Deepak Chopra and Intent

Deepak Chopra and Intent


The Maharishi Years – The Untold Story: Recollections of a Former Disciple (by Deepak Chopra)

posted by dchopra

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August 1, 1991 saw the publication of my book, Perfect Health, a popular guide to Ayurveda that came at the height of my involvement with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Although I had been meditating less than a decade in comparison with TM meditators who went back to the


Sixties, my association with Maharishi quickly became personal. He felt comfortable around other Indians and had a special regard for trained scientists and physicians. In return I had a deep fascination with enlightenment and the almost supernatural status of gurus. A few days before the book’s publication, I was in Fairfield, Iowa to participate in a meditation course. Maharishi was supposed to address the assembly on speaker phone from India, but the phone call didn’t come through at the appointed time. We all dispersed.
A couple of hours later when I was in meditation I had a vision of Maharishi lying in a hospital bed with intravenous tubes in his body breathing on a respirator. I quickly got out of the meditation and phoned my parents in New Delhi. My mother picked up the phone and told me that Maharishi was very sick. “They think he’s been poisoned. Come quickly,” she said. I asked to speak to my father, who was a cardiologist. She said, “Your father isn’t here. He’s taking care of Maharishi.” This began a journey that took me to the very heart of who the guru is and who he is expected to be. The two can be in jarring opposition.
I immediately left Fairfield for Chicago, where a wealthy TM donor had been kind enough to charter a plane for me. When I arrived in Delhi, it was past midnight. I first went home. My father was not there, and my mother told me he was still with Maharishi in a house in Golflinks, a private reserve in the city. One room had been converted into an intensive care unit presided over by my father and other doctors. I arrived at the house at 2:00 am, and when I entered the makeshift ICU I saw Maharishi lying unconscious in a bed with IV tubes and a respirator just as I had foreseen. My father informed me darkly that after drinking a glass of orange juice given to him by “a foreign disciple,” Maharishi had suffered severe abdominal pain and inflammation of the pancreas, along with kidney failure followed by a heart attack. Poisoning was suspected. Over the next few days Maharishi’s condition worsened. The pancreas and kidney functions continued to deteriorate, and his heart didn’t improve. My father was of the opinion that Maharishi should be taken to England for a course of kidney dialysis. The Indian TM organization, centered around Maharishi’s nephews, Prakash and Anand Shrivastava, were adamant that no one in the movement should find out that Maharishi was grievously ill. The rationale was that his followers would panic and lose faith.
I found myself torn, because Maharishi had long presented himself as being far from the typical Hindu guru. He did not assert his own divinity. He credited his entire career to his own master, Guru Dev. He seemed indifferent to the cult of personality and the aura of superstition surrounding gurus, which includes the notion that they have perfect control over mind and body and hold the secret of immortality. But deeper than that, Maharishi wasn’t a religious figure. Although he had taken vows as a monk, he brought a technique to the West, Transcendental Meditation, that was entirely secular and even scientific. Indeed, his lasting memory will probably be that he convinced Westerners of the physical and mental benefits of a purely mechanical non-religious approach to consciousness. I was troubled that his falling ill had to be hidden essentially to preserve the image of a superhuman being who couldn’t get sick like mere mortals.
There was one person the Indian inner circle chose to trust, however. He was Neil Paterson, a Canadian who had been chosen by Maharishi as chief spokesman and de facto head of the movement. Neil and I flew to England and made arrangements for Maharishi to be admitted to a private hospital on Harley Street. My father and two other doctors chartered a plane and brought Maharishi to London. I remember standing outside the London Heart Hospital, watching an ambulance navigate the snarled traffic, sirens wailing. Just before it arrived on the hospital’s doorstep, one of the accompanying doctors ran up with the news that Maharishi had suddenly died. I rushed to the ambulance, picking Maharishi’s body up -– he was frail and light by this time – and carrying him in my arms through London traffic.
I laid him on the floor inside the hospital’s doors and called for a cardio assist. Within minutes he was revived and rushed to intensive care on a respirator and fitted with a pacemaker that took over his heartbeat. The attending physician felt that Maharishi was clinically dead. My father suggested that we keep him on life support, however, until the family gave permission to take him off. As fate would have it, after 24 to 36 hours the attending informed us that Maharishi was recovering miraculously. His kidney function was returning to normal, his heart was beating independent of the pacemaker, and he had started to breathe on his own. Within a few days he was sitting up in bed, drinking milk with honey. The doctor could not explain this recovery; everyone in the hospital, including his nurses, were awestruck, not just by the turn-around but by his presence, which induced a sense of peace in anyone who came near.
Let me pause here to reflect on the strange juxtapositions at work. I genuinely felt in the midst of the crisis that I was fulfilling a purpose beyond myself. A series of circumstances had brought me to the very moment when someone had to intervene to save Maharishi’s life, and it was as if the universe had conspired to carry me to that moment. At the same time, he exhibited both the all-too-human qualities found in every holy man and other qualities one associates with the superhuman. I had the distinct sensation of standing on the border between two worlds, or should one say two versions of the human condition? It was easy to believe that other disciples in another time felt much the same in the presence of Jesus or Buddha.
Maharishi’s complete recovery happened slowly. There was a point where the doctor informed us that he had severe anemia and needed a blood transfusion. When they typed and cross-matched Maharishi’s blood, I turned out to be the only match – this, of course, only increased my sense of being a participant in a drama shaped by forces outside myself. When he was informed about the situation, however, Maharishi refused to accept my blood but would give no reason. Considering that much had been made of how he had studied physics in college and had insisted on the scientific validity of TM, this was a baffling decision. Then I had a sudden insight. He didn’t want my blood because he didn’t want my karma. After all, I had been a smoker, had indulged in alcohol and sex and had even experimented with LSD years before. I went to Maharishi and confronted him with my realization. I asked if he believed that karma could be transmitted in the blood. He responded reluctantly, “That’s true.” I told him that red blood cells do not have a nucleus and therefore contain no DNA. Without genetic information my blood would only be giving him the hemoglobin he needed without karmic infection. At first he was suspicious, but I had the hematologist explain to him that memory and information is not transferred through a red blood transfusion. Eventually he accepted my blood. As he regained strength, we removed him from the hospital, and he was brought to a London hotel to continue recuperating.
This began a period of increased intimacy between us. We would go for long walks in Hyde Park, which felt strange given the complete blackout of news to the TM movement, which was told that Maharishi had decided to go into silence for the time being. On one occasion, a stranger ran up to us in the park and asked, “Aren’t you the guru of the Beatles?” My wife Rita, who had joined us that day, quickly interjected, “He’s my father-in-law. Please leave him alone.” In the end we felt that staying in London risked unnecessary publicity. So Maharishi was moved to a country home in the southwest of England where I spent hours personally nursing him. He took the occasion to give me deep insight and knowledge about Vedanta. He also gave me advanced meditation techniques. Those languid weeks and months alone with Maharishi, except for the servants who cooked and served his meals, were the most precious days of my life. I grew very fond of him and he evoked a love in me that I had never experienced before. In turn, I realized that he was also getting fond of me. We discussed just about every topic in the world from politics (on which he had very strong opinions) to human relationships (which he thought were full of melodrama) to the nature of consciousness (his favorite subject). Yet I still remained on the cusp of an uneasy truce between the physical frailty of an old man who at times could be fretful and worried and a guru whose mortality was like an admission of imperfection.
