J Walking

J Walking


Christian Porn?

posted by J-Walking

A staggering item this morning:

In a poll of 1,000 respondents, 50 percent of Christian men and 20 percent of Christian women were found to be addicted to pornography. Conducted by ChristaNet.com, a popular Christian marketplace website, the poll asked visitors about their personal sexual conduct.

Realizing that web polls aren’t as representative as phone polls, this is still an extraordinary finding. Half of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women were found to be addicted to pornography. Addicted. We’re not talking mildly interested or occasionally participating, we’re talking addicted.

What to make of it? Perhaps what many have said before – that today’s Gospel message preached by today’s churches is so watered down as to be largely inconsequential…”if it feels good do it” wrapped in Biblical passages. But perhaps it is something else – the inability of Christian churches to develop an open environment for talking about sexual issues. This is truly staggering stuff.



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Alicia

posted June 6, 2007 at 8:08 pm


Thank you, David, and thanks for the opportunity to comment here. Perhaps the conventional wisdom that forbidding something only makes it more attractive, and that sexual repression and hypocrisy go hand in hand is true.Having encountered just enough pornography in my life to realize how boring, repetive, and unsexy it is, I have absolutely no interest in it. I’ve also read recently that many of the young Christians who have taken the “abstinence pledge” took it with their fingers crossed, apparently.Personally, I would like to less emphasis on “sexual purity” and more emphasis, from both conservative and liberal Christians, on resisting the commodification of human sexuality and resisting the ways in which our culture pushes young people to become sexually active prematurely.It is not necessary to believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong to believe that young teens and pre-teens should have their innocence protected for as long as possible, and should be given the tools to enable them to resist “going along to get along” with their more sexually active peers.



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reddopto

posted June 6, 2007 at 8:35 pm


I’ve noticed some troubling trends in my area in getting Christians to help out in real Christian work. Basically, they won’t do it. They claim they are busy with family matters, but they are supposed to to have a priority for Christian good works aren’t they? Modern Christians are portrayed by non-believers as being over zealous fanatics, but quite the opposite is often the truth. Still, these statistics you’ve mentioned are very troubling. And, many of the surveys performed by Barna Research have indicated a high degree of dry rot within the Christian community. One example was that only 4% of Americans actually practice biblical Christianity. Among evangelical Christians, the figure was only about 9%. The spirit filled person should be repulsed by pornography. If you are hooked on pornography, you are not spirit filled, and not even in a state of grace.



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PatientWitness

posted June 6, 2007 at 9:20 pm


Well said, Alicia. I would also raise the point that for generations, indeed since the dawn of man, people were expected to marry and have kids by the time they reached their late teens or early twenties. Our bodies reach their peaks then before starting their long, slow (hopefully) decline. It’s only in recent history that young people have been expected to wait, advance their education, get a good job, and so on, before marrying. reddopto makes some good points but then tosses a large wet blanket. Men who like to watch the female form have lost their state of grace? Who among us…? Women who admire the bare chest of Hollywood actors are doomed to perdition? Are we not hard-wired for just such eye-catching attractions? There may be some oversimplification here as well. I’d like to see the polsters’ definition of porn, which for some would include a picture of Brittney’s cleavage on the cover of People magazine. I’d also like to see their definition of addiction. I do not doubt that there are problem cases. I do, however, believe that all too often, when it comes to the topic of sex, that mountains are made of molehills (no innuendo intended). I also agree that churches should take a greater role in advancing these topics once considered unfit. The Song of Solomon should be required reading, especially in pre-marriage counseling. And then, if the husband and wife are in agreement, what they do or watch is none of our business.



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Doug

posted June 6, 2007 at 10:00 pm


What is especially fascinating about this result is that since all Christian men lie about their moral performance, it’s actually the other 50% of us who are addicted. I wouldn’t read too much about society’s messages into this. The truth is we, Christians and non-Christians, have impulses and act on them just as we always have. The sanctimonious are just more than the saintly. Does seem like a lot, though.



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Jillian

posted June 7, 2007 at 1:51 am


Intensified puritanism has always been accompanied by increases in hypocrisy. It’s not really more complicated than that.



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Paul

posted June 7, 2007 at 4:05 am


The source for this data (www.christanet.com) is dodgy in the extreme. It looks like they’re angling for free publicity – and getting it!



