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Jesus Needs New PR

A BLOG POST: My Favorite Part of a Wedding

I just returned this morning from Milwaukee.

Jessica‘s sister, Melissa, was married this weekend. My sister-in-law’s wedding went beautifully.

Elias ran down the aisle when he was supposed to…

Elias running in...


And then three minutes later, he ran right back up the aisle…

Elias running out...

Melissa looked absolutely beautiful.

Dan, Melissa’s husband, handled the day with humor and grace.

And Jessica, the matron of honor, looked gorgeous.

And me? Well, I sang, and for the most part, hit all of my notes. And at least twelve people asked me why I didn’t have a record deal… I even got an offer from one of Jessica’s relatives to start a band.


Daddy and Elias after braving the dance floor...

Since getting married nearly six years ago, anytime I attend a wedding, I always end up thinking about Jessica and my wedding day. It was a perfect day. Jessica looked like she should have been on the cover of a wedding magazine. I was fat on Zoloft back then, but still, cleaned up nicely. Our wedding service was uniquely “us,” a sometimes sickening mixture of classic, popular, and sappy. But “us.”


And then the reception… food, dancing, champagne, kind words, and of course, a table of scrapbooks detailing the history of Jessica and my relationship… and again, all of that was perfect and good and meant so much…

Then, at some point during the reception, it hit me…. I remembered something that Jessica had said in the weeks leading up to that day. She and I had been arguing–not really arguing–discussing the finances of our wedding.

I said something like, “You don’t think it’s going to be pretentious, do you? I don’t want it to be pretentious.”

And then she said, “No. Not at all. Because I don’t think our wedding day is about ‘us’ as much as it is a ‘celebration’ of all the people who make us ‘us’.”


And THAT’S what our special day was for Jessica and me… a celebration of the most important people in our lives.

As I took a moment to take in the scene of our reception, I looked around that room and realized that nearly every person that Jessica and I loved in that moment was in that room…

The people–friends and family–we cared about.

The people who had raised us.

Shaped us.

Moved us.

Cried with us.

Prayed for us.

Taught us something true.

The people we needed (and still need)…

They were there. (Most of them anyway… )

And THAT overwhelmed me. Because how often does that happen? A gathering of the most important people in one’s life? In one room. Happy. Smelling good. Dancing…


That was a powerful moment for me. A moment that I consider and relive and value every time I go to a wedding.

(And then there’s that first picture of Elias-above with Buzz Lightyear-that’s pretty darn amazing, too…)

Elias... partied out...

As odd as this might seem… weddings are good reminders for me… that it’s not all about ‘us.’

Comments read comments(12)
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Kyle Reed

posted September 20, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Great reminder. Very true

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posted September 20, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Brilliant, dude. I’ve found the same thing to have been true of my wedding.

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posted September 20, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Yeah, what he said.

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posted September 20, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Awesome. Loved reading this!

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posted September 20, 2010 at 12:53 pm

You could not have put it more perfectly!

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posted September 20, 2010 at 1:37 pm

love this.

when i used to dream of my wedding, i never had a vision of the wedding itself at all. what i missed is that moment to have everyone in a room… eating, drinking, laughing, telling stories, dancing… seeing all the people i love, meeting and loving each other.

they just had that at my dad’s funeral. that’s what everyone tells me about… the celebration with each other for him. he would have loved it. i won’t get the wedding reception, i didn’t even get my dad’s funeral, but i do hope that’s what my funeral is someday. not to sound morbid or anything :)

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posted September 20, 2010 at 11:22 pm

Is Elias rocking some crocs at a wedding?! Epic photos btw – hurry up and start a photography gig on the side!

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posted September 21, 2010 at 6:11 am

Hahahaha, I think being an ESL teacher has forever corrupted certain things for me. For the final report in my debate class last semester, I had the students write cases for different resolutions, and the one that 90% of the class chose was “It is better to be married than single.” One of my students – a particularly bright young man named Kiichi who doesn’t have the best grasp of English – argued that being married is better because married people have more “twinkle future” – more points of celebrations where family is gathered together and celebrating something. So now when I think of weddings and anniversaries, I think of “twinkle futures,” and how surprisingly appropriate that term seems to be – weddings are as much about the future as they are about the present state of the couple. And twinkle, if taken in the widest sense, means basically bright and shiny. So not only is a wedding a great gathering of family, but it is a great looking forward into the future, one that “twinkles” with possibility.

I’m glad you had a great wedding weekend. Weddings are one of the great symbols of the community of the Body of Christ, and I’m glad you got to experience that. :)

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posted September 21, 2010 at 8:06 pm

I loved this…all of it. When we got married well over a decade ago, the only consideration for the reception site was that it would fit everyone most dear in our lives. I don’t remember the food(although people still tell me how fabulous it was); I recall the sounds of all of the voices mixing together and how content it made me. Thanks For the reminder that it’s not about us (and the cute pictures of Elias) 😉

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posted September 23, 2010 at 10:59 am

I think you are missing the most important part of this though. You have mentioned everyone but God. He is most certainly at the center of this. You may have alluded to it, but you missed the mark.

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posted September 27, 2010 at 6:42 am

The two things I remember best about our wedding wasn’t the people but there were a bunch of them, more than I ever expected, but I remember that was when the person I loved in this world more than I can describe became my wife. The second thing was that we sang a duet, “Seal Us, Oh Holy Spirit”. It was a holy union that has grown stronger through the last 49 years. Oh we had our ups and downs but after 49 years it is mostly “ups”. Our downs are when we are hurting for each other as we have to deal with health issues that come with aging. (health issues are temporarily solved but we know at our age more will come.) God and my wife were what our wedding was about. Three weeks later I was pastoring my first church.
Our marriage has not been a perfect one but It is a very blessed union with my soul mate with God in the lead.
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Eccl 4:9-12 NIV) God is our third strand.

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