“Christians talk about hating sin and loving sinners, but the way they go about things, they might as well call it what it is. They hate the sin and the sinner” — from Jeff in unChristian.
“To be judgmental is to point out something that is wrong in someone else’s life, making the person feel put down, excluded, and marginalized” (182).
Who has some wisdom for us on this one?
9 of 10 young outsiders think this way of Christians. “When you introduce yourself to a twentysomething neighbor, and you mention your faith, chances are he or she will think of you as jugmental” (183). 53% of young Christians agree with them.
1 of 5 outsiders see the church as a loving environment. Fewer than half of churchgoers think the church is loving. 75% of pastors think their church is loving.
Insight from the book: “But what if our judgmental attitudes are just posturing to look good to other believers?” (186). I see this in WatchBlogs, for whom it seems to me the audience of self-congratulations by others is what drives their caustic remarks about others. Instead of concern to help someone, they are more concerned to prove they are right and the true preservers of the faith. (Fidelity is a virtue; fidelity as an act of self-justification is obnoxious.)
Four forms of judgmentalism:
1. Wrong verdict: sometimes Christians get it wrong.
2. Wrong timing
3. Wrong motivation
4. Playing favorites
Guidelines that are less judgmental:
2. Avoid labels
3. Don’t be so smart
4. Put yourself in my place
5. Be genuine
6. Be my friend