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bdb7098

posted June 7, 2007 at 12:51 pm


Both the 50% and 20% seem high though I’m more inclined to believe the 50 than the 20. Sticking up for my church and pastor, he preached a sermon on pornography earlier in the year and is currently doing a series called, “Sex in the Suburbs”. On Sunday morning no less. Excellent stuff that you can podcast as well. I think this indicates, even if the numbers are inflated, that it is a huge problem within the Christian community which has always been more concerned with what people believe or say they believe rather than what their actions are.



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liz

posted June 7, 2007 at 3:48 pm


The problem is that too many Christians have internalized the belief that if it doesn’t happen in public and if no one officially finds out about it, IT NEVER HAPPENED. This allows us to pretend that those girls we or our children went to high school with, the ones who were our middle/upper class, morally upright classmates and friends never had sex, never got pregnant and certainly never took “vacations” at odd times to go and visit their aunt (a.k.a. have and abortion).We can vent against those homosexuals who are destroying marriage and the traditional family while those like Rev. Haggard are out on the down low. We can talk about how immoral the rest of the world is and how people like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton setting unacceptable slutty examples for our daughter while we are spend so much of our time and $$$$ watching porn in the privacy of whatever. The charges for this stuff that show up on our credit cards sound so innocuous that we can fool ourselves into forgetting what we are paying for. tags, etc., etc. We can then go to our houses of worship on Sunday and be such good Christians. Ignorance and hypocrisy can be such bliss.



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Chuck Cosimano

posted June 7, 2007 at 4:49 pm


Sounds like there might be a good market for Christian Porn out there.>



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liz

posted June 7, 2007 at 5:14 pm


God knows who you really are when you are in church praising him. “He” also knows who you are when you are watching porn in your home office with the doors locked.>



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canucklehead

posted June 7, 2007 at 6:14 pm


Chuck – can I be PrayMate of the month?>



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PatientWitness

posted June 7, 2007 at 7:05 pm


Christian porn? I would buy it, but only for the articles….>



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gobucs40

posted June 7, 2007 at 9:06 pm


I think the most you can say about the data itself is that there is a lot of porn out there and a lot of people looking at it. The comments below about the exact population surveyed and the definitions of pornography are on point. What is substantively lacking in this whole area is the church’s failure to embrace sexuality and help those of us in the pew to understand the sacredness of sex, desire, fantasy, and pleasure. Until we help each other internalize and own our own sexuality, porn will have an extravagently large audience.
I grow weary of my Christian brothers and sisters who get so distracted by porn that they miss the sexual/theological issues behind why we look at it.



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a sinner

posted June 7, 2007 at 9:10 pm


I’m masking my name for what will become obvious reasons…I’m an adult convert to Christianity, and I struggled with an attraction to porn (after my conversion) for a couple of years. I knew it was spiritually damaging to me (and far more damaging to those involved, the (ahem) “actors,” of course) but somehow lacked the internal willpower to stop. I think one vital thing Protestant Christianity lost, when it jettisoned the entire apparatus of the Church (except for her Scriptures), is the sense of the sacramentality of confessing one’s sins. I say this because now that I go to Confession regularly, and have confessed my habit, I have been far more able to resist and have been “clean” for some time. I don’t know if it’s just knowing that if I give in I have to confess it again, or if it’s something deeper (personally I’m inclined to think the latter). Either way, for me anyway, just knowing it was wrong was nowhere near enough. I’m glad someone’s preaching about it, but I really wonder if a lot of guys will take it to heart. That’s still not as powerful as stripping away all pretense and openly confessing our failure before another human being, and before God. As for the ChristiaNet site, it looks like the sort of place that understands that just adding the adjective “Christian” to any product gives you a built-in market. “Christian Lasik?” “Christian acne treatment?” You can’t make stuff like that up…>



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anonymous

posted June 7, 2007 at 10:36 pm


What a Christian website considers an “addiction” to pornography may well be different from the clinical defition of addiction.>



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Mandy

posted June 7, 2007 at 10:56 pm


I think psychological help would be the best way to overcome these addictions. I’ve met so many fundamentalists who are actually against Psychology. They think their moral approach will cure them and it doesn’t! Guilt, shame and secrecy aren’t going to really change anything. Getting it out in the open and getting some good strategies for coping with this problem is a much more effective way to deal with this. I would recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. Find a psychologist who specializes in it, its a great way to overcome negative patterns in your life. Sexual urges are natural, theres really no shame in them at all. If you are obsessed with sex at an unhealthy level, get psychological help. Trying to keep this dark secret is just going to keep you in chains to it. Perhaps in the Fundamentalist community its considered shameful to have a sex drive, but the rest of the world understands it a part of being human.>



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Mandy

posted June 7, 2007 at 11:05 pm


I have to add one more thing to what I said above. Going to your pastor about a porn addiction, will probably not cure you. It might be one aspect of your healing (accountability,if you have a very compassionate pastor), but I think that it could also intensify the shame involved. Most Pastors arent trained Psychologists, and when they try to step into that role they can do so much damage. Beware of pastors trying to do psychological counseling, ive seen some horrible damage done.>



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canucklehead

posted June 8, 2007 at 12:53 pm


PW – which issue of People was that?