In all, Maharishi was out of circulation for almost a year; few in the TM movement knew where he was, and almost no one was willing to concede that he had been sick. After he was fully recovered we flew him via helicopter back to his chosen residence, which wasn’t in either India or the U.S. but the obscure village of Vlodrop in Holland. It would be impossible to calculate how many disciples and even casual TM meditators would have given anything for personal time with Maharishi. Because of his mass appeal and his undeniable presence, there were many who cherished a moment with him as the most precious in their lives. Yet I was growing increasingly disturbed by contradictions I couldn’t reconcile.
Maharishi had spent decades traveling the globe to promote TM; now he remained permanently in Vlodrop while I was sent, as one of his main emissaries, on a routine of almost constant jet travel. He aimed at ever-increasing expansion. Eastern Europe and the Soviet bloc were opened up to meditation. Gradually so was the Islamic world, which resisted TM in large part because the initiation ceremony included a picture of Maharishi’s teacher sitting on an altar, which went against the Muslim prohibition over depicting God or holy men. Everywhere I went I was given the respect accorded to my guru, bringing with it a level of pomp and ceremony that verged on veneration. Not only did this make me uncomfortable personally, but I wondered why Maharishi, the first “modern” guru, allowed and encouraged it. It seemed inconsistent with Vedanta’s central theme that the material world is illusion, not to mention the freedom from materialism that is expected of one who is enlightened.
Ironically, the respect shown to me in his name came to be my undoing. Maharishi started to give me the perception (perhaps that was my own projection) that he felt I was competing with him in a spiritual popularity contest. On more than one occasion, he casually mentioned that I was seeking adulation for myself. This was odd considering that he had been the one who thrust me forward in the first place, and who insisted on piling tributes on me that I had no choice but to accept whatever my embarrassment. The situation came to a head. In July, 1993, during the celebration of Guru Purnima, I went to see Maharishi in his private rooms to pay my respects. It was close to midnight after all the day’s public ceremonies had ended. Rita and I entered the room in near darkness. Besides Maharishi, the only person present was a TM higher up, Benny Feldman, who kept silent as Maharishi said, “People are telling me that you are competing with me.”
At that point I had only heard indirect reports about his displeasure; this was the first time, in fact, that Maharishi had shown anything but the highest trust in me. It was true that after his medical crisis he refused to discuss his health and took pains to indicate that where once I had been his physician, now I was to consider myself in the former position of disciple. Actually, I admired him for this. It would have been impertinent for me to take any other role. To be in the presence of someone like Maharishi is to realize an immense gulf in consciousness. His physical status continued to be amazingly strong considering what he had been through.
Here he was now, in my eyes, playing the part of an irascible, jealous old man whose pride had been hurt. For my part, I was dismayed that he might believe the rumors. Then he made a demand. “I want you to stop traveling and live here at the ashram with me.” He also wanted me to stop writing books. After delivering what amounted to an ultimatum, I was given twenty-four hours to make up my mind.
It was a critical moment. Then and there I had to consider the entirety of the guru-disciple relationship. To anyone outside India, much misunderstanding surrounds the whole issue of taking on an enlightened teacher. To begin with, there is a Western predisposition to doubt that enlightenment could be real except as personified in Buddha or a limited number of saints and sages who existed centuries ago. There is also a sense in the West that following a guru is tantamount to surrendering your personal identity, your bank account, and your dignity. None of these issues concerned me, however. In the role of guru Maharishi was authentic, dignified, respectful, and accepting. In addition, he was personally lovable and a joy to be around (even if one had to suffer patiently through discourses that lasted many hours and that circled around the same basic points.) The dilemma I faced was more fundamental: Can a real guru be unfair, jealous, biased, and ultimately manipulative?
For a devotee, the answer is unquestionably yes. The role of a disciple isn’t to question a guru, but the exact opposite: Whatever the guru says, however strange, capricious, or unfair, is taken to be truth. The disciple’s role is to accommodate to the truth, and if it takes struggle and “ego death” to do that, the spiritual fruits of obedience are well worth it. A guru speaks for God and pure consciousness; therefore, his words are a direct communication from Brahman, who knows us better than we know ourselves. In essence the guru is like a superhuman parent who guides our steps until we can walk on our own. Was Maharishi doing that to me?
I never found out, because practical considerations loomed large at that moment. I had a family with children in school, a wife who decidedly did not want to live an ashram life, and no visible means of support if I stopped producing books and giving lectures. I told Maharishi that I didn’t need twenty-four hours to make my decision. I would leave immediately and not return. With some surprise he asked me why. I told him that I had no ambitions to be a guru myself – the very idea appalled me. I was dismayed that he would believe such rumors. It was beyond my imagination for anyone to compare me to him or that I would have the gall to do the same.
It’s only after his death that I feel free to divulge this final parting of ways. To outsiders it will seem like a tempest in a teapot, but in my leaving the TM movement it was widely rumored that I wanted to be the guru of my own movement. While the media casually refers to any spokesperson from the East as a guru, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that Maharishi actually was a guru and great Rishi of the Vedic tradition, while I am a doctor who loved the philosophy of Vedanta and also loved articulating it for the man on the street. I said goodbye to Maharishi, took Rita’s hand, and walked away. We drove from Vlodrop to Amsterdam in the middle of the night and took a plane to Boston. When we arrived home in Lincoln, Massachusetts, the phone was ringing. A contrite and forgiving Maharishi was on the line. He said, “You are my son, you will inherit all that I have created. Come back and all will be yours.”
I replied that I didn’t want what he was offering. I loved the knowledge of Vedanta and wanted to devote myself to it. By the end of the conversation, however, I relented and told him that I would think about it. In the ensuing months I was approached by medical institutions and universities to introduce Ayurveda and TM as part of their programs. However, when I contacted Maharishi and the movement with these promising prospects I was told that I shouldn’t pursue these offers. At the same time decisions were made to raise the cost of TM astronomically, putting it out of reach for ordinary people. On January 12, 1994 I went back to Vlodrop for the annual New Year’s celebration and told Maharishi that I was leaving permanently. I expressed my immeasurable gratitude to him and told him that I would love him forever. When we parted, he said, “Whatever you do will be the right decision for you. I will love you, but I will also be indifferent to you from now on.”
At first his being indifferent felt very hurtful, but then I realized that Maharishi was offering love with detachment, the mark of a great sage. I remembered one of his favorite remarks, which he once directed to me: “I love you, but it’s none of your business.” What followed for me was the arc of a public career that became more acceptable to the outside world once I was no longer aligned with a guru. In some people’s eyes I dropped Maharishi in order to launch myself. This perception has led to recriminations in the TM movement. One is faced with the sad spectacle of people striving to gain enlightenment while at the same vilifying anyone who dares to stray from the fold. Nothing I did after leaving Maharishi was premeditated. I later visited the Shankaracharya of Jyotir Math and told him about my situation. His response was sympathetic: he told me that I remained an exponent of Vedanta for the West and was therefore true to the tradition.
I believe that Maharishi would have been the first to agree. It’s not possible to stray from the one reality, and if Maharishi the personality couldn’t give his blessing, at a deeper level Maharishi the guru was doing his job of coaxing consciousness to expand. There was no way for me to reconcile the two opposites back then, but I have come to realize that I never needed to. All opposites are reconciled in unity consciousness, the state that Maharishi was in and the state I aspire to every day.



