Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

AN 1995 EVANGELICAL FLASHBACK: Jurassic Park vs. Jehovah Park

This video brings up some very interesting questions…

1) Was the Cosby sweater still in style in 1995?

2) Who was the first preacher to say, “I don’t know how a brown cow can eat green grass and produce white milk… but it doesn’t keep me from drinking milk” and then use it as an analogy for God?

3) Did you know that Generation X is code for Generation Christ?

Found at Everything Is Terrible…

Comments read comments(18)
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Chris St. John

posted June 4, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Ugh. That is all.

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posted June 4, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Dear Cheesy Youth Pastor,
The internal combustion engine works like so:
Suck (intake), Squeeze (compression), Bang (power), Blow (exhaust), but I’m guessing that didn’t fit in with your illustration so that’s why you couldn’t look it up. >.<

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posted June 4, 2010 at 12:28 pm

a few things:

1)I never thought about how a brown cow could eat green grass and make white milk. This disturbs me and I will now never drink milk again. Also, I am now an atheist.

2)That sweater gives the devil hemorrhoids.

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RevJATB (KnowTea)

posted June 4, 2010 at 12:32 pm

I could not even press Play after 1) seeing the still picture of the guy in the sweater, and 2) reading your description. That alone cheesed me out.

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posted June 4, 2010 at 12:37 pm

I just crapped my pants i was laughing so hard. Weren’t the nineties where youth ministry climaxed? No wonder.

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posted June 4, 2010 at 1:17 pm

I understand how an internal combustion engine works. Does that mean I have divine/otherworldly knowledge?

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posted June 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm


I’m still trying to figure out how that video has anything to do with Jurassic Park or Jehovah Park…

That guy is WAY too excited.

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Adam Kolosik

posted June 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Wow. I think I just through up a little. This saddens and disturbs me as a youth pastor. Glad I never went to his youth group.

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Dana Ellis

posted June 4, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Too many jokes, so little time…

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posted June 4, 2010 at 2:21 pm

that was totally ROCKrageous… “it teaches you the difference between God’s way and Satan’s way, the good way and the bad way, the black way and the white way…”

I guess in 1995 they hadn’t yet realized that calling Satan’s way “the black way” sounds slightly racist.

I also wish that i could get my hands on one of those t-shirts that pokes fun at the tragic circumstances around Kurt Cobain’s death…

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    posted June 4, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    I agree re: the t-shirt, I wouldn’t mind seeing it, although, to be honest, Kurt Cobain was way more transparent then that guy, haha.

    Ahhh, I also know how an internal combustion engine works, I also know the difference between a standard engine, a boxer engine a V6 and a V8, does that mean I also have other worldy knowledge? Gotta love the 90’s – ‘gods generation’ – funny, I hear the youth pastors saying the exact same thing to the young kids at church now.

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RevJATB (KnowTea)

posted June 4, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Josh asks, “Weren’t the nineties where youth ministry climaxed?”

Yes, and apparently they did so all over that guy’s sweater.

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    posted June 4, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    I only wish i had come up with that one first. Brilliant!

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posted June 4, 2010 at 4:45 pm

In 1995, Cosby sweaters would have only been completely out of style if worn with MC Hammer pants.

But, one would have to watch old episodes of “Melrose Place” (**GASP**) to confirm the fashions.

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Rick Nier

posted June 5, 2010 at 11:21 am

If a brown cow has hemorrhoids, what color will our milk be then?

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Carole Turner

posted June 5, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Horrific Cheesy goodness right there.

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posted June 5, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Fast forward to 2010 and you’ll find the Rockrageous has transformed to “Driven Youth Ministries” as part of Living Word Christian Center, headed by Mac “Give ’til it hurts and you’ll find God’s grace” Hammond

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posted June 5, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Interesting video. Thanks for the share :)

Luke 6:38
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

Let that beautiful verse sink in and surf on over to Please click on a link or two when you’re there. It costs nothing and by doing so you’ll be helping a fellow brother out so he can continue helping others.

Please spread the word to other brothers and sisters. Be blessed and thank you :)

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