In Sweet Company

In Sweet Company

I Know Your Song

“When people self-organize around their authentic human needs, when they move beyond denial and break out of what I call the ‘social trance,’ when they stop accepting domination and trauma as part of the status quo, partnership values flourish.” — Riane Eisler, IN SWEET COMPANY: CONVERSATIONS WITH EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN ABOUT LIVING A SPIRITUAL LIFE

When a woman of a particular tribe in Africa knows she is pregnant, she retreats into the rain forest with her friends to pray and meditate, to commune with the Universe and with the soul of the unborn child. In response to their prayers, from the depths of their communion, the Universe reveals the child’s song. Once it is made known to them, the women sing the song aloud amongst themselves. When they return to the village, they teach the song to the rest of the tribe. When the child is born, everyone gathers round the baby and sings the child their song.


When the child begins their education, when he or she is initiated into adulthood, when they are married, the tribe once again comes together and sings them their song. When the person is about to pass from this earth, the tribe gathers one last time at his or her bedside and sings them into the next world.

There is one other occasion when the tribe sings a person their song. If at any time  during their life, someone breaks with tribal custom or law the people gather in the center of the village, circle round the person and sing them their song. They do this because they know that the remedy for unlawful or inharmonious behavior is love and the remembrance of your True Identity; that when you hear and sing your own song you have no need or desire to do anything that hurts another.

The members of your tribe — the people who truly love you — are not fooled by the mistakes you make or the darkness you hold about yourself. We see your wholeness when you feel broken, your merit when you feel discouraged. We know your song. We will sing it to you when you have forgotten it. We want you to remember how it goes.

Your thoughts?

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posted August 22, 2010 at 9:20 pm

Such a wonderful reminder of the power of love. I really resonate with the notion of each of us having and knowing our own song – supported by the community from whom it emerged before we were born. Makes me yearn for more grounding rituals. I just hosted a Blessingway for my very pregnant daughter – to honor her and bless her at this time in her life. Next time we will add listening for the song of the unborn!

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Mary Liepold

posted August 22, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Margaret, this is so beautiful! It has the ring of something I’ve heard before, though I don’t know where or when. Maybe that’s just the sound of heart truth ringing true.
I wish I could figure out a way to go back and do this for my grown children!
After I read this I went back and read the rest of your blogs, and each one is lovely. This is my favorite, though. Shine on, dear friend!

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Leonor Rodriguez

posted April 13, 2011 at 9:57 am

What a beautiful ritual. what I love the most about this, is the fact that we don’t need a song, Love in it self is a song and we all feel Love for our children, other family members, extended family, community with live and grow with. Love will overcome the mistakes and the darkness one of our love ones have. It’s a beautiful reminder of the power of Love. Thanks so much and continue to inspire us to continue our growth in Love.


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