Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus pictures of the week!

"This was my Christmas card to Americans one year." -Jesus

"So what are we doing today? A trim? Maybe a few highlights... you need a change, girl." -Jesus


"Yeah, like that, but move your head a little closer to my feet. Okay, now scrub. Harder. And don't forget to clean between my toes. Ah. Ah, that feels good." -Jesus

"This is Mark Driscoll's fault." -Jesus


"Let's rip our clothes off and play Marco Polo. What do you say? You in? It'll be fun. Marcoooo. Okay, we don't have to." -Jesus

"So I shave my chest, what's the big deal? Lots of guys do it. You don't want me looking un-kept when I die for the sins of the world, do you?" -Jesus


"Oh, little bluebird, I appreciate the support, but you're in the wrong story! This isn't Cinderella's story... Yes, I know you have sewing skills and bake delicious pies. But I don't have time for pie right now. Besides, Cinderella is expecting you to help with the vacuuming.." -Jesus

"I don't care what the other 99 say--I enjoy hugging, holding, skipping, and playing hide-and-go-seek with you more than any other lamb." -Jesus


"Oh, Jesus. I can't go out with you tomorrow night. We have our Beth Moore Bible study at church." -Girl

Comments read comments(13)
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posted April 9, 2010 at 8:55 am

The caption on the picture with the bluebird did it for me. “This isn’t Cinderella’s story.” LOL.

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posted April 9, 2010 at 8:57 am

Dude…#6 is Ashton Kutcher.


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posted April 9, 2010 at 9:18 am

#2: Also, apparently, he’s a vampire.

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Tracy Dickerson

posted April 9, 2010 at 9:27 am

You are not right! 😉 Suggestion for next week (since Sunday is Holy Humor Sunday when we celebrate “Risus paschalis” – the Easter laugh,when God played a plactical joke on the devil by raising Jesus from the dead- lets see some more laughing Jesuses. That’d be a hoot, kay?

You always make my day…

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Travis Mamone

posted April 9, 2010 at 9:29 am

“No, not you, fat Jesus!”

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posted April 9, 2010 at 10:17 am

Love happy bluebird bleeding scalp Jesus. One for the kids

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Shellie (baylormum)

posted April 9, 2010 at 10:23 am

Your captions really make the picture! I look at them & laugh (most of the time) or shake my head in disbelief. Your captions always bring it home! From fat Jesus to a happy Jesus with a bluebird on his shoulder. Really? Smiling with blood streaming down his face?

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Marc Hardy

posted April 9, 2010 at 11:16 am

#2 also looks like Jesus is giving the girl a nice shoulder rub, as a vampire, after she had a long and difficult day.

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Tracy Dickerson

posted April 9, 2010 at 12:07 pm

one more thing;

Caption for the bluebird pic; “Mistah Bluebird’s on my shouldah..It’s the truth, its actual…everything is satisfactual…Zippady-dooday-zippideay!My oh my what a wonderful day!”

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posted April 9, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Wait – why is Jesus so happy with the Blue Bird of Happiness? That’s all so wrong – who did that art? It’s Mental!

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Barry Hill

posted April 9, 2010 at 8:13 pm

The caption for the 2nd picture with the mirror should read: “…Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, Jesus likes me! …”

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Danielle A.

posted April 10, 2010 at 4:57 am

The “Shaved Chest” Jesus looks a bit like Ashton Kutcher. 😛

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Matt Tibbles

posted April 15, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Barry- that caption had me rolling on the floor laughing!

Also thought the Mark Driscoll one was hillarious!

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