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Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

posted February 13, 2008 at 11:58 pm


This is an awesome story. What an extraordinary relationships and amazing opportunity. Thanks so much for sharing!



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Zane

posted February 14, 2008 at 3:50 am


There is an author of a series of books that have brought peace and joy to millions around the world. A few years ago I had the pleasure of attending a seminar hosted by this author. I will admit that I was quite star struck to be in his presence.
On the second day of the seminar that audio system in the auditorium failed and the sound engineer seemed unwilling or unable to solve the problem. To my surprise the author, who I imagined to be unshakable, lost his temper. He even resorted to sarcasm which seemed extra chilling coming from his mouth.
Initially, I was horrified by this all-too-human outburst. But then I realised what a great gift it was. It allowed me to shift my focus away from the messenger and onto the message.
We must love our gurus for their spiritual grace, but also for their humanity. Both serve an invaluable purpose.



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Anonymous

posted February 14, 2008 at 10:15 am


Everyone is human and even if you are enlightened I’m sure that if you are still in human form you are susceptible to human emotions.
Maya



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hangan, CR

posted February 14, 2008 at 6:43 pm


There is all there is and then there is isness and allness the same coinless isness yet all of the all which is. The simplicity of those words should convey the richness of eternity and our constant coming and going in and out of it. Fortunately our memory fades to match it. It is always, this journey, a mix and matching and molding and remodeling wishing and doing that moves, repels and admonishes us. It is love, indeed, love, indeed, indeed it is Love and we should never try to pretend it away because of its shy nature.
We can never in the form, just walk into and out that eventuality.
We must always hold together our physical attributes and muster the sensitity of the spiritual ones which may interact while mildly competing in the middle range of victories. We can dream it the wholeness and its illusions to take and grasp the token witnesses.
The inspire the leadership to find its center, its core assumptions and value admissions and then to move it’s captives to new ground.
To newer realizations. It is all going on at the same moments across the quantum vacuums, the great bridges we suddenly see and seem to suddenly see. Oh holy cow that drifts in and out or pasture, resucue our names and nuances, our plans and plants. Rescue our images from their moorings. rescue our poetry from the dullness of sactity.
Go, ones of the high calling, consult your ancestorss and confront your chakras. Let them breathe and reshape their fire. Let’s taste the righteous sweetness of the milk and honey. Have it as a private alter and public portrait and a inner body shadow, all shades of demonstratons and development. Go, man, Go the Ashram calls with quickening voice death’s generous friend and mother.
I must leave you now to the continuing parade and swimming winds.



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Edwina Ogden

posted February 16, 2008 at 10:11 am


I really appreciate this post, Deepak, I can’t tell you how much.I am a former TM teacher who was a part of the TM movement during the time that you were involved with Maharishi. I heard you speak many times in Fairfield and received instruction in Primordial Sound from you.
I remember all to well the rumors about Maharishi’s illness and I am happy to know the real truth. Also, I always thought that you were a great asset to the TM movement and never understood fully why you left.
For a long time, I have been conflicted about Maharishi. Having spent time in his company as one of his teachers, I have experienced the undeniable breadth of consciousness that he embodies. On the other hand, I have witnessed the glaring inconsistencies about him personally and especially his movement.
TM followers were encouraged to believe that everything that Maharishi did or said was absolute truth. At some point, a lot of the things he did and said did not jive with me at all. With a heavy heart, I have gradually gone my own way spiritually and left the TM movement. With his passing, I still have that heavy heart but I am also grateful to Maharishi for pointing me in the direction of myself, the Inner Guru. And for that, I am eternally beholden.
Thank you again for this post,it will help me greatly in my own healing process.
Edwina



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Sreenivasan

posted February 19, 2008 at 1:43 am


Far back in the early nineties I began investigating religions that abound in this world. I did hear of Maharishi especially when he became famous after his association with the Beatles. Later I heard about Deepak Chopra and held a great admiration for him perhaps mostly because of the simplicitic terminologies he uses to explain complicated subjects about mind, body and spirit.
When there is no light from the sun after it has set, there is the moon, and when there is no moonlight from the moon, the stars shine bright and the brightest of them all is the northern star. Light is knowledge and darkness is ignorance. This is a phenomena that exists in the world of “seeing”
In like manner in the world of the “unseen” the SUN is the Prophet or Messenger of God and the “Light of God” as long as it is not highjacked by self-interested groups who are responsible for the proliferation of many sects and cults, is in the “Word of God” preserved in the Holy Books or Writings of all “Religions”
As long as a human being investigates independently to recognise and find the source of guidance sent to him by God his Creator, to know the purpose for which he has been created, and should that man read, understand and obey in deeds whatsever is revealed by God, then he will always remain knowledgeable and enjoy the guiding “Light of God” But should man instead choose to follow the dictates in false teachings masqurading as from God, then he begins to live in “darkness”
God therefore in compassion due to His love for mankind sends a “star” so that the light radiated by this “star” will become a source of hope for man.
Maharishi is that “star” in human form.



