Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus pictures of the week!

"This was my Christmas card to Americans one year." -Jesus

"So what are we doing today? A trim? Maybe a few highlights... you need a change, girl." -Jesus


"Yeah, like that, but move your head a little closer to my feet. Okay, now scrub. Harder. And don't forget to clean between my toes. Ah. Ah, that feels good." -Jesus

"This is Mark Driscoll's fault." -Jesus


"Let's rip our clothes off and play Marco Polo. What do you say? You in? It'll be fun. Marcoooo. Okay, we don't have to." -Jesus

"So I shave my chest, what's the big deal? Lots of guys do it. You don't want me looking un-kept when I die for the sins of the world, do you?" -Jesus


"Oh, little bluebird, I appreciate the support, but you're in the wrong story! This isn't Cinderella's story... Yes, I know you have sewing skills and bake delicious pies. But I don't have time for pie right now. Besides, Cinderella is expecting you to help with the vacuuming.." -Jesus

"I don't care what the other 99 say--I enjoy hugging, holding, skipping, and playing hide-and-go-seek with you more than any other lamb." -Jesus


"Oh, Jesus. I can't go out with you tomorrow night. We have our Beth Moore Bible study at church." -Girl

Comments read comments(13)
post a comment

posted April 9, 2010 at 8:55 am

The caption on the picture with the bluebird did it for me. “This isn’t Cinderella’s story.” LOL.

report abuse


posted April 9, 2010 at 8:57 am

Dude…#6 is Ashton Kutcher.


report abuse


posted April 9, 2010 at 9:18 am

#2: Also, apparently, he’s a vampire.

report abuse

Tracy Dickerson

posted April 9, 2010 at 9:27 am

You are not right! 😉 Suggestion for next week (since Sunday is Holy Humor Sunday when we celebrate “Risus paschalis” – the Easter laugh,when God played a plactical joke on the devil by raising Jesus from the dead- lets see some more laughing Jesuses. That’d be a hoot, kay?

You always make my day…

report abuse

Travis Mamone

posted April 9, 2010 at 9:29 am

“No, not you, fat Jesus!”

report abuse


posted April 9, 2010 at 10:17 am

Love happy bluebird bleeding scalp Jesus. One for the kids

report abuse

Shellie (baylormum)

posted April 9, 2010 at 10:23 am

Your captions really make the picture! I look at them & laugh (most of the time) or shake my head in disbelief. Your captions always bring it home! From fat Jesus to a happy Jesus with a bluebird on his shoulder. Really? Smiling with blood streaming down his face?

report abuse

Marc Hardy

posted April 9, 2010 at 11:16 am

#2 also looks like Jesus is giving the girl a nice shoulder rub, as a vampire, after she had a long and difficult day.

report abuse

Tracy Dickerson

posted April 9, 2010 at 12:07 pm

one more thing;

Caption for the bluebird pic; “Mistah Bluebird’s on my shouldah..It’s the truth, its actual…everything is satisfactual…Zippady-dooday-zippideay!My oh my what a wonderful day!”

report abuse


posted April 9, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Wait – why is Jesus so happy with the Blue Bird of Happiness? That’s all so wrong – who did that art? It’s Mental!

report abuse

Barry Hill

posted April 9, 2010 at 8:13 pm

The caption for the 2nd picture with the mirror should read: “…Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, Jesus likes me! …”

report abuse

Danielle A.

posted April 10, 2010 at 4:57 am

The “Shaved Chest” Jesus looks a bit like Ashton Kutcher. 😛

report abuse

Matt Tibbles

posted April 15, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Barry- that caption had me rolling on the floor laughing!

Also thought the Mark Driscoll one was hillarious!

report abuse

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to and may be used by in accordance with the agreements.

Previous Posts

Hummels quer deixar o Borussia; e Juve mira contratação de Isco
Hummels na mira de Manchester e Liverpool O jornal alemão "Bild" adianta que o zagueiro Mats Hummels não pretende renovar o seu contrato com o Borussia Dortmund e que irá pedir para ser venido no final da temporada.Segundo a imprensa ...

posted 12:24:00pm Nov. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Arsenal quer reforçar ataque, e meio-campo argentino pensa em deixar o PSG
Arsenal pensa novamente em Icardi Segundo o jornal inglês 'The Independent', o Arsenal estão se alinhando para apresentar uma proposta em janeiro para o atacante da Inter de Milão, Mauro Icardi .O jogador de 22 anos de idade teve umas ...

posted 8:32:00pm Nov. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Van Gaal confirma interesse em Ronaldo
O técnico do Manchester United, Louis van Gaal, deu uma indicação mais clara sobre o interesse do clube inglês em trazer Cristiano Ronaldo de volta a Premier League na próxima temporada.Ronaldo deixou o clube para o Real Madrid em 2009, por ...

posted 1:13:00pm Nov. 22, 2015 | read full post »

Chelsea mira mais dois nomes
José Mourinho quer contratar Wesley Sneijder do Galatasaray durante a janela de transferência do mês de janeiro, segundo relata o jornal turco "Fanatik".O treinador português quer reforçar o meio-campo do Chelsea numa tentativa de dar a ...

posted 6:56:00pm Nov. 18, 2015 | read full post »

Inter estuda contratação de Hazard
O jornal 'The Mirror' afirma que a Inter está de olho na contratação da estrela do Chelsea, Eden Hazard , que também é procurado pela Juventus, Real Madrid e PSG.Segundo a edição de hoje do jornal inglês, Roberto Mancini tem acompanhado ...

posted 3:08:00pm Nov. 16, 2015 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.