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Jesus Pictures! (Another ‘I’m with you’ edition)
By
Matthew Paul Turner
“You’re hurting my tree, Joe. I know this because trees sometimes talk to me when you forget to. Rocks, too. Like, right now this tree wants you to stop drilling that hole, Joe. You’re making the tree cry. It wants to know how you’d like it if somebody drilled a hole through your thigh. Oh,…
Jesusless in Seattle?
By
Matthew Paul Turner
Seattle isn’t as Jesusless as I expected it to be… The best part of these clips is my laugh at the end of clip 2.
WHAT THE? Jesus makes the cover of PLAYBOY!
By
Matthew Paul Turner
In Portugal. Not in the U.S. Okay? Now breath… Again, I repeat: Jesus is on the cover of Playboy IN PORTUGAL. I don’t want anybody to hyperventilate or have a heart attack. You can rest easy knowing that America’s Jesus is safe and sound wherever it is you keep him. Okay? Keep breathing. There is…
A third slice of America’s Jesus! (the APOSTROPHE edition!)
By
Matthew Paul Turner
“JESUS” etched into one’s forearm. Ouch. Out of my momma’s womb and then circumcised! Just. Like. Jesus. Way too easy. Died on the cross for my sin’s what? MY SIN’S WHAT? I need to know. Righteous. Possessive much? Seriously, sport’s nut’s what? Even a homo put something belonging to him on the list. (This sign…
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