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Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

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robyn blaikie collins

posted May 2, 2011 at 7:48 pm


let the little soccer players come unto me



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JamesW

posted May 2, 2011 at 7:50 pm


Jesus loves the little children
All the athletic children of the world
white and white and white and white
they are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the developed world



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    Joe

    posted May 2, 2011 at 7:55 pm


    The third verse on is the Southern Baptist version. Its true. Look it up.



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    Stephanie

    posted May 2, 2011 at 8:08 pm


    Hahahahahaha! Love it.



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Steve

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:00 pm


Jesus went to the people. They were to “busy” to come to him.



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RevBT

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:00 pm


Look kids, if you can’t stop fighting I swear I will take this ball and make Sodom and Gomorrah look likes a kids show.



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Jeremy

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:01 pm


“Alright, I’ll KILL a snitch! I’m not saying I have, I’m not saying I haven’t. you know what I mean.”

THank you Payton Manning.



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Brad S

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:01 pm


“I’m gonna show you all that this white man CAN jump.”



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Christopher

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:03 pm


Blessed are those who take it for the team.



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Marty Stubblefield

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:04 pm


The Reason We Play…



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matt

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:05 pm


Let’s rap kids…..have your parents had the sex talk yet?



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Sophia

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:07 pm


Tallest kid says: “Okay, Jesus, it’s not funny anymore…give us our ball back!”
Jesus sings: “I’ve got this whole ball in my hands…”



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Logan

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:07 pm


“Hey kids, watch this. I’m going to feed a bunch of people with this soccer ball.”



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Twirrim

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm


Jesus: No son, not even I can make it ‘bend it like Beckham’



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Crystal

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm


‘This is a technique called ‘sitting on air’ it will strengthen your core and help you all succeed. With my help you can have the victory! Winning!’



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Chase

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:10 pm


Jesus: “Wait, why is the cheerleader here?”



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William

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:10 pm


As the prophet, She-en, said, “Those who come unto me–winning!”



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Derek

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:12 pm


“No, not you Ms. Ashley-the-Cheerleader. Today’s sermon is only for kids who play real sports.”



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Brandon

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:12 pm


“Did I ever tell you guys about the time Peter and I kicked the ball around out on the Sea of Galilee?”



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Ken

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:14 pm


…and that’s why God hates soccer, kids. Any other questions?



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Wes Sharp

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:21 pm


But seriously children, when you graduate from this private Christian school, you’re going to experience what we like to call “culture shock.”



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tiger c

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:32 pm


Jesus played at the Y M C A !!



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Paul

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:36 pm


….and that’s why title 9 is BS…now let’s talk about the lack of a playoff in college football…



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teej

posted May 2, 2011 at 8:53 pm


Ok, the black kids will be here soon with Satan and we can get started, any questions?



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Sean B

posted May 2, 2011 at 9:40 pm


Listen Johnny, you can play for now, but as soon as some black kids show up I’m benching you.



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myclue

posted May 2, 2011 at 9:40 pm


White Jesus loves white people.



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Wezlo

posted May 2, 2011 at 9:47 pm


And that, kids, is why soccer is for girls and impoverished people…



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Matt Kelley

posted May 2, 2011 at 9:58 pm


In heaven, kids, we call this “futboll”



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Michael Craft

posted May 2, 2011 at 10:59 pm


Listen you little white, yuppie brats! This girl is missing an arm, and I’m giving the game ball to her!



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erika

posted May 2, 2011 at 11:28 pm


say it with me kids… “save the cheerleader, save the world”



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Justin

posted May 2, 2011 at 11:32 pm


For crying out loud #32, take off the uniform already. The Kingdom of God needs waterboys too.



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Chad Estes

posted May 2, 2011 at 11:33 pm


“Kids, this soccer ball is a tool of the Devil. I created you with arms for a reason. Find a sport that uses them to glorify me.”



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Tom

posted May 2, 2011 at 11:34 pm


Kids…you really need to get on the same page with the same sport if you’re ever gonna win a game this year.



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Beck

posted May 2, 2011 at 11:34 pm


Cleat chaser.



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NWE

posted May 3, 2011 at 7:04 am


“Suffer the little children, as long as you’re jocks”



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