Inspiration Report

Inspiration Report


Hope After Loss

posted by Jennifer E. Jones

Last Tuesday’s blog sparked some interesting responses. I wrote on the importance of taking life one day at a time. Don’t fear about tomorrow and try to live in today. A woman wrote:

My husband was killed in a small plane crash. I had worried ever since he got his license and I tried to tell myself he was a good and safe pilot. It’s impossible for me to encourage people not to worry about what could happen now. How do I say to my friend whose husband rides a motorcycle, “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” I am limping through the rest of my life, facing each day with a fear of something really awful happening again.

When tragedy strikes, it can rob your sense of hope. It tampers with your ability to believe in the best that life can offer. How can you be optimistic when you know the worst case scenario not only can happen but already has?

First, you have to deal with the grief and this can take a long time. Loss is a powerful event that can’t be swept under the rug. It’s important to talk to someone to sort out your feelings: a friend, support group, counselor, therapist, perhaps even your doctor. There are people out there who can help you through this process. You don’t have to go it alone.

Eventually, you’ll find your way back to happiness again. Whatever happened to you will no longer hold you prisoner, and the fear won’t compare to the freedom you feel to enjoy life to its fullest.

I don’t think we ever really get over a crisis or “move on”. Instead, we grow. We take all we’ve learned and continue growing. Trusting in the goodness of life is part of that. Instead of dreading the next calamity, we hope for impending joy. I know it’s difficult, but I also know it’s possible. I’ve seen it happen.

We just posted a great gallery on dealing with grief over the weekend. I hope it inspires you.

From Pieces to Peace in Nine Simple Practices

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou



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Anoymnous

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:01 pm


Tell me how I find hope again. A couple of months ago, I found out my daughter was molested, then my step dad had cancer, and then in a matter of 6 months when all of this was happening a man came into my life who I believed was going to be my husband then he left me. And appears not only weeks later to fall out of love with me and in love with someone else. Then I just got a email from my lawyer that says my daughter’s father, who’s brother had molested her” is trying to fight me for her and from the court order that to keep the brother away. In minutes I get the news of this and that my ex, who I have been really depressed about, is falling in love with someone else supposingly when we just broke up. I have never been at a may dark place.



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Samantha

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm


I have a bit of experience with loss and grieving. Not to get really mushy or anything, but to provide a bit of background: my father and I were very close growing up. He and my mom separated when I was in 6th grade. I saw him only once immediately after the divorce, before he decided to remove himself from our lives completely. I didn’t see him again for 4 years until shortly before he died. I don’t think I ever really came to terms with the death (how can you really come to terms with something that big?) and, actually worse, his abandonment of me and our family.

How does this pertain? I am getting over an absolutely horrendous break up right now (I have been for almost a year). This one ripped me to shreads, inside and out. I stopped caring about everything. I started comparing myself to him and everyone else. I all but stopped functioning. I had to teach myself to love myself, gradually, starting small with the little things like remembering to eat 3x a day; going to bed when I was tired was a big one. I tell myself affirmations of sorts everyday, and I am starting to plan my future and give myself goals again.*

When this Love of mine left, he took so much of me with him, I was left with almost nothing. It was all very reminescent of what went on with my father. This tells me, I am not over it. You won’t be either, but, dear, give it some time. Be GENTLE on yourself. Take care of your basic needs first, the ones your body needs to function. A healthy mind, comes from a healthy body. Though, I still struggle on days, I am getting better, but I NEVER thought I would—it felt like such a gaping hole that I was in. It’s true what “they” say: time heals.

I am sure this is a huge loss that will follow you for years, but it doesn’t all have to be bad all the time. Be your own best friend and take it easy for a few months. Re-explore hobbies you once loved and start setting goals (small ones at first). Maybe, just refrain from giving people advice while you’re in this emotional place….it may not be that you’re trying to really help them, but trying to understand your own loss. This is a good reason to just keep talking with friends, or a therapist and find ways to express your emotions without being at their mercy in almost every situation.

Good luck and you have my condolences. :(

*I had the help of a liscensed professional too. I might suggest this if you haven’t already. Losing someone we love is earth shattering. Don’t go through it alone.



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MarleneEmmett

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:15 pm


Yesterday was the 39th Anniversary of the day I had
an abortion in 1973. And all I did was cry.
I’ve had 39 years of depression twice a year cause of the decision my parents made for me.
I didn’t even get a “say in the matter” they never asked
me what I wanted to do they just said you’re having an
abortion not ever thinking what this would do to me.
And what I can’t understand was they adopted a child
when they themselves could’t have chilren.
So why condemm my son,their only grandchild to DEATH?

