J Walking

J Walking

Beautiful, broken Lindsay

I am haunted by the beauty of Lindsay Lohan’s booking photo. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a booking photo that is truly art – though, I suppose, each one is art in its own way. Hers is art. It belongs in a gallery.
I look at this picture and am awed by the young woman’s beauty. Her objective beauty. And I am heartbroken by the mouth that seems to whispering, “help,” and the eyes that are wide and bewildered. Hers is the face of “lost” as in Jesus describing those who are lost.
I don’t mean this in an eternal damnation point. I don’t know the state of her soul. I just know that she is lost and I suppose the heartbreak I feel is the heartbreak of a father for a daughter.
My oldest, Laura, is only 10 years younger than Ms. Lohan. And I see all around her the pressure and the pull to be just like Lindsay’s image – to be cool, and with it and “in.” I am so grateful that she – thanks largely to her mom – is able to look at that stuff and say, “silly.” She still loves horses more than boys. We encourage that.
I think though that my heartbreak for Ms. Lohan is minuscule compared to Jesus’ love for her. I do not here mean the “love” of men who would paint Jesus as a political conservative, the men who would lead people to believe Jesus is more interested in condemning then loving, the men who have made the Jesus of the Gospels into their own image. I mean Jesus. I mean Jesus who would say to Lindsay, “I am peace, I am love, I am safe. Come to me.” Lindsay needs that. So do we all.

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posted July 24, 2007 at 8:37 pm

I think this may be the best post ever written…especially that final paragraph. Thank you for reminding us.

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posted July 24, 2007 at 10:54 pm

What I don’t get is how someone with so much going for her, blows it quite so badly. Maybe it is because I am 48 years old and have managed to avoid glaring shipwrecks in my own life, or maybe it is because I think of what I would have made of the types of opportunities that she has had. Either way, what I see is someone who is to be pitied much more than envied. Young adult years (15 – 25) are not easy, and for Lindsay they are probably going to get a lot tougher.
I hope that she manages to get her act together, and can climb back out of the hole she has dug for herself. I wouldn’t wager money on it, but then stranger things have happened.
As for the photo, it has a certain haunting beauty to it. There is a bit of the “deer in the headlights” look to her in it.

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posted July 25, 2007 at 1:28 am

I could not agree more. I have been there before. I am a greatful recovering drug addict. I cannot even begin to describe the despair you feel. You feel lost, beaten, worthless. I had already come to know Christ before my addiction grew. I played with fire and got burned badly. It is one of the hardest things I have ever endured. You whole life collapses and you do damage to so many other people around you. You start on a cycle of using, stopping, feeling all sorts of guilt, self worth plunges, use again. It is so so so dark and despair is always around the corner. My last time, I almost ended up killing my self via overdose. My life had completely fallen apart. I had alienated all my friends and family. My work product was gone. I ended up for a week in my house alone using until my body began shutting down. I was able to call 911 and survived. I remember the EMT telling me how he didn’t care if I died, after all I brought on myself. I was totally humiliated, alone and lost. I had no idea of what to do next. My company put me in rehad (third stint). I was at the end of my rope and contemplating leaving the facility when an amazing, wonderful thing happend. God literally spoke to me through a stranger. I was in an elevator at the facility, going to my room. I was in bad shape. A woman was on the elevator with me, who I had never met before. She knew nothing about me or my past. She kept looking at me, then when we exited the elevator, she stopped me and said,”I don’t know you or your situation, but I feel lead to say this to you.” I looked at her like she was insane, but I said, ok. She then said,”God wants you here, he has interceded on your behalf for you to be here. He loves you and wants you here.” I was amazed, I went to my room and fell on my knees in prayer. I felt His love and acceptance like I have never felt it before. I was not the worthless POS I believed for so long. I was loved child of God. He actually cared for my well being and He intervened when I could not help myself. That began some true healing. It hasn’t been easy, there have been a few hard patches, but I know that the true living God loves me as I am and intercedes for me when I am weak. I pray Lindsay could experience the same true personal love of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus meets us where we are because He loves us unconditionally.

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posted July 25, 2007 at 3:17 pm

I hate what we do to young, talented entertainers in this country. We suck the life out of them, expect them to live in bizarre, fake environments where they never get a chance to figure out what their soul’s desitny is. Their parents and families fail to protect and care for them, miserably. Their managers and handlers work their weaknesses to their financial benefit. They are on camera 24/7, never allowed the time to reflect, to become educated, to become grounded enough to withstand the pressures on the psyche of fame.
And then we wonder why they are committing walking suicide as soon as they hit young adulthood.

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posted July 25, 2007 at 6:13 pm

I couldn’t agree more with your comment. When I think about Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohan among others, I can’t help but fill a pang of personal responsibility, as a member of the celebrity-fetish culture.
Do you (or anyone out there) have any realistic solutions to the problem? Seems to me that our obsession with celebrity is a nasty symptom of dis-ease in society, and the more we improve mental health in this country, the less we will obsess over the beautiful, rich, and famous.
Great post.
The Buddha Diaries

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Joshua Brunken

posted July 26, 2007 at 2:10 pm

I am praying for Lindsay Lohan cause only Jesus can truly help her fill the emptyness in her heart.
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be
saved (Romans 10:13)

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posted October 15, 2008 at 3:35 pm

i am from Brazil. Jesus and the only hope for any nation, what a shame that many perceive this only at the end of their lives, but the salvation. God does not want to know how it was his past he wants to change its present and erase his past and throw their sins into the sea of oblivion. he should come to you as you are he loves you and calls you do not criticize you but love you very much. Even though his own mother to forget you in the womb of her. God will never forget you, because he recorded his name in the palm of his hand.

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