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Jesus Needs New PR


Pat Robertson offers AMAZING advice to woman whose husband flirts with other women

Anybody know if/when Pat is planning to retire?

I hope he doesn’t still drive a car.

Found at Christian Nightmares.



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Derrick

posted June 12, 2010 at 10:33 am


Unbelievable…yet not unexpected.



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Aaron Reddin

posted June 12, 2010 at 10:36 am


“let’s go do the other thing”

You’re the shit Pat. No really.



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Brookie

posted June 12, 2010 at 10:41 am


I can’t come up with anything graceful or witty to say. So I’ll say what was running through my mind the whole time and know that you’ll understand me.

Pat, stop being such an ass.



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Laura Cynthia Chambers

posted June 12, 2010 at 10:52 am


Let me answer a video with another video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmkiwrtjXYs



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    Steph

    posted June 12, 2010 at 1:54 pm


    too funny!



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    Joy

    posted June 12, 2010 at 5:00 pm


    That is the perfect retort.



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Rob

posted June 12, 2010 at 10:54 am


Why do people still give this guy money?



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Joe Crenshaw

posted June 12, 2010 at 11:00 am


I don’t agree with his “make yourself look pretty as you can” portion of his response. But the other portion is correct, that’s why men flirt.

Again, folks get too hard on Pat, he says some things, many things that I don’t agree with, but he also says some things that are square biz.



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    Bajanpoet

    posted June 12, 2010 at 7:21 pm


    I agree. I flirt because I’m seeking affirmation too, and I’m not ashamed to say it. And that’s no witty retort. That’s the truth.



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@yshekster

posted June 12, 2010 at 11:03 am


We let this man TALK?! I don’t blame him. I blame the shows and networks that keep inviting him and AFFIRMING his crazy views.



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DK Stangeland

posted June 12, 2010 at 11:13 am


Ok, so here’s my response – as a woman – I don’t think he’s totally off base. I don’t think 1:21 is quite long enough to deal with this, but how many women out there have just let themselves go? You wear your sweats and you pull your hair up in a pony tail because it takes to long to do it and you don’t wear makeup and you expect your hubby not to look at the women who take the time to do this stuff. It’s a pain, believe me I know, but taking pride in yourself and how you look is honoring to your husband. It makes him feel like he’s important enough to do it for. By not doing these things you are communicating “I have you now and you can’t leave, so I’m gonna slack off because you’re not worth getting it together for.” We feel the same way – girls, you know you do – when he doesn’t woo us anymore because we’re married – no cards, no effort to plan dates. Same thing. It’s about honor and respect people. Now don’t go get all crazy on me because I’m no wacko. I’m a totally normal wife and mom, just like you and I know you know what I’m talking about. (if you don’t respect yourself why should he?)



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    @nicolewick

    posted June 12, 2010 at 7:38 pm


    “You wear your sweats and you pull your hair up in a pony tail because it takes to long to do it and you don’t wear makeup and you expect your hubby not to look at the women who take the time to do this stuff” My resonse to your question: Yes, I do.



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    BigEM

    posted June 14, 2010 at 1:35 pm


    How is painting yourself a matter of honor and respect? I have no problem with those who choose to wear makeup. But, other than lipstick or gloss occasionally, I have never worn makeup – not when young and dating and not since. I show honor and respect by how I treat people, not how I dress or try to beautify myself. The fact is – a flirt is a flirt, a liar is a liar, an abuser is an abuser, and a cheat is a cheat. And that’s no one’s fault but the one doing it. To blame someone else for anything you do is wrong. It’s not up to us to change how any man behaves; it’s up to the man himself to behave well.



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Rich p Nifong

posted June 12, 2010 at 11:20 am


I think ponytails are hot



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Ruby Leigh

posted June 12, 2010 at 11:27 am


I totally agree that woman need to keep up the act they had going to woo in the first place, and so SHOULD men…. My fear is that Pat’s response would be different if the gender were flipped.

Also, whether this woman is “looking good” or not is not known, and “looking better” should not be the only or primary thing she does to remedy the problem.