I wonder what they would say if they knew how much I’ve
suffered over the years since the abortion?
I wonder if they’re sorry for what they did to me?
They never spoke to me about it~ it was just swept under
the table and forgotten about.
I suffered two tramatic losses within the span of 18 months~first the loss of my child and then the loss of
my mother from a inopberable brain tumor.
My baby was killed on March 27th,1973 & mom died 9-27-74
I’ve never noticed it but it was a year to the day.



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Janet

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:16 pm


I hear people talking about their children, grandchildren. Some happy, some complaining. I kept my precious niece Candice the first year of her life and then I had to go back to work. I retired in Dec. 2005, in March 2006, 1 week after Candice’s 17th birthday, her mother found her in bed dead. No drugs, alcohol, etc. She was a church goer, loved life and her friends and family. She was being treated for a urinary infection. They gave her bactrim and said she may have had an allergic reaction, then they mention menongitus (sp). They finally put on her death certificate natural causes. Her body shut down. Why? They never found out. She went to Patient First. This was after a specialist whose office was in a hospital here treated her. Patient First knew she had a high fever, stomach burning inside. Told her to take something for the fever and sent her home. One week after her birthday, she was dead. She said, next year I am having a big party. Her mother lost both breast to cancer, her husband, the love of her life left her, couldn’t deal with it. This was before Candice died. My niece’s death has destroyed my family. There are only three of us whose grief never stops. We go on and we watch other people live their lives, talk about their children, grandchildren, etc. I feel blank. I have more faith in Jesus Christ now then I have ever had in my entire life because I know I would have killed myself without Jesus. But, I will tell all of you, the pain in my heart only Jesus can understand. There is no person, no one who can help except Jesus. I ask for prayers, not for me, but for my niece and my sister, her mother to bear this grief. They stay in church. By the way, I have a wonderful son, no drugs, no alcohol, just a good young man that tries hard. There was two years difference in their ages and they were like brother and sister. I fear every time still when he goes out he won’t come back. Thanks for listening. Janet



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Debra Nichols

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:18 pm


I lost the love of my life last Oct.one year after he was declared 100% dissabled from the service. I retired early and we bought a trailer and a new truck and had such plans which we did do some of them when my husband was told he had pancreatic cancer that had already spread to his liver. We though we had a year at least and he was gone in 3 month, at home in my arms. I thought my life was over and if it wasn’t I wanted it to be. However I sought counseling and prayed Lord take me too. Well I am still here and I am finding I can help other people and it helps me deal with my pain and grieve. Not that I still don’t have days of crying and I still listen to his voice on the recorder and sleep with his pillow case that has never been washed. You can find the strength with God’s help to go on.



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Greg

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:24 pm


I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. Life IS a roller coaster. I went through a painful divorce, the loss of a job, the loss of an idenity, but I’m taking it day-by-day. I trust in the Lord, that we are all on a path, and this gives me comfort. I think having multiple major problems is overwhelming, but trying to pull them apart, and dealing with them little by little, is what has, and is, helping me through things. Good luck with your struggles, I pray for strength and wisdom in your life. :)



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allyssa

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:29 pm


my 18 yr old daughter was 5 months pregnant when they found abnormalities with the baby in a ultrasound. so, she had to give birth to my 5 month old grandbaby and we sat with her until she pasted away 1hour 35minutes later. i’ve been through some tough times in my life, but this was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to deal with and my heart is crushed. i hope there is never a time when someone has to go through that. but, i this day with all the chemicals and shit in the air and food……..who knows what more will happen?



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Angela Booker

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:36 pm


Even though you never forget your loved ones you have lost. Time heals all wounds. And, I have to continue to remember that Jesus is with us when we have pain from losing someone so dear and close to us, whereby he comforts us through the process of healing. I am also reminded that “earth has no sorrow that heaven can not heal.” Just know that Jesus does care for us. He told us that “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. (1 Peter 5:7).



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Elizabeth

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:37 pm


What a fantasic outpouring of emotion in this column. It never ceases to amaze me how much people need to talk about their losses. I am a bereavement counselor and it should not surprise me anymore, but it still does. I think that Samantha’s post was full of natural wisdom, and the wisdom that comes with experience. Her suggestion to take care of oneself (including the basics) is so common sense that sometimes we overlook it. As long as we are able to talk about the loss, there can be healing. When we are not allowed to address it, the sore festers. As difficult as it is, I think that is something that we can do for each other. Listen even if it is painful, and do not tell the person they should be “over it” even if it is 39 years later. I hope that we can compassionately help each other by doing this. There is a reason that we were given two ears and one mouth>