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David

posted June 12, 2007 at 1:46 am


I didn’t realize how big a problem it was until my church had a “men only” Bible study that focused exclusively on pornography and how to fight it. I was literally shocked at how many men showed up. I also found that men are looking for competent blogs that address men’s issues, not just pornography, but all areas of Christian life. I’ve recently started my own blog. Check it out at confidently-christian.blogspot.com
I enjoy your posts here. Keep up the good work!
Blessings….



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Tony

posted June 21, 2007 at 2:06 am


Thanks for the opportunity to write some thoughts. I have struggled with pornography off and on since I was about 12. In the past few years I have experienced some great time of freedom but I am not (sinless) as if I will ever be before I am with Christ. I am now 38 and I have learned many things in my struggle. I am not as strong as I thought I was, I am alot worse than I think I am, and GOD’s Grace is alot greater than I could ever imagine. I have a beautiful wife and a 2 yr. old daughter. My heart is broken over my sin and I have other Christian brothers with whom I am accountable to in this area. We confess our sins and pray for each other. I believe that God does not leave us (or take His Spirit from us) because we sin. I do believe that we need to honestly turn from our sin and run to Jesus. This is the ONLY way to grow in faith and obedience. The only cure for addiction to pornography is brokeness, confession and repentance. Interestingly enough, we can’t “DO” any of these in our own strength, they are all gifts from God. The aforementioned stats don’t suprise me in the least. Until we realize how “bankrupt” we really are in our suburban(Jesus came to make us fat, happy and comfortable) spirituality, we will never cease being addicted to the next thing the world, flesh and/or the Devil send our way. Run to Jesus, He is the answer!



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Zand Me

posted December 7, 2007 at 12:42 am


My brother was introduced to porn by the neighbor kid at age 8. Over 20 years later it hurts him and his marriage- and he has tried to get free. I agree that the real issue is the church’s failure to explain the worship and spiritual aspects of sexuality in the congregational setting. I am so glad to have some sources to share with him, and good stats to help “wake up” the leaders who can make a difference in my local congregation. Here are some things I have shared:
According to the XXX church: The porn industry is a $97 BILLION industry- larger than the revenues of Microsoft, Google, Amazon, Ebay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix, and Earthlink combined.11,000 porn video titles were released last year in Hollywood verses 400 movie releases from Hollywood. One-quarter of total daily search engine requests are for pornographic material (68 million), where 40 million Americans are regular visitors. 70% of American hits on Internet sex sites occur between 9-5 on business computers. The largest porn viewing age group in the U.S. is ages 12-17!
(their website for more info is: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/219129/the_internets_1_christian_porn_site.html?page=2
I also would recommend a short video about why porn is not “just a piece of paper, or a picture on a screen….” it’s a great way to begin sharing info with people (men and women) who may be having a problem, and not really in touch with why it is destructive. Check out David Eckman on porn. http://iquestions.com/video/view/392?over18=1



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anonymous

posted June 6, 2008 at 11:21 pm


I am the wife of a porn addict. I am unable to fully describe the way this hurts me and tears me apart. My heart and my mind are sometimes separated. I am unable to understand why? My self-esteem is destroyed. I cannot trust him, I am ashamed and I hate myself for still being in love with him. Why leave your wife ready and willing to fulfill your needs to be with a computer screen and yourself? I feel betrayed by my body for wanting him and because of my love for God and my husband and my children revenge is not an option. It would not satisfy anyway cause it wouldn’t give me what I want, HIM.



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HURTBEYONDBELIEF

posted January 6, 2009 at 8:24 pm


I am a 27 year old christian wed for 7 months (yep thats all) to a man who I thought was more of a Christian and good man than he is. Tonight by accident I found that he has been looking at porn sits pics for months all while I am sleeping (we work opposite shifts). I am soooo upset and angry i want to throw his computer out the window. Lastnight i was cuddling and comming on to him and he said no honey I’m just not feeling sexual lately. This has been going on for a while and he actually tried blaming it on me. Well now I realize that not only was he lying to me he was watching all this sick stuff when he will barely touch my body at all. I am hurt and destroyed beyond belief. I am ashamed. Can’t wait for him to get home tonight. Please keep us in your prayers we are gonna need it.



