Beliefnet
Jesus Needs New PR

"Nope. Not today. That water is too darn cold to walk on today." -Jesus

It's okay little airplane. I won't hurt you. I just want to put you in a glass jar and keep you in my bedroom. Don't worry; I'll put holes in the lid. -Jesus thinking


"I use Axe." -Jesus

"I am the way, the truth, and the life... wait, what's that? You can't see my truth? Try taking a couple steps back and see if that helps." -Jesus

"I died on the cross for their sins and how do they thank me? They arrest me. Again." -Jesus

"Listen, Cat, my Dad gives life and he can take one of your nine lives away, too. All I have to do is ask. And then you'll be at eight." -Jesus

"Oh, we'll follow you, Jesus... Anywhere you lead." -The Disciples

"Hate to ruin the party, but one of you queens betrayed me." -Jesus

"Your living water tastes salty, Jesus." -young boy

"Another message? Are you kidding me? What does Dad want this time?"

"Aw, Holy Spirit, who's your pinkish friend?" -Jesus

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