So it’s no secret, I’ve been having a rough time lately. I’ll spare you the gory details. Needless to say, in the past few week I’ve had tears that I felt would never stop and hopes that washed away with them. What can I say? Sometimes, things fall apart.

What’s comforting is that, having been through rough times before, I know the drill. I know about the sleepless nights and lack of appetite. I know what I’m prone to do out of fear or anger. And I’ve decided to do things differently this time.

You see, I don’t believe that every heartbreak has to be the same laborious trial of pain, self-doubt and months of being unsettled. Not every blow is fatal and not all damage is permanent.

So, how does one get on the mend after a heartbreak? Well, as with everything, it starts with a decision. You need to resolve in your mind that you can and will move on.

One of the things that makes loss so difficult is a refusal to let go. You pine; you lament. You go back over every single moment in your mind, hold on to keepsakes and analyze everything you did searching for meaning. Yes, there are lessons to be learned and a little self-examination isn’t a bad thing.

However, here’s the bottom line: some times bad things happen for no reason that will ever make you feel better. And when faced with a situation that you simply cannot fix, it’s perfectly okay to get up and walk away. Just let go. As hard as it seems, you must accept that this particular season in your life is over and decide that you are (or eventually will be) better off.

Note that I didn’t say any of this was easy. Untangling yourself from something (or someone) you fought so hard for can be heart-wrenching and difficult. So, be patient with yourself. Moving forward after heartbreak is a process. It won’t happen over night. As my mother often tells me, one day at a time.

Know that it gets better. The sun will shine again. Every morning, the rest of your life begins, but it’s up to you to let go of the past and seize the new day.

Read More:
5 Ways to Get Over It
What You Can Learn from Pain
8 Ways to Let Go (of a person place or thing)