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Carl

posted February 19, 2008 at 4:19 am


Thank you, Deepak, for sharing your experiences with Maharishi. There are many examples of students and teachers parting ways with each other, with the partings being initiated by either one or the other or both. And “initiation” is an appropriate word to use here because it indicates a stepping out into the unknown, whether one is pushed or called to do so. Students are initiated into a “way” that is offered by the teacher and are then guided along that “way” but it is never the appropriate role of a teacher to stand in the “way” of the student. Instead, the role of the teacher is to point the way beyond him/her self and to help the student find his/her “way” which is independant of the teacher.
If the teacher realizes that the student has become dependent on the teacher, it may be necessary for the teacher to send the student on his/her “way” by sending or driving him/her away. It the student realizes that progress on his/her “way” is somehow being inhibited by the human limitations of the teacher, then it is time to leave the teacher. It seems, Deepak, that your experience with Maharishi may have actually been somewhat of a combination of these two kinds of parting, which is not at all uncommon. This parting of the ways is also an initiation for the student – an opportunity to step out beyond the teacher, into the unknown, to discover what awaits beyond current limitations and to manifest further potentials.
Ultimately, each of us must travel our own path toward the One alone, even though it is usually best to do so in the company of kindred spirits, as long as those kindred spirits support and encourage one along one’s own “way.” You have offered much to the world as you have traveled your path, Deepak, and I thank you for sharing your gifts with all of us, even as you continue to discover them for yourself. I wish you well on your continued journey of discovery and manifestation.
May each and every one of us find and follow our own paths towards the One and learn to share, each in our own ways, the Love, Harmony and Beauty we find along the way.
With Love,
Carl



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Juanito

posted February 19, 2008 at 5:08 am


Dear Deepak, you listened to the prescious conscience. We would allways be doing the right thing. If we listen.



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catherine izon gainer

posted February 19, 2008 at 6:16 am


Early morning stikes constantly….
Consciousness i hold in my hands just like how i keep the sands the day i met wisdom!



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Ken Whiton

posted February 19, 2008 at 11:29 am


Well, well, well. Now I understand the Beatles incident. It only took them a short time to discover what it took the “quantum” Depak years to learn. I remember when they left they reported that when they told the Maharishi they were leaving he asked them why just as he asked Chopra. Their response: “You’re the guru. You figure it out.”



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Saji

posted February 19, 2008 at 11:57 am


Thank you Deepak for your candid post. I am sure Maharishi would have his own views regarding this episode of you leaving him. Like you mentioned at the end of your post,’All opposites are reconciled in unity consciousness…’ , that is what the bigger picture states.



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Anonymous

posted February 19, 2008 at 11:58 pm


I have more respect for Deepak Chopra after reading this candid article. As Buddha said just before his Parinirvana, “Buddhas do but point the way, strive earnestly for you own liberation.” Faith must be balanced with wisdom. I think Dr. Chopra made the right choice of following wisdom over blind faith. According to Buddha attaining the higher consciousness of samadhi through concentration meditation is just a temporary liberation from greed, anger and fear. Underground roots of weeds again grow on the surface, likewise the defilements grow again despite samadhi attainment. In vipassana meditation one uses the concentration to then be mindful of the waves of body sensations, thoughts, emotions and waves of consciousness to see impermanence down to the subatomic level of body and mind. Thus one gets to the unconscious roots of unwholesome states of mind and then dissolve the illusion of ego-self. Even with the concentration of higher consciousness those roots of unwholesomeness remain in the unconscious as shown by various gurus who have attained samadhi higher consciousness yet show imperfections. Nirvana is a permanent liberation beyond all levels of consciousness; yet at least a basic level of samadhi is necessary for attaining the yoga of wisdom of vipassana.



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Lisa K

posted February 23, 2008 at 1:05 pm


Guru or not, the Maharishi was human. One of our greatest challenges is to accept that we are light AND dark. We strive for perfection, but are made strong through the acknowledgement of our darker side. You made the right decision, Deepak – we each have free will to decide what is best for us. To abdicate that responsibility would be a statement that we would rather “fit in” with another’s beliefs than stand on our own two feet and be true to ourselves.



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Krishan Patel

posted February 23, 2008 at 7:04 pm


I think it was not a case of ego or such … if you had stayed with Maharishi you would have doomed your Guru from the ultimate salvation by Brahman, Moksha … the cosnpiracy of the Cosmos was arranged, and the Guru deliberatly acted it out with full knowledge … and so need to recognize there is nothing to lament by Dr. Chopra … the Guru would have meandered away from Moksha if he had nurtured any attachment to you as you were actually forcing him to your “imagination”, unsciously, of the love and ATTACHMENT.
Your Guru … deliberately or by the Lila of Brahman … played the various nuances and acts to detach you with dignity … i.e. detaching you but calling you back at the same time … hence therefater the “I will love you, but I will also be indifferent to you from now on” WOW !!! that is as SAGE and close to the TRUTH of Krishna’s GITA as it gets … and the life act plays on with profound relayed and broadcast sage teachings that the Cosmos arranged for you to teach the wider world … CLINICALLY!!! … and without any ties or bagages for the Guru or himslef … Free as Arjun’s all-consequence-liberated arrows from his bow to carry on Karma Yog!



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Venugopal

posted February 24, 2008 at 1:20 pm


The Guru cuts of the ‘Apron Strings’ so that the Desciple go on his own and achieve the growth and development destinied for him. The mother Hen drives away the chicks so that the chick grows capable of finding its own food supply !!
Regards
Venugopal



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Kathryn

posted February 24, 2008 at 1:45 pm


I was taught TM at the age of about 12 by my father who had gone through the program. At age forty-two I formally took the program by a teacher who offered the program for $400.00 which was not acceptable in the “TM World” according to the Maharishi. The teacher had studied directly under the Maharishi and had been a disciple for over thirty years of TM and wanted to make the program affordable for everyone. In the last few years there was a different “tone” to the movement so to speak. It had more of a “you” and “them” feeling rather than a oneness feeling which Dr. Chopra promotes in his work. Everything truly is in divine order and Dr. Chopra as well as everyone else in the world makes choices based on the information available at the time. TM is just one form of meditation that has worked for many people. I have appreciated this method as well as many other forms of meditation. I told my teacher about the Oneness Blessing which is also from India and the largest spiritual growth movement in the world right now and even the Vatican has sent people to learn about it, and asked if he would be interested in learning more and he didn’t even want to hear about it and that TM served his life just fine thank you. WOW! I do not think there is a need for an endless search based on constant dissatisfaction of life. It is important, in my humble opinion, to continue to be open to other ideas and techniques. Any modality that will help us to remember that we are all connected at the core level, I hope everyone will learn more about. I have appreciated the evolvement of Dr. Chopra’s work and will continue to enjoy reading and listening to his tapes.
Positively,
With love and joy,
Kathryn



