Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR


HOLY WARDROBE MALFUNCTION… (Jesus had man boobs?!)

Thank you, Jordan, for sending this to me…

Your thoughts?

Perhaps a caption?

Maybe some “hate” toward me for using the word “boob” in the same headline as word “Jesus”?



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Jesse Jalapeno

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:37 pm


That is most definitely a man boob…yikes!



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Jonah

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:37 pm


Could you please explain to me the point in this? You’re a Christian, right? How does this create disciples among men?

I like some of your stuff man, but it’s junk like this that turns me off. I just don’t see the point.



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    Matthew Paul Turner

    posted September 22, 2010 at 2:44 pm


    There is no point, Jonah.
    It’s just one post on a blog.
    There are thousands of blogs out there that only write posts with points.
    You should read those blogs.



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      Jonah

      posted September 22, 2010 at 3:14 pm


      If only all of our churches were as pleasant as you are…”if you don’t like it, leave” I wonder how much water you must have poured into your Bible to convince yourself that this is ok.

      Oh well….God bless ya mpt…..off to read my ‘pointed’ posts.



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        Jesse Jalapeno

        posted September 22, 2010 at 3:17 pm


        This blog is not a church…am I right about that? I believe that if we are made in God’s image…God must have a sense of humor…would that also be correct?



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        Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

        posted September 22, 2010 at 3:28 pm


        yes, that’s right. because reading blogs creates disciples. thanks for setting us straight.



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        Matthew Paul Turner

        posted September 22, 2010 at 3:30 pm


        Jonah… lest you forget… we’re talking about a blog post that depicts Jesus with his nipple hanging out of his robe… if you want to get technical and churchy, it was your initial comment that portrayed a pharisaical, deacon-boardish “My way or the highway” mentality… but let’s not get technical and churchy… because again, it’s a post about a picture of Jesus with his nipple hanging out of his robe… I just don’t think it’s worth it, man..
        :)



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    bman

    posted September 22, 2010 at 2:53 pm


    The point is that it’s random stuff like this that we should laugh about, as Christians, to keep us from crying about.

    Don’t you find it a bit strange that this book randomly has Jesus with a peek-a-boob?



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    Johnathan

    posted September 22, 2010 at 2:58 pm


    I don’t like all his stuff either but the beauty of true family is that I don’t have to and I sincerely doubt he expects me to. With all the Westboros and Quran burners out there, sometimes it’s nice to laugh at ourselves a bit instead of going insane and writing blogs with tons of points.



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Aaron

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:38 pm


Jesus looks like a heroine addict. With old “Hulk Hogan” type sag to his man boob.

This is not a flattering picture of Jesus. I bet Jesus was pissed when he got tagged in this photo on Facebook.



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Jesse Jalapeno

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:39 pm


Caption: “My nipple proves that I was born a human’s birth. Adam and Eve did not have nipples.” -Jesus



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    Aaron

    posted September 22, 2010 at 2:50 pm


    Eve had to have nipples. Either that or Able, Cain, Seth, the rest of the kids breast fed via skin straws.



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      Mark

      posted September 22, 2010 at 2:58 pm


      I expect that he got confused about Adam and Eve’s possibly lacking belly buttons. I don’t see why they wouldn’t have nipples either.



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        Jesse Jalapeno

        posted September 22, 2010 at 3:21 pm


        Yeah…that wasn’t thought completely through…fail.



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Chuck

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:39 pm


Use “moob”. Only funny to people it won’t piss off.



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    John Ferguson

    posted September 22, 2010 at 4:59 pm


    you beat me to it!



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The Crescat

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:39 pm


actually, it’s not a man boob. It’s the wound in the side of Christ.



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Jena

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:41 pm


Man boob aside, how about the fact that Jesus is carrying around a leather bound book, with what looks like brass clasps? Since when did the first century have that kind of technology? Who knew!



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    John Ferguson

    posted September 22, 2010 at 5:04 pm


    Maybe there’s a bit of artistic license going on, but isn’t the sealed book stuff supposed to be from Revelation?



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      Jena

      posted September 22, 2010 at 6:04 pm


      I was just joking, but yes there is some about “breaking the seal” in Revelation, but this book seems to be about the book of Mark, which was written several years prior to Revelation and by a different author (as much as we can tell). So I still don’t understand the use of this picture for this commentary on Mark (at least I assume that’s what that is.)