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Corrine

posted June 12, 2010 at 11:36 am


I’ve got to say, I agree with Pat, to a point. People don’t usually shop if they already have what they desire at home. On the other hand, if you are a admirer of beautiful cars, even if you just bought a gorgeous new sports car, you still look at other hot cars. I have a friends who’ve been married almost 30 years. He flirts constantly, but he’d never fool around. She just knows that’s him, and it she puts up with it. She keeps herself pretty, and they always have fun together, so he knows he’s got all he needs at home. But the woman Pat answered needs to sit down with her husband and explain to him that he is hurting her feelings, and tell him to knock it off. You have to take any advice given with a grain of salt. But I do notice the co-hosts cringing a little from time to time on this show, as Terry just did. If my husband was flirting and it bothered me, I don’t think I’d email an 80 year old man for advice.



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Beth L.

posted June 12, 2010 at 12:27 pm


It seems that in “Christian circles”, the blame always somehow ends up back on the women. If men lust after you, it’s because you’re making yourself too sexy. If they flirt with other women, it’s because you’ve “let yourself go.” I look forward to the day when men start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of laying the blame on women.

The need for affirmation is one of the reasons why anyone flirts, male or female. Plenty of men and women still feel the need to get affirmation outside of a marital relationship because they often have personal issues that they have not dealt with. If this woman who write the letter to Pat has indeed let herself go, that’s no excuse for her husband to flirt with other women. He’s a grown man who makes his own choices, if he needs affirmation from his wife that he’s not getting, then tell her like a responsible adult and work out the problem with your wife.



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Jace

posted June 12, 2010 at 2:03 pm


Thats fine and dandy Beth, but that doesn’t change the fact that many times when a woman cheats on her husband, it is because she doesn’t feel loved or appreciated in her relationship. On the same hand, if a man cheats on his wife, it is typically because he doesn’t feel affirmed or respected.

Cheating is wrong regardless, but that doesn’t mean there arent certain things and practices that can be put into place by both or either sides of a relationship the lessen the chances of temptation.

I am not a Pat Robertson fan at all, but I think you you’re forgetting that this woman specifically wrote Pat for advice on THINGS SHE COULD DO to help in this situation. He may not have handled it very suavely, but he answered her question.

It was a rocky start, but the follow through was fairly accurate.



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Beth L.

posted June 12, 2010 at 2:56 pm


We know nothing about this woman. He’s giving her advice that is completely unfounded. He’s making a HUGE assumption to think it’s her fault. He entirely blamed her for her husband’s flirting, and that’s absurd. Of course, it’s Pat Robertson so I’m not sure why that should surprise anyone. Instead of essentially telling her it’s her fault, why not encourage her to be honest with her husband about how she feels and tell her to talk with her husband about why he feels the need to flirt with other women. In a marriage, there may be plenty of ways a spouse might drive the other spouse to seek attention elsewhere, but ultimately it’s the cheater’s fault if they choose to cheat. Be a man or be a woman, and talk to your spouse if you feel you aren’t getting the respect and affirmation you need. Cheating is never excusable.

How to deal with a flirting husband? Look prettier. Great advice from a senile old man.



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Jace

posted June 12, 2010 at 3:50 pm


No, he’s answering her question. She asked “What can I do?” He’s answering it.

She never asked “How to deal with my flirting husband.” She said he flirts, that she’s talked to him about it, he says he’ll never cheat on her, what else can she do?

She isn’t asking the question you think she’s asking.

I really hate that I’m in this position where I’m defending a Pat Robertson soundbyte. Could have been answered more eloquently? Absolutely. Is he completely off his rocker in what he says? Not exactly.



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Jenni

posted June 12, 2010 at 4:33 pm


famous last words…

“he’s NOT gonna cheat on you…”

yet.



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Beth L.

posted June 12, 2010 at 4:34 pm


If she’s talked to her husband and he’s still flirting, then there’s a bigger issue here than just the fact that her husband flirts. A spouse that continues doing something that the other spouse has told them is hurtful, isn’t going to stop no matter how “pretty” the wife makes herself. What can she do? Putting her foot down is a good idea, going Stepford Wife isn’t. Let’s not think that buying more Revlon is going to satisfy her husband’s flirtatious urges. His response is just a more family friendly version of “put out more.”