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James

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:39 pm


Anoymous, There is nothing you can do about what has happened in the past. You can only deal with how you are going to handle the grief and get your hope back. As for your daughter, you would need to build on a concentration to protect her first and your own well being. It will be hard, but you need to realize that by the ex boyfriend leaving your life you will actually be better off. It may hurt now, but if he was not able to stay with you when you needed someone most….why would you want him back? Your daughter, whatever her age,
will only need to tell the court who molested her and you can end that issue very easily. If you can otherwise provide for her, no court would take her away from you. The truth is what needs to be pressed. The cancer of your step Dad is in his hands and you can give him all the support you can while you gain your strength back. In all issues I would pray several times a day in all sincerity. I have never known that to fail. Over time you can learn to find happines
without a man and when you are comfortable enough in your life without one….the right man may notice and be interested. The right man will be more interested if finds someone who does not just need
someone so they think they can be happy. They will be more attracted to someone who is already happy in life, but is willing to share
that happiness and love with someone else. Some day you will understand what I mean. Just have patience and faith. You will be much stronger when you get through what you must get through.



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Jo

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:44 pm


My mother and I were very close, but 10 years ago she died suddenly of a heart attack. My world fell apart. I remember trying to keep myself busy, but I didn’t allow myself to grieve. The the next year, my stepson (whom I was very close to as well) was in a car accident. someone hit him head on. He was airlifted to a hospital 2 hours from our home. We lived in that town for two months until we got him to a hospital near our home. Then 10 months after the crash he died. In the meantime I lost my father-in-law and mother-in-law, two dogs and broke my back in a fall. I then took in my dad 4 years ago and while working full-time I was his caregiver for a year until he passed away. Thank goodness for my husband and son. But sometimes I’m not strong enough to hold them up too. Time does heal, but my heart still aches.



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Deborah Robertson

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:47 pm


It helps to see others that have went through this with possitive advice- I lost my husband after 32 years of marraige- we went on vacation and for some reason which I fail to understand he had a BOWEL OBSTRUCTION stayed in the hospital with complications for a month released one day died the next morning- this has been the worst thing i have ever experienced in my life to lose my husband after him getting released from the hosp. and we thought out of danger was and still is devastating for me. I do trust and depend on Jesus to carry me through this. This happened June 25th of 2010 but it feels like yesterday to me.



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Jeanette Purifoy

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:52 pm


On June 25 1996 I was hit with a devasting phone call. One of my twins has been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition in a Dallas hospital about 4 hours away. Being in shock I called my husband at work with the news. On his arrival we packed and hit the road. On arrival at the hospital we was met my oldest daughter who was pregnant at the time and the other twin. The nurse on duty filled us in and allowed us to go into the room to see her. I freaked out when I saw how bad she was. She was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and machines. She had so much swelling that I hardly recogized her. I almost passed out and was carried from the room. The Dr. came in and gave us no hope of her living a normal life even if she lived. On Friday night June 28, 1996 we had the decision to take her off of life support. At 9:00pm she was gone.I prayed to God to give us strength to make it through is difficulty time. It took years before I finally let her go. It took a lot of crying fasting and praying to get me to this point. It has been 12 years since this happen and God has been faithful in helping through this. There is no pain and sorrow that Jesus can’t heal. I know that all things work together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose.I thanks God for allowing me to be able to share my experience with others. It truly has made me a better person with more compassion for others.



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JJ

posted March 28, 2011 at 4:56 pm


One tear jerker after another, how sad.
I just had a birthday, I’m in my sixties!I can’t even believe it.
My family is dropping like flys and all I can do is cry. Ea year I loose 2-3 family members. Most importantly is the loss of my dear mother who lived and died for her kids, that was 2 years ago. My dad of 50 years followed her almost a year ago. My niece passed of cancer at 50 years old, my little brother died shortly after. I adopted my step mother and for a year we were so close until she had a hernia and was gone. My uncle passed a week ago and I am feeling very helpless and hopeless. Even thou this pattern may be normal, I’ve never felt so depressed in all my life. I seem to have no purpose to even get out of bed in the morning. There is no one left to tell me, “It’s going to be ok.”



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Billie Jo

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:00 pm


Hi My name is Billie Jo I lost my best friend Nesta whom is also my baby sister Jan.21 2011. She just got home from a rehabilation center for having surgery on her stomack. She had problems breathing but she didn’t want to go to the hospital. We shared an apartment together because my husband died from cancer March 23 2005, Then I lost my oldest daughter on October 19 2010. But back to my sister, I listen to her and didn’t call 911. But she kept breathing awful and I yelled at her I am calling 911 wheather you like it or not. Well she died in her bed and I feel Like I am the one who killed her. So how do you get over something like that? I moved away so I couldn’t remember but that don’t work cause the memories follow you. I cry every day and I cry myself to sleep at night, that’s when I can sleep. Plus I guess I really need some help but can’t afford it I have no insurance to cover it, I moved all the way to Georgia from Maryland don’t know anyone down her but my daughter. So how do you get help I can’t talk to her she has her own problems to deal with. Caqn someone please tell me how to get help. Thank you for listening to me.



