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R-RATED SERMON: This preacher hates semen!

So… when again is it over?

Found at Christian Nightmare…



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Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

posted September 23, 2010 at 6:57 pm


whooo. that was kinda hot.



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El Ben

posted September 23, 2010 at 7:02 pm


Um…Wow. I’m just a little horrified.



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    nate

    posted September 23, 2010 at 7:27 pm


    I’d love when pastors don’t crack open a bible at all during sermons or reference any scripture. it makes their rants so meaningful and life giving.. sheesh..



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      Amy

      posted September 23, 2010 at 7:42 pm


      I agree… It is very scary when there is no real BIBLICAL insight during a sermon. Notes are one thing, but to sit on a throne and even pass gas during the “ranting session”. . . people wonder why authentic Christian ministries get a bad rap.



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chad markley

posted September 23, 2010 at 7:53 pm


I thought the only risk to me was bad eyesight and hairy palms! I didn’t know I could contract all these VD’s, get the “shaky, limp hands” and become demon possessed.

This is the kind of solid biblical teaching I love.

I listened to it a second time just to take notes in my quiet time journal.



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Rocco

posted September 23, 2010 at 8:24 pm


Proverbs 23:2

I love how selective people are with sin, the Law, what have you.



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    Favorite_Facade

    posted September 23, 2010 at 8:37 pm


    Seems like another fat person who hasn’t has sex in a long while….



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      Favorite_Facade

      posted September 23, 2010 at 8:38 pm


      oops, that is, “had” sex….



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Mark

posted September 23, 2010 at 8:38 pm


From Song of Solomon:
2:3 As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
5:4 My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.



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    John

    posted September 24, 2010 at 8:51 am


    Mark:

    I really wish you wouldn’t paste selections from my porn collection all over the Internet for just anybody to read. If you’re going to contribute to this conversation, try getting something out of the Bib–

    Oh.

    Never mind.
    ;-)



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      Mark

      posted September 27, 2010 at 9:09 am


      Ezekiel 23:19-20

      19 Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.

      20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.



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Joel

posted September 23, 2010 at 9:06 pm


So, homosexuality is demonic possession?



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    John

    posted September 24, 2010 at 8:57 am


    I have held that position for a long time. I believe demonic possession is the primary cause of a number of this generation’s great moral woes:

    – Socialism
    – The Catholic Church Crisis
    – Our Muslim President
    – Justin Bieber
    – The Success of “Jersey Shore”
    – People who Double-Park
    – Talking Loudly in a Movie Theatre
    ;-)



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Matt @ The Church of No People

posted September 23, 2010 at 9:33 pm


Sooo…is this sort of preaching because this woman was denied proper training as a woman, or proof that the Baptists have it right by denying women the right to preach?



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    Jonathan Chang

    posted September 24, 2010 at 6:22 am


    haha Matt!

    nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com



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    KatR

    posted September 24, 2010 at 7:38 am


    So I’m curious, when you hear a bad male preacher, do you think that he was denied proper training as a man, or do you take it as proof that men shouldn’t be allowed to preach?



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Phil

posted September 24, 2010 at 12:57 am


Is that a pearl necklace she’s wearing?



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Charlie's Church of Christ

posted September 24, 2010 at 1:03 am


does her message apply to any of the people in the audience?



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    Josh

    posted September 24, 2010 at 6:15 am


    If there are any men in the audience, there’s a 95% chance that it applies…



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    Mark

    posted September 24, 2010 at 7:01 am


    No, because about 70% of black children born in the United States are born out of wedlock.
    Look at her congregation; it’s mostly women, probably single unmarried mothers.



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KatR

posted September 24, 2010 at 7:30 am


When is it over? Do you mean the video or some of these comments?



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ttm

posted September 24, 2010 at 8:29 am


Maybe it’s over when the fat lady “sings.” (1:07)



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David Knapp

posted September 24, 2010 at 8:42 am


What scripture was she exegeting because all heard were opinions.



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    John

    posted September 24, 2010 at 8:53 am


    Well, David, as “Jamie the Very Worst Missionary” pointed out in the first comment, it’s pretty clear this preacher “exegeted” around 1:07 into the video.



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John

posted September 24, 2010 at 9:05 am


Last comment, I swear.

But what I actually gathered from this video was that the Devil lives in my partner’s vagina.

Devotional Question: Have any of you other Men of God found Beelzebub lurking betwixt your partner’s knickers (careful with the pronunciation of that one…)?

It’s times like these I ask myself the question… WPWAPU? (What Position Would the Apostle Paul Use?) The Bible has an answer to every question. Time to get out my Sword of Truth!



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Amber

posted September 24, 2010 at 9:51 am


I am SO …so…so puzzled by this. And we wonder why there is so much shame & guilt with a lot of Christians and sex? NONE of that was biblical??



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JenDOC

posted September 24, 2010 at 10:55 am


Why are some talking about how “fat” she is? And it seems to me that the fart sound could have easily been editing.
Theologically, it’s terribly biased and incorrect, but so are many, many other ministers both male and female.
It makes me wonder about the whole Eddie Long issue. I wonder, since he is yet another minister trying to “fix” homosexuals, if those pressing allegations really were coerced or if they are acting in order to shame Long in his view of homosexuality.



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    Mark

    posted September 28, 2010 at 10:09 am


    We pick on her because gluttony is a sin and she is a hypocrite.
    Matthew 7:5 “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
    The leading cause of death in America is from heart distance, most of which is cause by a bad diet.
    Regular sex is probably safer and healthier than spending one’s Sundays at the “Old Country Buffet”



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El Ben

posted September 27, 2010 at 1:57 pm


“You nasty…and you STILL nasty!”

WTH does that even mean?



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mary

posted October 27, 2010 at 12:16 pm


This is why women need to be quiet in church



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