A lady in waiting… That used to be me.
I spent most of my teens and 20s wanting to get married. No, I mean, really wanting to get married. Sadly, in many ways, my happiness was put on hold for years, because for some silly reason, I thought that life begins after you say “I Do”.
Now, before you give me that look of pity, I’m not the only one. This isn’t just a problem for singles. Everyone does it. Just pick whatever applies to you for this statement: “I’ll be happy after…”
- I get a new job
- I get a new house
- I have more money
- I move
- My annoying neighbor moves
… Or something to that effect. Lots of people are waiting to be happy.
“The future is no place to place your better days” – Dave Matthews, “Cry Freedom”
It wasn’t until I was older that I learned a valuable piece of advice about happiness:
There is no final destination for being happy. There is no stage of eternal gratification where you have everything you want and you’re blissful forever and ever. It won’t happen… at least, not while you’re still alive.
When you get that thing that you’re waiting for, you’ll be happy for a while, but eventually you’ll want something something else. It’s the nature of being human. We want. It’s just something we do.
Plus, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s just different grass. It still needs to be mowed. That new house will need more maintenance than your apartment. That new job will come with tougher responsibilities. And let’s not even start on how much of a major life adjustment marriage is after being single. It’s not to say your life won’t be good, but it will never be perfect and free of effort.
Like I said, a lady in waiting is what I used to be. And it’s not that I’ve given up on my dream. It’s just that it’s not the end-all-be-all of my happiness. My joy is today. My happiness is now. Whatever happens down the line will simply add to it.
Ask yourself, “What am I waiting for? For what am I postponing my happiness?” Life doesn’t begin after a certain event happens. Your life has already started. You need to catch up. So, be content today with what you have right now. Be so deliriously happy with your current situation that whatever good thing that is on the horizon will take you by surprise.
And if you’re single reading this, say “I Do” to your life. Be in love with it. Find contentment in just being you. If you need help read our new gallery: 13 Reasons to Stop Looking for Mr. Right.