Jesus Needs New PR

Evangelist Heidi Baker begins her prophecy for Down Under with some cackling.

And then she says “Shaka Baba.”

I think she’s referencing one of the Ewoks by name.

And then she begins–BOO BA–receiving a words–ACKA BOBAH–from God about Australia. These words sound better fitted for certain parts Africa. But Heidi says they’re for Australia, which is convenient since she was in Sydney at the–SHO MACKA–time. It would have been really awkward had God started giving her words been about Thailand or Laos. You–DO RA ME!–know?

And then she sees Revelation 22! And then a–FAKA SHA MO MA–river. And then she sees a bunch of other things…

DAKA RO HAHA BO MANCHEE! And then Prophet Heidi (a lesser known biblical prophet) told the Australian–WALA WALA BING BANG–that God would send them some strange fish. She told them that God’s strange fish will be of all different kinds–Bass? Cod? Catfish? Salmon?–and then she emphasizes God’s desire for the Australians to love his strange fish.

And then she talks about a shift in her body–CHAKA KAHN–Weird.

But I will say this: Heidi is really good at rolling her Rs. She’d be great at speaking Spanish.

Found at Christian Nightmares.

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