Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR


Star Spangled Fish

Do you want to proclaim our nation’s righteous heritage?!

Of course you do. Who doesn’t? Well, now you can! And it’s really easy to do!!! No former experience with explosives is required. How’s that for Good News?

All you have to do is head on over to USAFish.com and purchase yourself one of their amazing Star Spangled Fishies.

Now before you get all critical and anti-capitalistic (and not to mention, reveal your hatred for God and toward our American soldiers), you need to stop and consider all of the really amazing Amerigelical messages that this one little red, white, and blue fish decal will reveal to those who have the pleasure of sitting behind you in at traffic lights. Because this little durable plastic sea creature spreads a lot more than just America’s holy righteous heritage! According to the folks at USAFish.com–whose motto is OLD GLORY for HIS GLORY (I’m not kidding.)–this fish does A LOT more.

But wait… there’s more!

The Star-Spangled Fish™ is inspired by the Christian values that uphold our great nation.  The emblem is a symbolic reminder of the sacrifice Jesus made to free us from the bondage of sin and of the sacrifices made by all the brave patriots who have kept the USA free from tyranny and oppression.

So see? The Star Spangled Fish really is more than just another Jesus Fish decal or Truth-eating-Darwin Fish decal! When you stick this little fish on your minivan, you’re not only telling people that you LOVE AMERICA and that you SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, you’re telling people that you TiVo The Glenn Beck Show and that you’re still convinced there were are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and that you still don’t think President Obama was born in America.

And who doesn’t want to spread that sort of patriotic cheer?!

So let me hear you shout…

Amen! Praise the Lord! God bless FoxNews.com!

So who’s gonna buy a Star Spangled Fish?! It’s only $9.95 plus shipping.

Sent to me by Hugh.



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Comments read comments(41)
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LRA

posted January 29, 2011 at 2:12 pm


Good grief! There *would* be a Texas flag in their advertisements.

Arrg! And we were the state that elected Ann Richards governor. What happened to those days?



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    JamesW

    posted January 29, 2011 at 3:06 pm


    Ready for a shock? I voted for Ann Richards.



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      LRA

      posted January 29, 2011 at 8:04 pm


      LOL! And now I will retire to my fainting couch.
      :P



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        JamesW

        posted January 29, 2011 at 10:20 pm


        Yep. I voted for Dukakis in ’88 then Richards in ’90, then took a Right turn by the ’92 election. If somehow Palin is the R candidate in ’12, I may have to find another party. :)



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          LRA

          posted January 29, 2011 at 10:34 pm


          Shhh! Do not speak the name of she-who-must-not-be-named!!!

          (Hahaha!)



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          Matthew Paul Turner

          posted January 29, 2011 at 10:44 pm


          You were one of the 78 people who voted for Dukakis? Wow. That’s awesome!
          :)



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          LRA

          posted January 29, 2011 at 10:49 pm


          MPT, I was only in 9th grade then, so of course, I didn’t vote for Dukakis.
          ;)



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          LRA

          posted January 29, 2011 at 10:52 pm


          Wait, wait, wait! Wait just one cotton pickin’ moment. Was Dukakis the candidate who had as a sidekick Geraldine Ferraro of Tomarrow???



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          LRA

          posted January 29, 2011 at 10:53 pm


          Tomorrow?



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          LRA

          posted January 29, 2011 at 11:12 pm


          Ok Tomarrow, but you know what I mean. That’s how she said it.



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          Matthew Paul Turner

          posted January 29, 2011 at 11:35 pm


          Yep! Geraldine was legendary…



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          JamesW

          posted January 30, 2011 at 9:52 pm


          No, Ferraro ran with Mondale against Reagan in ’84.



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          Matthew Paul Turner

          posted January 29, 2011 at 11:35 pm


          I was in 9th grade, too! Class of 1991?

          Can you believe it’s been 20 years? Actually, I can. It feels like 20 years.

          Hahaha



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          LRA

          posted January 29, 2011 at 11:47 pm


          I was class of 1992… oh the memories! Amy Grant’s “Heart in Motion”, Kathi Troccoli’s “Everything Changes”, and of course, Guns and Roses!



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          LRA

          posted January 30, 2011 at 12:03 am


          I was class of 1992, and I graduated at age 17… are you sure you were in 9th, too? Maybe I’m misremembering the campaign (spring) versus the election (fall)?

          Wait no!