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George DeForest

posted February 24, 2008 at 3:00 pm


there are many of us, myself included, who loved TM and the Maharishi’s teachings; and we are struggling now that he has passed on. But, “all things must pass” (to quote the George Harrison song). Now Deepak has given us a beatiful model of how to make that seperation; i find this story very healing, and thank Deepak for sharing it with us. May Deepak continue to be a healing force in the world, especially now that Maharishi has left it; Jai Guru Dev



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Brenda Rafter Smith

posted February 24, 2008 at 6:53 pm


Thank you dearly Choppra, for your story helps to explain many different confusing thoughts I had back when we were told “MIU will no longer be carrying any of Choppra’s books” Nothing made sense. Your story and all the genuineness, truthfulness, helps to refresh my soul. Thank you for taking time to share this with all of us. I was initiated in 1973. It cost me 35.00 back then. May God’s blessings shine brightly upon you and your wonderful family, Brenda Rafter Smith



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Deb T

posted February 24, 2008 at 7:33 pm


Deepak, I found your recounting very honest, and quite touching. If I am reading this correctly, it was a struggle for you to leave Maharishi’s inner circle. Understandably so. You did what you did. You can’t go backwards in time. The value you gained from being his disciple will never be lost.
I am wondering: what are you are doing with TM these days? Do you use it in your work? If I may be so bold, do you meditate with the technique you were given by your master?
Did you attend the funeral in India?
Hopefully you will respond here. If these questions are too personal you could respond to my email address (but I am not sure how to transfer that to you as I do not care to post it here.)
Peace, Debbie



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April G

posted February 24, 2008 at 11:09 pm


I have been living in Fairfield Iowa the last 3 years… I came here because it had many things to offer me, Maharishi, and the Tm movement were never on the top of my list to do… Many times different members of the Tm movement have told me I must learn Tm… I found this very interesting as when ever I ask my inner self if I needed to learn TM
meditation I always heard no…. i have been meditating for over 31 years
and have been though more than one teacher!!! I am so happy you wrote this I now finally understand how I could read all your books never knowing all about you and now I truly know why I have had no inner draw to learn TM.. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me… I will still love Maharishi forever for the opening he created though the Beatles…. for the west.. I do believe he completed his mission, he helped so many people in this country to open to alternatives…..Joy to the world….



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Anon please

posted February 25, 2008 at 10:03 am


I truly appreciate Chopra sharing with us. But it raises more questions than it answers. Not surprisingly, there are rumors circulating amongst the TM faithful regarding Chopra’s article. One is in an email purportedly originating from another doctor that treated the Maharishi. This email disputes a number of the facts in Chopra’s account.
It is very hard to know what was true and the fault for that really is with the Maharishi and the TMO for their drive to secrecy. Secrecy breeds rumors.
If Mr. Chopra reads my comment, I sure would like some information clarified:
Was there really a poisoning or was that an unwarranted fear?
Emails being circulated dispute the time the Maharishi was ill with various accounts saying late 80s to early 90s. When did the Maharishi establish his base in the Netherlands? It looks like he was broadcasting messages from the Netherlands in 1991. Could Chopra be wrong about the year? Also, Chopra’s Perfect Health book actually came out in the spring of 1990, so maybe he is not remembering the year correctly.



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DR. MANVIR GUPTA

posted February 25, 2008 at 12:20 pm


maharishi was great teacher, many more claims like this will follow, but his teachings are only truth.



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Andres

posted February 25, 2008 at 5:15 pm


Dear Deepak you know , The Great Guru Maharishi Loved to all Disciples He was and will be Pure love and compacion
Jai Guru Dev jai Maharishi



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dori ahern

posted February 26, 2008 at 1:37 pm


Jai Guru Dev Deepak!
As a TMer who sat in the men’s dome ga ga over you in the 1980’s, your story has confirmed my inner speculations on what went on between you and Maharishi. I have heard the official TM version and yours rings very very very true. For all of us touched to the core by our Master Maharishi, we are rejoined as we witness his departure from this earth, as regal as his walk upon it. Thank you for your immense contribution to ayurveda, for inspiring me to travel to India to become a vaidya (entering Gujarat Ayurvedi University this august if God wills) and for your brotherhood in the raising of this planet to the status of the divine which we see in the making. You may also recall a series of incidents surrounding my attempt to have you teach me the “bliss” technique in the early 90’s. :)



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K V Nair

posted February 27, 2008 at 9:51 am


Maharishi was just testing you ,Deepak,when he asked you to giveup everything and stay at the Asram.He was looking for a successor of caliber,and commitment;you had the first in abuntent quantities!Perhaps you were not prepared to believe the guru and surrender.There were other matters in your life and for you HE was a teacher not a Guru though you dint realise the subtile difference at that time! I admire your writings,it shows intellectual excellence of a Vedanta scholar/Doctor.



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veerendera sharma

posted February 28, 2008 at 7:05 am


Dear mr deepak chopra,
you should not forget the days you spent with maharishi ji,he elevated you and your conciousness.projected your personality to the west world.the people started to know you it was only thru maharishi ji,as far as your story says that you helped him during his sickness you should know maharishi jis personal personal physicion was dr mahaptra who very talented and expert. he never took your help although he helped you in so many ways and you cam to learn vedanta no you wanted yourself to be projected thru maharishis platform which you got but you never had the deapth of his teachings and knowledge you have shallow knowledge only,we have seen you begging maharishiji for your and your family tickets to usa. you are a liar, you want to cash our sentiments. maharishi was a great saint maharishi, a person or saint on this earth is rare to been seen ,he was great man, we loved him his knowledge based teaching are always in heart
jai guru dev



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Yogani

posted March 3, 2008 at 4:51 pm


Dear Deepak:
Thank you so much for sharing. Many have wondered about this, and you have brought us all closer in spirit today.
It is water over the dam, yes? And so much of it has been good. The question is, where do we go from here? Onward, of course. Still so much to be done.
Thank you, Maharishi, for all you have done to open the inner doors. We will carry the light forward, each in our own way, until all of humankind is illuminated. It is stillness in action, outpouring divine love and unity unfolding in everyday living.
The guru is awakening in everyone.
Yogani
Author of the open source Advanced Yoga Practices lessons



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ganoba date

posted March 6, 2008 at 2:06 am


What Deepak Chopra describes is a part of the celestial drama, played out between matter and consciousness, between Purush and Prakriti, between Yin and Yang, between Ishwar and Maya. What appears in human existence gets murky because of the importance we give to name and fame, aspects that constitute the social identity.
any perceptive individual would notice this drama being played out in his/her life.
The details are not very important Mr. Chopra beyond creating a sellable story.
with love,
Ganoba Date
My email id can be made public