      Either way, the man boob is hilarious :)



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Vonster

posted September 22, 2010 at 2:53 pm


Why do some Christians insist that being a humor defuser is a spiritual gift they have to exercise?

You could pose the same question for almost anything:

“You’re a Christian, right? How does eating Dorito’s create disciples among men?”
“You’re a Christian, right? How does laughing at a drunk squirrel create disciples among men?”
“You’re a Christian, right? How does making fake fart sounds create disciples among men?”

Life is a balance. I doubt every waking moment of your life can all be attributed to “creating disciples among men.”

Lighten up. We’re created in his image, that includes humor and man boobs.



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    Chad

    posted September 22, 2010 at 3:46 pm


    I was thinking the exact same thing.



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Seth

posted September 22, 2010 at 3:09 pm


Jesus is alive. Maybe this picture depict him at a time when there were leather-bound books with brass clasps?



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nazani14

posted September 22, 2010 at 3:15 pm


First, are we sure this is Jesus, and not Mark with stigmata? Mark would be carrying his gospel, not sure about the rest of his symbolic attributes. Flemish and other Northern Renaissance painters showed saints as flawed ordinary humans, instead of as Italian Stallions. Maybe the artist accurately depicted the sagging of flesh wasted away through asceticism, or maybe he was trying to make a point about the nurturing nature of faith. At the time, women’s garments had slits in them for breast-feeding. http://lh6.ggpht.com/_7XzHD7ED9rs/RgquHsENobI/AAAAAAAAADU/b1G5k249hsI/amadona25.jpg
My pick for grossest Jesus is The Isenheim Altarpiece, by Matthias Grünewald. It was supposedly painted for a monastery where lepers were cared for, hence the lesions.



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    Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

    posted September 22, 2010 at 3:31 pm


    this is crazy. you’re like a Jesus art nerd. i love this, i seriously love it!



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      nazani14

      posted September 23, 2010 at 7:46 am


      There’s a whole wacky world of Christian iconography out there waiting for you. You’ll find that stories and symbols from the Apocrypha were also depicted, right up through the 17th century.



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    Jesse

    posted September 22, 2010 at 3:47 pm


    Is this an art history degree actually being put to use? Splendid!



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    nazani14

    posted September 22, 2010 at 4:04 pm


    Maybe this has some bearing on it?”
    “A young man on a time had a cancer in his breast, and worms ate it which were come of rotting, and as he was thus tormented he prayed with good heart to S. Mark, and required him of help and aid, and after, he slept. And that same time appeared to him S. Mark in form of a pilgrim..” Shortly after this episode, Mark’s body was hijacked to Venice- do I see there’s a ship behind his hand?
    http://www.catholic-saints.net/saints/st-mark.php
    If anyone has Harrington’s book, please flip it open and see who the artist was, and what larger painting this is part of. Now I’m curious.



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Laura

posted September 22, 2010 at 3:49 pm


Hey I think this is funny. Not sure why anyone is getting bent out of shape over it. Why is it ok to laugh at things on tv or a stand up comedian, but you can’t laugh at a silly picture of Jesus. This Jonah dude is acting like this is an actual photograph of Jesus and that we are making fun of his choice of clothes.

The Jesus I worship and love would think this was funny. Just saying.



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Preston

posted September 22, 2010 at 3:59 pm


I am curious why Jesus’ nipple was so far off to the side. Personally mine are not near that close to the side. Is there a theological reason why Jesus, a perfect man, had his nipples clear off to the side and we, sinners, have nipples closer to the middle? Maybe I just have weird nipples?



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Jordan

posted September 22, 2010 at 5:21 pm


Matthew, apparently you have readers who take themselves VERY seriously. Religion is a serious business to be in.

Thankfully Jesus(hopefully not the guy in the picture) came to destroy all that and show us just how ridiculous we really are.



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Phil

posted September 22, 2010 at 8:00 pm


LOL – Moob



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Brypie

posted September 23, 2010 at 3:49 am


Jesus looks quite anemic here too…



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Brypie

posted September 23, 2010 at 3:53 am


Can i just say you are one dude that reminds that christianity isn’t all about guilt.



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mary

posted October 27, 2010 at 12:31 pm


His robe looks very much like a nursing gown I had 28 years ago when I nursed my first child. He looks pretty tired and worn out. I think I looked pretty similar aside from the 5 o’clock shadow and bleeding palm. I had nicer breasts too.



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