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Tommy

posted February 27, 2012 at 7:56 pm


The dangers of Porn!

1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers, nor homosexuals,
1Co 6:10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Today we are seeing a vast array of professing Christians and ministries who treat sin that will lead to death as a calamity and not a crime against God. Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he also will reap.
Gal 6:8 For he sowing to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he sowing to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit.
I can confess from being in bondage to this sin for over 30 years, what I needed to do to put it to death. Most in the Christian circles will tell you its a disease, its in your nature, or you were born a sinner and will not be able to put it to death once and for all. The pastors would tell me its ok, we all fall short, try not to do it again, and all your sins are forgiven, past, present, and future!
This gave me some comfort, as I joined other men, married and single, who were in the same boat I was in, falling continuously to porn and lust, but again I was good with God, because at least I confessed I do it, and am seeking help from those who know more than me!
But I knew something was amiss in the church system, and could not figure out what these verses meant:
The soul who sins shall die! Eze 18-20
Those who sin are of the devil 1 John 3-8
The unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God! 1 Corin 6-10-11
Flee all sexual immorality Rev 21-8
He who does what is right is righteous 1 John 3-7
Stop loving this evil world and its lustful attractions 1 John 2-15-16
To be carnally minded is death Romans 8-6
Be perfect Matt 5-48
And many more scriptures that clearly contradict what is being taught in the liberal churches today, such a Promise Keepers, and those who write the many books to help one who struggles with porn to do it less!
Here in lies the problem, keeping literally millions of men in bondage to this vile sin and their flesh. No one is preaching true biblical repentance from the get go! The whole gospel is backwards, and upside down, where they tell you to just accept, believe, and confess your sins to Jesus, receive Him into your heart, feel sorry for your sins, BUT you will always be a poor sinner saved by grace! God will clean you up later, you will remain defiled, worldly, and double minded, but try not to sin if you can!
Where does it say this in the scriptures? Where are the few who are brave enough to call the sick to repent or perish, as Jesus and John the Baptist did. Luke 13-3.unless you repent, you will all likewise perish!
The sin of porn watching will kill you spiritually, and If you refuse to repent, and seek the mercy of God, 2 Corinthians 7-10-11, and die with Christ, ,Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf. then you will remain in bondage to this vile sin, it must be cut off at the roots! Put to death once and for all in repentance, then you must guard your heart each and every day, count the cost, resist to bloodshed if you have to striving against sins of the flesh, do your part in repentance and all mighty God will do His! James 4:8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners; and purify your hearts, double-minded ones.
Draw near to God, He will give you all the power and strength to remain pure and holy before Him, you cannot serve two masters, you cannot be double minded, full of darkness and guile and lust and possibly think you will inherit eternal life!
Those who forsake their sins will be given mercy, and not grace to continue in sin! remember the grace of God teaches us something!
Tit 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, Tit 2:12 teaching us that having denied ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live discreetly, righteously and godly, in this present world,

Tit 2:13 looking for the blessed hope, and the appearance of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,
Tit 2:14 who gave Himself for us that He might redeem us from all iniquity and purify to Himself a special people, zealous of good works.
You now have a choice to make! Seek first His kingdom and righteousness, or your own and suffer the grave consequences of your choices! Either you kill the sin in repentance, or it will kill you!(spiritually)
Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are clearly revealed, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lustfulness,
Gal 5:20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, fightings, jealousies, angers, rivalries, divisions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 envyings, murders, drunkennesses, revelings, and things like these; of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that they who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Please repent of this sin, and all others that will kill your soul!
Tommy 2-25-12
You believe from your heart. You obey to receive the Holy Spirit (Acts 5:32) He comes into a clean vessel. A heart made pure by faith (obedience) Acts 15:9) you obey and keep obeying, daily, to keep your heart pure and undefiled from the world! (1 Peter 1:22) That’s how it works! Genuine repentance involves humility, brokenness and is a humiliating experience. When the true light of God’s word floods into your soul, you see yourself as you are, in rebellion to God! This is what godly sorrow is all about. Deep regret for your sin’s, a season of sorrow, leading to salvation! (2 Corinthians 7:10) not getting saved in your disobedience and sin’s, but out of them, through true repentance first where the flesh is crucified with Christ, and put to death! (Galatians 2:20) cleansed to receive the Holy Spirit!



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