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Jace

posted June 12, 2010 at 5:53 pm


You’re also focusing on the wrong part of his response. Anyone who takes a serious look at their relationship can tell you that doing something simply because their spouse likes or dislikes something will only take you so far.

I don’t think anyone here is going to defend Pat Robertson telling her to pretty herself up and stop giving him a hard time.

Pat Robertson telling her that her husband is probably lacking affirmation in the home and is seeking it elsewhere is probably a good observation.

Ephesians 5:22-25 does an excellent job of telling a married couple how to cling to each other in a healthy relationships. On average, women desire love and men desire respect. If at anytime during a relationship one of those factors are missing, it creates an unbalance within the marriage.



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old mom

posted June 12, 2010 at 6:45 pm


Let’s see – Muslim fundamentalists seem to believe that women’s bodies are temptation and so they cover them up. Christian fundamentalists seem to believe that women must stay attractive so the guy won’t cheat. Come now. After 32 years of marriage, serious illness in a child that lasted 10 years, going through adolescence with three completely different personalities (all with the same basic DNA) – I say. Get over it. This life is not about sex and temptation – it’s about loving one another through nights when you don’t know if your child will live until morning. It’s about comforting one another when one of you loses a parent. It’s about caring for elderly parents in their last days. It’s about watching your children succeed and fail and helping them stand up again after the failures. It’s about stories and memories and the sure touch of someone who has gone through it all with you. Grow up Pat and anyone else who makes love such a small thing. Pat – by the way – is probably a sociopath who talks about the Lord. I’ve never seen evidence of a conscience in anything he has said. I feel very sorry for his wife.



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Scott Baker

posted June 12, 2010 at 6:53 pm


Are y’all seriously having a serious debate about something Pat said? Seriously? As in, no irony? You’re actually having a serious debate based on what that fool said? He gets a question that should never have been addressed to him, he gives an answer full of assumptions for which he had no basis, and you guys are surprised by what comes out of his mouth and follow it up with a debate that implies anything he might have said merited even moderately serious consideration? Seriously?



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    Beth L.

    posted June 12, 2010 at 7:00 pm


    You’re right, Scott. It almost gives him credibility. No matter what Robertson says, he’ll always have defenders.



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    Matt in Maine

    posted June 15, 2010 at 11:13 am


    I’m tired of the word “seriously?” as in “Really?”



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Uncle Luther

posted June 12, 2010 at 7:03 pm


Is it possible that Pat Robertson is God’s way of punishing us?



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@nicolewick

posted June 12, 2010 at 7:34 pm


Who in hell writes in to Pat Robertson for advice about ANYTHING?! You get what you pay for… or ask for.



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Jesse

posted June 12, 2010 at 7:48 pm


It’s good to know that my fidelity is my wife’s responsibility. Just wait for the day she doesn’t do her hair, and flirt away! Awesome. I hate taking responsibility. Any opportunity to shove it off on someone else is a real gift. Thanks, Pat!



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Crystal Renaud

posted June 12, 2010 at 7:58 pm


Crazy Uncle Pat.
Truly, does anyone really listen to him anymore? God, I hope not.



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    shellie (baylormum)

    posted June 12, 2010 at 8:42 pm


    Well, apparently Matthew does…….



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Gymmie

posted June 12, 2010 at 9:53 pm


I’m sure Sandra Bullock and Halle Berry look beautiful even “in sweats, hair undone and no make up” and that didn’t keep them from being cheated on.

I know there are exceptions but in many cases where I’ve seen the person the man (or woman) cheated on they’re NOT better looking than their spouse. It’s not always about one being prettier than their spouse but something else. Whether they’re not getting what they want in the bedroom, not getting what they need on an intellectual level, or whatever the reason as stated THAT’S what needs to be addressed.



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    DebbieInIllinois

    posted June 13, 2010 at 9:15 am


    Good point Gymmie, That wife of Tiger Woods is a real dog.



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Jeff

posted June 15, 2010 at 11:29 am


So I’ve stewed on this for the last three days. I’m so annoyed by Pat and people like him. To call him sexist isn’t fair, because my wife was told in a women’s Bible study, led by a woman, this exact nonsense. So I’ll just call him ridiculous.

I will write about this tomorrow. Okay, I already wrote it, but it’s posting tomorrow, with a link to the source of my angst: this blog post.



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