Looking for love? It’s all inside of you. I interviewed “The Queen of Self-Love” Christine Arylo on how to celebrate February 13th as Self-Love Day!
First of all, tell us all what Self-Love Day is.
February 13th is the international day of self love, the day before Valentine’s Day. As a culture we put so much focus and pressure on getting love from others, when the most important relationship in our lives is the one with ourselves – it’s where everything starts. You can be the most confident person in the world, but if you don’t love yourself, you end up creating all kinds of self-sabotaging situations for yourself – toxic or unhappy relationships, being extremely hard on yourself, dishonoring your body, working yourself into exhaustion, giving up on your dreams, putting yourself last, and more. I started Madly in Love with ME Day in 2008 as a way to increase awareness about self-love, to help people make self-love an active part of their relationship with themselves and therefore reach our ultimate mission – to create a world in which every girl and boy is born in love with themselves and stays in love with themselves, so that every adult can be both a giver and receiver of love. Imagine what a world that would be! (You can view our Imagine a World of Love video at www.ChooseSelfLove.com)
What will you be doing in anticipation for Self-Love Day?
Each year I host a series of events – some virtual and some in person. I have hosted a big self-love party in Los Angeles and New York City with over 500 other people in cities around the world throwing self-love parties themselves, for 2, 22, or just you. I will also be in San Francisco on the 25th hosting an event www.dayofselflove.com. Every year, I also create the official Self Love Kit which includes a hand-illustrated guidebook that takes you through a super powerful and fun process to take a self-love promise with yourself that you can keep all year long. Personally I will be taking a self-love promise with myself this year. And publicly, I will be leading thousands and thousands through a self-love promise meditation and ceremony. If you’d like to participate, get on my love letter list at www.madlyinlovewithme.com
What exactly is Love Power? How do women lose it and how do we get it back?
Love power is your ability to feel loved based on one relationship only – the one with yourself. Most women give away their love power to other people – mostly in romantic relationships but also in friendships and with family. So when that relationship is going well or it ends, the woman feels a huge loss of love. And because the feeling of losing love is so painful, most of us will do anything – including staying in the wrong relationships – to avoid it. However, when you understand how to plug your love power into the “24/7 downline to love”, you get that love never leaves and you have access to love all the time, no matter who is or isn’t sleeping next to you.
Does Love Power look different if you’re married or if you’re single?
Love Power is the same whether married or single; it just shows up in different ways. Frankly, one of the loneliest times of my life was when I was in a long term partnership, sleeping next to man who was not emotionally or spiritually available. This was because I had given away my love power to him. I gave him the power over whether I felt loved or not. When you are single, you can also feel lonely, thinking that if you just had a mate, that feeling would go away. But in reality, while yes, some of that would fade, it’s a crazy thing to do to yourself to wait for a mate to fill those holes of loneliness. Only you and your relationship to yourself and the 24/7 downline to the divine can really fill those holes. Even in happy marriages, you have to be aware that your spouse can’t fill your love cracks with love, that is up to you.
What should we do on days when we don’t feel particularly lovely or worthy of love?
Two easy, fun and daring things! One, give yourself love by taking a self-love dare. I write and teach lots of these, and some are included in the Self Love Kit at www.chooseselflove.com. One easy one is the Self Love Soak which goes like this – lay in bed, close your eyes, wrap your arms around yourself and tell yourself, “Name, I Love You.” Imagine yourself surrounded in pink light and keep saying it until you feel even a little something. Two, go out and collect evidence of love. Love is everywhere. Love is free. So go out and get yourself some. Take a field trip to find love and let it into your heart. And be open to how it shows up. In a flower, the barista, a dog walking by, witnessing love in others, a sign. Take pictures of the love you see and then come home and write about it. Your love power will start to rev up instantly!