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Chris Russell

posted March 12, 2008 at 2:31 pm


Reading through the above comments it is easy to see the veneration, love and respect that Maharishi engendered in all who knew him. As far as the comment posted on February 28th, I can feel the pain that this person has when thinking that his Maharishi is no longer “in body”. Please know that you are not the “a liar” that this pained commenter suggests and know also that the world is greatful for your presence here, now. I feel that the Mararishi and Paramahanda Yogananda are both together sending us their combined blessings for our blissful lives.
Best wishes to you and yours,
Chris Russell



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Michelle

posted March 12, 2008 at 3:29 pm


Wow! Thank you sooo very much! I too made a similar choice with a great Guru who changed my life and graced me with “Unity” consciousness…or the re-cognition of no-separation. I too have been confused and confounded by the Guru’s behavior which sometimes seems in stark contrast to his Realization and Spirit Transmission. I will cherish your words..they help me to understand and forgive my self – in so doing I remember no-separation, and continue to embrace my Guru -Adi Da Samraj – even though I left his community.
Gratefully, Michelle Rubee White



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Laurie T. Jemison

posted March 13, 2008 at 1:48 pm


Deepak, I sometimes wonder if everyone who is seeking spiritual consciencenss has had a similar experience as you have had. It seems to be that our spiritual journey is the only pioneering left to do and really, no one can takes us there but God. We do however, meet help mates along the way. I thank God every day for people like you, Duane Dyer, Neale Donald Walshe, and Marriane Williamson. You all have contributed to my spiritual journey and helped lead my way. I thank God most for my own personal guru or, as I call him, my “ragpicker” (Og Mandino.) There came a time where I had to separate myself from him. For a long time I contributed this action as a result of judgment. Then of course, I experienced guilt because he was dying of emphasema and cancer and I did not want to be around him. He called me just before he died and wanted me to come to him. I was currently in the darkest night my soul had ever known and could not go. He died alone.
I have come to believe that there is much perfection in the imperfection because if it were not so, we would confuse the message with the messenger. I have not studied the end of life for most spiritul leaders except for the historical life of Jesus but what I know about him, is that he had at one time a huge following, but they were no longer with him when he died. I am pretty sure he was not considered by anyone to be a perfect individual and I imagine his followers had the same conflicts that you and I have experienced.
In the end, I believe our spiritual journeys have to be our own but it does not mean that I am not extremely grateful and consider myself to be soooo blessed for having had so many of you who started out before me, forging my path with light. Thank you!
Love
Laurie



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S. Scharfman

posted March 14, 2008 at 5:53 pm


Hello Deepak: I was present for a talk you gave many years ago when I was still one of Maharishi’s teachers. MMY started me on the path way back when we used to “round” all day with yoga and meditation. In those days we were either in constant bliss or unstressing our brains out. He was a great teacher and I shall never forget him for what he did for me and tried to do for the world.
I never understood the reason for making TM so unaffordable for most people in the later years. I think I paid $50 for my first initiation.
For those who are not familiar with these great beings, we should remember that all of them are often unfathomable, unpredictable, inexplicable and mysterious in their ways. Anyone who tries to figure out why they do certain things and the manner in which they do them, invariably fails.
They are wonderful enigmas who walk the earth for brief moments in time. And what does it matter if in the end we have benefited from having been in their presence?



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David Bateman

posted March 15, 2008 at 9:58 am


The most difficult discipline, when in the strong force field of charismatic teachers is maintaining a clear, objective, ability to witness and discriminate, while acknowledging that that ‘witness’ has almost inevitably been ‘bent’ by conditioning. But using one’s buddhi mind, rather than one’s manas monkey mind.
The more honest -though not reactionary one’s relationship, the less easy it was to take Maharishi’s grandiose “World Government” and Natural Law Party” stances. -Those young besuited sprog prozelytizers Maharishi insisted sending out to try and convert worldly-wise captains of industry, for instance. As I mentioned as a comment on Dr Chopra’s “The Three Maharishi” piece; Nancy Cooke Herrera’s fascinating book “Beyond Gurus” is partly a very honest, account of the petty nastiness and jealousy that so often spoils the courts of the great, and leads to the sort of negativity and surprising ammount of vitriol around worldly organisations of “spiritual” endeavour.
(Eg the Beatle’s fracas) But it also includes some of the miracles that occurred around Maharishi in the US in the early days, but also much of M’s positive teaching and that of other gurus.
One of my own experiences; (obviously only subjective for me) was his removal of what felt strongly out of the blue, to be a malicious voodoo spell put upon me by a Scottish shamon. It was aimed from a distance after that shaman had discovered and resented my advice to one of his followers. The lifting was done without any obvious abracadabra display or intoned blessing; but just while he made me sit with him whilst dealing with his massive post,interspersed by 4 or five interviews. But I clearly felt its lifting and looked up to see what he was doing to engender it. He merely continued looking down opening yet another letter! After the next person had come and gone, he simply said; “meditate morning and evening, you’ll be allright” …and I was.
Above all, I’m very grateful for his teachings, example,often profound wisdom and blessings,and also the lessons sometimes of his apparent worldly fallibility.
Finishing on another positive note: On one occasion, after personally being given a long 13 hour “rounding” assignment on a course, I saw, when reporting back to him at its conclusion, an amazing shimmering gold halo around his head!
We have to attempt to gladly repay our blessings…
Namaste, David.



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Anonymous

posted March 15, 2008 at 4:39 pm


I was initiated into the Radha Soami path, or Sant Mat. Never never never does any money change hands on this path. The gurus, are perfect living Masters and there has never been any question of their integrity in any way. But they do not proclaim publicly and you will only find a perfect living Master when he finds you. I thank God I did.



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Rosemary

posted March 23, 2008 at 10:44 am


Dear Mr. Chopra,terra.com
Why you left Maharishi? Maharishi gave you the opportunity to be his successor but you decided to leave him. This decision was simply based on your level of consciousness. Obviously, you were not ready for such priviledge and responsibility. If you decided to follow your own path, there is nothing to regret. You did it based on your level of consciousness. As simple as that.
Jai Guru Dev,
Rosemary



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K. Ramesh Babu

posted April 6, 2008 at 12:24 pm


Maharishi’s behavior, as described in this post, merely accentuates the mortal aspect of human behavior. Such behavior does not in anyway reduce the value of the One Truth.