          I was in 8th grade during the campaign because I remember the English and history teachers I had talking about the first woman vice presidential candidate (who she-who-must-not-be-named would follow all these years later!) So, the election must have been the following November when I was in 9th grade, which was the election of Gee Bush Sr, right? And he was prez from 1988 to 1992, and then it was Clinton, right? Am I remembering that correctly?

          Anyhoo- Dukakis/ Ferarro lost big time. That’s what I remember. And also, Gee Bush puked on some East Asian leader…



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          Dianna

          posted January 30, 2011 at 3:24 am


          All of you make me feel very young. My election memories from 9th grade are the Bush-Gore-Florida debacle, and me being the ONLY student in my Civics class who had any idea what was going on. :|



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          LRA

          posted January 30, 2011 at 7:17 am


          The other day, I was talking to a classmate and I said, “When I started college, we didn’t have the internet,” and he said to me, “You’re old!”

          LOL!



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          Deb94

          posted January 30, 2011 at 7:27 am


          You’re all making me feel old. I was in 10th grade when Reagan was elected.



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          HolyRollerNovocaine

          posted January 30, 2011 at 8:39 am


          I was in 11th grade when Reagan got elected



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          LRA

          posted January 30, 2011 at 10:27 am


          I think I was in first grade when Reagan was shot… I was in Mrs. Johnson’s class. Also, I think it was about that time (sooner maybe?) that John Lenon was shot. I remember being sad because my parents had taken me to see “Seargent Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”.

          Isn’t memory amazing? I can remember my first grade teacher’s, but I couldn’t tell you what I ate for lunch two days ago. LOL!



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          Deb94

          posted January 30, 2011 at 11:26 am


          You’re right. John Lennon was December of ’80 (we just had the 30th anniversary) So I’m thinking Reagan was sometime the following year. You have a good memory.



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    noelle

    posted January 30, 2011 at 8:48 am


    Why can’t I get one with a Michigan flag?



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Sierra

posted January 29, 2011 at 2:13 pm


I went to college with a guy who had one of these on his car. Except his said BUSH in it. Seriously.

http://www.bushfish.org/



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    LRA

    posted January 29, 2011 at 2:42 pm


    Yikes!

    “Do you believe God belongs in government?”

    Ummmm, no.



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    Caleb Wilde

    posted January 29, 2011 at 3:39 pm


    That is funny! I like how “Bush” is like 10x bigger than the “One Nation Under God” part. I mean, I knew Bush is bigger than God, I just didn’t know he was 10x bigger.



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      LRA

      posted January 29, 2011 at 8:05 pm


      Bush + fish seems like a bad combo to me.

      (LOL!)



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        Dels In Dallas

        posted January 30, 2011 at 12:21 am


        My first heh of the day. Full o’ win, LRA.



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        noelle

        posted January 30, 2011 at 8:51 am


        We have meds just for that



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Elemenope

posted January 29, 2011 at 2:24 pm


I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Thanks a bunch. :-P



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Diane

posted January 29, 2011 at 2:25 pm


Give me that Fillet o’Fish! Give me that fish!



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    Aran

    posted January 29, 2011 at 8:22 pm


    oh my GOODNESS if there was a “jesus fish” but said Fillet-O-Fish” I’d buy it in a heartbeat!



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Carole Turner

posted January 29, 2011 at 4:04 pm


Gag me with a cheesy jingoistic fish!



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Maeve

posted January 29, 2011 at 4:37 pm


Your commentary made my day. Thanks MPT!



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April L.

posted January 29, 2011 at 5:09 pm


Amerigelical–that is the most accurate made-up word I’ve ever heard. I’m totally using it.



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Travis Mamone

posted January 29, 2011 at 5:49 pm


By “our nation’s righteous heritage,” does that include slavery and Manifest Destiny?



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Dianna

posted January 29, 2011 at 8:27 pm


I laughed out loud when I got to: “you’re telling people that you TiVo The Glenn Beck Show and that you’re still convinced there were are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and that you still don’t think President Obama was born in America.”

Ahahahaha.



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Charlie's Church of Christ

posted January 30, 2011 at 1:00 am


would love the irony of someone putting it on Suzuki or some other foreign made car!



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joel k

posted January 30, 2011 at 12:38 pm


During the sermon today, our pastor was talking about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and the way that the Nazis were able to promote a strong nationalistic sense in the German church, and I thought about this post. I am not saying that these are anywhere near that bad, but it goes to show how messed up things can get when we inject nationalism into our religion and religion into our nationalism.



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