Townsend, sells his goods at a reasonable price.)
After I’d just opened them up and hardly even had the chance to play them all the way through, good old dad drove me up to the local K-mart to return ‘em. Customer service didn’t want to compensate me because they’d been played.
I lied and said that they came that way, 1/2 way through. Then I got the third degree from both my dad and the customer service guy. I was just thinking, “I didn’t wanna return ‘em anyhow.”
I built a pretty respectable tape collection for a kid in the burbs, but had a conversion via YOUNG LIFE my sophomore year of high-school.
By my junior year of high school I made my dad and Bible study leader proud and smashed all my tapes on my own accord at a Wednesday night
Bible Study.
I was carrying on pre-flower-power traditions. God bless America!



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canucklehead

posted May 14, 2008 at 1:35 am


yeah – the guilt, the shame, the manipulation – when all we wanted to be was like every other red-blooded North American kid
I’m thinking of writing a book on what you hear when you “backmask” CDs; in my day they were telling us that when you played rock ‘n roll LPs backwards you could hear the devil speaking, or was it Bob Larsen? is he still terrorizing the Denver area with his radio programs?



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Brian Horan

posted May 14, 2008 at 8:19 am


One of the wise Traveling Wilburys says on ‘End of the Line’, “The best you can do is forgive.”
With that said, I can’t overstate the damage that was done to me by guys like Bob Larsen (Who the hell knows what he’s up to now?) I became paranoid at points in my life of demonic possession.
I’m saving a lot of those details for an autobiography if I ever write one. Who knows?… I may wanna run a political campaign against the military industrial complex down here, so maybe I’ll just leave the details between God and I. Suffice it to say that I wouldn’t wish that torment on Dick Cheney.
With all that suffering I searched out every philosophy I could to reassure myself that a foreign entity couldn’t take me over and make me commit some demonic act.
At one point I had to see a shrink. This unassuming fellow remarked that I had really been through a mind-f**k, if you know what I mean.
L. Ron Hubbard ain’t go nuthin’ on folks like Larsen and the producers of ‘The Exorcist’.
On a positive note, Dominican mystic Meister Eckhart says in his medieval way that God is closer to our true self than our fragile little egos.
Through all this, I probably could relate to some of Luther’s despair.
Before encountering angels like Meister Eckhart, between fearing demonic possession and reading the book of Job literally (I’m not kidding), at one point in my youth… I just started to hate God.
I got more relief from reading Carl Sagan than Campus Crusader Josh McDowell (‘Evidence that Demands a Verdict’).



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canucklehead

posted May 14, 2008 at 1:31 pm


last time I saw Larsen – a few yrs ago now – he was sporting a new wife and pushing his radio show; I see he now has a website = Bob Larsen, Exorcist = http://www.boblarson.org and is based in Scottsdale now; must be lotsa demons in the sun belt



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canucklehead

posted May 14, 2008 at 1:58 pm


I never scorned you, Timmy. You aren’t worth the effort.
Posted by: Doug | May 12, 2008 8:11 PM
Timmy is what my 19 yr old daughter calls me. I don’t know if Dr. Dobson would approve or not? Do you think I should write to inquire?
By the way, I want to thank you all for your generous response to my invitation to donate to my ministry. The people in the front office have asked me to ask you to PLEASE STOP SENDING ANYMORE CASH, CHECKS, OR LAND TITLES FOR BEACH PROPERTY IN NORTH DAKOTA! THE STOREHOUSES ARE FULL TO OVERFLOWING. YOU’VE BEEN VERY GENEROUS.
Anybody else think Kuo kind of looks like Guru Pikta?



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Doug

posted May 16, 2008 at 5:06 pm


Don’t we need an address or link or something to donate to your ministry, pal? I have no idea who Guru Pikta is so I’ll just say yes, the spitting image.



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canucklehead

posted May 17, 2008 at 12:11 am


check out Guru Pikta on the Beliefnet home page – one of the four main photos most of the week – a virtual double of Dave!



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