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Cynthia

posted April 6, 2008 at 8:04 pm


is this a case of what happens many times, of the truth of the message not always lining up (or seeming to) with all the actions of the human messenger? does internal politics between the messengers compromise the truth of the message, or is it completely external to it?
I’m not familiar with TM, but I’ve felt disappointment (read: expectation) when a person I set up in my mind as all-spiritual (by my definition) turns out to be human. Heh. :)



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Andy

posted April 10, 2008 at 4:47 pm


You say it is the job of the disciple to follow your master fully. Yet, you treat him which much scorn for the beginning of your piece. How can someone say you have realized your own existence when you make your own master feel that he needs to fear you. I mean, I don’t mean to say that all of what he says is rubbish or that you are someone who has realized ideas, but that is why people revere the saints of the past – they didn’t want attention. Instead of flying on jets to spread a message they moved on their own two feet. That is true power.
Why? Why the money, the fame, the power? Where is the simplicity and the reverence for that one unifying force of God?
Why is there a TM movement? It is the art of the sage to have his disciples seek him out, not him try and promise fake dreams to people. IF a person honestly burns with the love of his saint and God, then he is ready to speak to a master.
Why does the movement need to be large? Very few people will have a chance to understand themselves in this life, so why do you try to expand something to those who don’t have that passion to find God and his love?
I just want your idea on these questions, I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I want to know. I want to understand the world around me.



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Victoria

posted April 13, 2008 at 2:55 pm


Dear Mr. Chopra,
I worked at the TM Center on Sunset and actually met you many years ago. You were teaching Panchakarma, and I was a new therapist there. I didn’t know about you, or had the opportunity to work with you but I respected you very much. Your patience,passion about Ayurveda, and absolute professionalism touched me deeply. You also had a great sense of humor and made a somewhat intimidating and intricate subject enjoyable. Many of us were aware of what happened with you and the Maharishi (yes…there was plenty of gossip for such a spiritual place) but please know that some of us felt you were treated very unfairly.It was a betrayal. While that wasn’t the ultimate reason I didn’t stay with The Center…it did contribute to it. It was an extremely painful decision to make because I had an incredible experience that changed my life during my TM initiation. During the actual ritual, I fell into what was called the “void”. My initiator was quite surprised. Why? I was a “worldly person”…things like that don’t happen. My left brain thought that if I left the center, my spiritual path would be over. It was quite a quandry, because I also attended SRF (The Lake Shrine) next door. But there was alot of “political stuff” going on there too. I felt like I was being torn down the middle. I don’t think people can truly appreciate how shattering it is when you see great organizations like these sink to the most petty squabling imaginable. It tears you apart. The commitment to the guru is a serious one, and if he goes down…so can you. I don’t have to tell you that. I was confused by it all. I didn’t necessarily think there needed to be perfection there. I was disappointed by how much people truly enjoyed the drama (kept it going and going) and felt so damn self-righeous at the same time. In the end, my intuition won out. I left both organizations, kept in my heart what was helpful and threw the rest away. It was incredibly hard to do this, but after the initial shock wore off I was fine.Yes, I lost “friends” too. People also abandoned me. Please know that many of us greatly sympathized with your position. We all put ourselves in your shoes. But, we didn’t feel safe enough to share our feeling publically. We didn’t want to suffer the same fate as you….blackballing. Wimpy? Yes.
I think what I learned from all that is that when the decision is between God and guru, God must win out. The success you have experienced is because you put God first, as Jesus said is the only place he should be.Jesus also told us our needs would be met if we did so. I am so sorry that people don’t know this or understand your courageous decision. Often, the greatest heros go uncelebrated. You are still my hero, and a very human one. I am grateful for your teachings. You will always be one of my favorite people on planet Earth. And I know somehow you will receive this message…as I feel compelled to send it to you. Humans are flawed indeed, but ultimately our integrity is what we can choose no matter whether we are a sinner or a saint. You made the right choice, and it had a very high price tag. But, look where you are now :)
Blessings to you and your family always :)
Victoria



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GoldenZen

posted April 15, 2008 at 12:45 am


Deepak,
I am grateful for your story. Unlike some of the other comments, I found you kind and graceful while you told of your struggle.
I am always dismayed at how we have such unreal expectations of humans. We are after all such a wonder, but experience that wonder within form and matter. Our greatest achievement is to “be” within those confines while we are here on this gracious planet.
I am neither confused by your behavior or Maharashi’s. We are who we are at the moment we are in.
Your gift to the world is unmistakeable. Maharashi’s undeniable.
Thank you.



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Mary

posted May 9, 2008 at 6:48 pm


Deepak,
I have had the joy of listening to your tapes. You do have a gift for communicating the essense of the holy spirit. Thank you for sharing.
I have been a student of Science of Mind (Religious Science) ever since I “found” it in Chicago in 1979. We moved to Virginia in 1981, so I’ve been “on my own” since then. I still read and study all things spiritual.
I remember something that Jesus said about “you will do even greater things….” That is why new ideas about spirit must be shared if mankind is ever to evolve in its understanding of itself and the universe. Personally, I am not sure that any human will ever understand God’s intent. It is a guess at best; that is why we have so many different religions….different ways to express the unexpressible gift of life. A dog will look to his human caretaker as his master; but the dog cannot possibly understand what it is to be human. Just the same, IMHO, humans do not possess the intelligence to understand God. We have limitations; God does not. Isn’t it a blessing that God’s love for us is unfailing.



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Shain McVay

posted May 22, 2008 at 5:41 pm


Thank you Deepak,
This is stuff that I needed to hear.



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Thomas Trumbull

posted September 24, 2008 at 5:53 pm


Dear Mr. Chopra,
I was wondering if You might/may please heal me.. so I can become Enlightened (at least CC), and maybe be allowed to take the TM- Siddhis Course.
My skull is putting pressure on my brain…. I have poor circulation at the base of my brain, and my brain movement in the skull is limited. A Governor Chiropractor told me this at age 23 or so….. He said “when we breathe in, our brain comes down in the skull, when we breathe out, our brain goes up in the skull”. He said my brain is going up and down, but not as far as everyone else’s.
I’ve practiced TM now for the approx. 29 yrs. ,.. i am 47 yrs. old.
I was born at 1:39:24 PM on 10-17-1960 in Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA (above 10,000 at the time).
If You can’t help me, maybe You can reccommend someone to me. I’ve taken 22 (66 sessions) of MVVT’s, approx. 7 Yagyas, have several Advanced Techniques, did 5 days Pancha Karma in Massachussetts, lived in Fairfield, Iowa for approx. 1.3 yrs., seen the Vaidya approx. 12 times, etc, etc, like that.
My name, address, and contact info is:
Thomas Trumbull
259 Salmon Brook St.
Apt. I3
Granby, CT 06035
USA
email: temail2@yahoo.com
my toll free phone number is: 1-888-277-0034 (answering machine comes on after 2 rings- if i’m home and hear Your voice- I’ll pick up, if i’m not home- pls. leave a message- it’s a women’s generic greeting on my answering machine).
I realize You must get many of these requests. I have a difficult time traveling due to my diet, and I don’t have much money, but I have a love for Bliss as large as any man. I could go on and on… but I must attend to things.
Please help me if it Pleases You To Do So. Any kind of healing would be greatly appreciated…. anonymous long distance healing, etc, etc.
Thank You So Much,
From One Lover of Life to Another,
Jai Guru Dev



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Albert the Abstainer

posted December 29, 2008 at 11:00 pm


A classic and beautiful tale of the relationship between guru and disciple; thank-you for sharing it.
One of the things that challenges is the willingness to surrender to the hands of the teacher. One way of looking at it is that what we are most reticent to let go of is the very thing we must let go of, no matter what that thing is. Another is that I can only do that once my responsibilities to others have been fully discharged.
This raises a question, (and I will use Buddhist terminology since I feel it works very well here): A person who approaches Nirvana but turns back to help others is a Bodhisattva. Which is the better choice, to ease suffering or to enter Nirvana? Are they mutually inclusive?
The Bodhisatva’s Vow
So long as space remains,
So long as sentient beings remain,
I will remain,
In order to help,
In order to serve,
In order to make,
My own contribution.
–Tibetan prayer translated by The Dalai Lama



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Shain

posted June 17, 2009 at 11:52 pm


I heard Deepak lied with him carring Maharishi. Apprently it was reported with the ambulence that the aumbulence people did, not Deepak.



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JAVAHER

posted October 16, 2009 at 10:44 am


PLEASE LET US KNOW MORE FROM MAHARISHI’S IDEA ABOUT THE POLITICS,AND ANY MORE POINT OF VIEWS WHICH THE LATE MAHARISHI HAD AND SHARED WITH YOU.
BEST REGARDS
JAVAHER
TEHRAN



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Sandra L. Lerner

posted September 13, 2010 at 3:34 pm


Thank you for a fine article and great insights into Maharishi and yourself. You obviously made the right decision by breaking away from Maharishi and going out on your own. I’m sure the time you spent with him in India and in England was precious and gave you invaluable knowledge.
I am a TM meditator since 1973, and love my quiet time in meditation. It’s the best time of the day for me! Always has been! But I never was enthralled by the TM movement. I sensed the avariciousness of it, as well as the icy attitude of the immediate leadership in the Los Angeles area. They were cold, self-serving and mostly indifferent to the membership. That was my experience. So I broke away long ago, but never gave up the practice.
I wish I had had an opportunity to spend time with Maharishi as you did. You are so right when you say any casual meditator would have considered it the highlight of a lifetime to have a private audience with him. You are also so right about his lectures, where he repeats the same thing over and over. I found those tapes not very stimulating or enlightening.
I also want to add here that I heard you speak in Pasadena, CA once and very much enjoyed it. Further, I’d like to ask why you keep going on the Larry King show? Larry King is not a very bright man. He’s not open to New Age or spirituality. He doesn’t even really have a large audience any more. I think a lot of people feel about him as I do … not a good interviewer and not too much on the ball. You deserve a better forum. I think it’s a good thing that he’s finally leaving the show.
Thank you again for a very interesting article, full of some interesting information and wonderful insights.
Sandra L. Lerner
Las Vegas, Nevada



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Michael

posted October 16, 2011 at 12:29 am


I’m experiencing what Maharishi described as Unity Consciousness as a 24/7 reality, and have been since the end of 2005. MMY was far beyond Unity! Far beyond!



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Tom Wonsetler

posted October 28, 2014 at 2:46 pm


I see all kinds of opinions on this comment section which reflects peoples levels of developement, as well as personal biases, beliefs, conditioning, etc. as always. I must say that the person who said Deepok is a liar and that he never took care of Maharishi was being very vicious ! Like Deepok said, some people have villianized him for leaving the TM organization. Dont you know that its bad karma to slander Deepok like that ? ! How mean and vicious of you ! And those of you who said Deepok did the “right” thing, how do you know if he did the “right thing ? ! He did what you think you would have done ! But you dont have the slightest idea what was “right” ! Maharishi is certainly a great Spiritual Master ! And Deepok is a great teacher ! I thank both of them for what they have given and give to the world ! I was part of the TM org for many years and lived in Fairfield, Iowa from the end of 1988 til Aug of 1993. Deepok became one of my heroes and I was at one of his lectures. I read some of his books too. And heard some of his tapes. At that time there was quite a divide between the TM admin. and most of the meditators. The meditators were in revolt against the admin which had become dogmatic and rigid and I think somewhat arrogant. In fact I and others were very hurt by them emotionally. But I dont blame Maharishi for it. Spiritual masters are not responsible for what others do ! Nonetheless it helped me a lot to be there that 4 and a half or so years and I am very thankful for it ! During that time I moved on to Shri Shri Ravi Shankar and his Art of Living Foundation and lived for about 6 months at his Ashram in Quebec, while I was on staff and went to several of his retreats at other times also, there and elsewhere. And this helped me even more, much more ! Since then I have moved on to Adi Da Samraj and Adidam which I have discovered is even far more powerful, direct and complete ! Also I was with Shiva Bala Yogi for a short time in the late 80s and early 90s. They have all helped me and I am very grateful to all of them ! These are Sat Gurus, Deepok is a teacher. Sat Gurus transmit Shakti and whatever Samadhi theyre in, teachers teach ! Big difference ! Many people including some on here think they can self guru themselves into Samadhi of whatever level. That is extremely slow and difficult at best and potentially dangerous, so slow that its ridiculous, especially when it can be done so much faster and easier, as well as safely if you do the practice correctly, with a Sat Guru or Transmission Master, who also does many things like dissolves karma, heals, balances, teaches, guides, and helps in many ways ! The benefits are so many including the fact that they will help you in the afterlife and future lives wherever those might be ! I dont know for sure, but I think that Deepok may have gone off on a self guruing trip and doesnt seem to have the same Energy, Power and greatness that he had before when Maharishis Shakti was so powerfully radiating thru and around his body mind system. Ive seen and felt this tremendous change in him since back in the late 80s, early 90s, which is too bad. Its a really big mistake to leave a Sat Guru unless youre moving on to another one for the right reasons and with a lot of gratitude for the previous ones, knowing that youre still spiritually connected to them all and continuing to love and be thankful to them ! Self Guruing doesnt work beyond a minimal degree and is wasting a lot of time and prolonging the suffering and limitations and can generate many illusions such as thinking your much more advanced than you really are. A Sat Guru is SUCH a tremdous blessing and SUCH good fortune ! Im still thankful for what Deepok has given and gives and also Maharishi ! Thanks for this story Deepok ! I hope that you will realize the necessity of a Sat Guru and surrender to one and do their sadhana soon if your not yet !



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