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gustave verdult

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:07 pm


Stay close to God and develop an understanding that this life, for all of us, ends at one time but an eternity awaits us. Focus on the eternity with being in the presence of God’s happiness, a joy that is not known to this world. Offer up your cross to Him in all things and pray for His enlightenment, He will give it to you in the manner and degree you humble yourself.
gustaveverdult.com



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:09 pm


My life has been filled with loss. My dad died when I was 11 years old. My mother raised me and my brothers. I didn’t have my dad to walk me down the aisle. I was married in 1980 had 2 beautiful girls and me and my husband did the best for the girls with taking them on vacations and putting them in private schools. My mother got sick, had her leg amputated and I took care of her and also working full time. My mother passed away in 2005 and then my husband passed away in 2007. Now I am the full supporter of my two girls which live with me and work and 1 has graduated and 1 is still in school. I want to know when will this ever end. It is very hard to have 2 incomes and go down to 1 income after my husband died. I miss him very much. Also, my brother passed away 1 year ago. I feel my life is going downhill and when I am home alone I scream and cry and I am most of the time angry at the world. Why me???



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Alicia

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:20 pm


We all know that death is a part of life. As humans we deal with this in many different forms. First I would like to say that time DOES NOT heal all wounds, Jesus Christ does. I’ve lost many. In 1994, I lost my son, and never thought I would be the same. In 2003, my grandmother-cancer, 2004 my husband-heart attack, 2009 my brother-cancer, 2010-my fiance,the only man I had been with since my husband, found out he had end stage renal failure and passed away in his sleep.
We were to be married in Jan 2011.

At times like this I’ve learned to always be grateful and always be thankful. It’s really hard to think like that but you must look in your heart and find the strength to move forward. I take great comfort in knowing that they are all at peace. I also take great comfort in knowing that one day I will be reunited with them.

Each loss was extremely difficult, my son was the worst. I cannot describe the range of emotions that I have felt assocaited with his death. I wish no parent had to ever feel that.

Always remember God is always with us, in everything we do. Put him first, and everything else will work out in his plan. He will not put anything more on us than we can handle.



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Louise

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:23 pm


On December 25, 2009, my family lost our three year old niece unexpectedly. January 2010, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. In October, we were told that mom would pass in the next few months. My sisters and I took turns going home to care for her. While caring for her, my sister died unexpectedly in January. Two weeks before mom passed, I almost died from a severe infection. While in the hospital all I could think about was my sister telling me that we are all dying young (we had also lost a sister four years earlier) So in March, we had the cremated remains of our sister placed with our mother and buried them both next to our sister that passed four year earlier. There are four of us left and none of have any peace in our lives. My life is a disaster- financially and emotionally. I can accept losing my mom but losing two people in one year unexpectedly is the hardest thing to live with. I am surprised by my faith. I actually have faith. I believe that time will heal all things. I am blessed with wonderful sisters and friends. And I have HOPE. Hope that we will get through this tribulation. Hope that we will have peace in our lives again. Hope that we will enjoy life. Hope that I will hear good news once in awhile instead of some one else suffering from cancer or loss. I guess all I can say now is that I AM STILL HERE! I have been through hell on earth and I am still here with Hope.



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Mary

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:32 pm


In December,2010 my younger sister, 46yrs old, died in a car accident. That was bad enough, but then her husband had a heart attack in February and died. He was only 48. They didn’t have a will and his parents won’t let her family into the house. What we did get were her clothes and cats. And you want to hang onto everything. His parents want what they can sell.
I try to keep in mind all of the wonderful memories I have of spending time with my sister and her husband. Of her growing up and the time we were together as I helped raise her, since Mom passed when sis was 8 and I was 23. I cry and feel sad and then remember that she is with God and her husband and our mother. And hopefully, I will be able to join them when it is my turn to pass.
It is not easy, but it will become easier.



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Maggie Williamson

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:39 pm


In 2006 my husband of 30 years died if cancer following a very short illmess; six month after his death I moved t another state to be closer to my only chid and her family. When I moved I also movedmy 85 year old father could not leave him he would have been alone. After 10 months my father died and now I am all alone; some time I feel loke O am losing my mind and I be so depressed. How do you get over that? I stay in the house week in and week out where I live if you don’t have a car you can not move. I am just here all alone; its not easy to bounce back it will soon be five years for my husband and three years for my father. My mother died 44 years ago. Wgat do ine to do?



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Christine

posted March 28, 2011 at 5:47 pm


I’m reading these and sobbing , my sister wrote me a 5 page letter telling me how selfish a person I I was, that I had no compassion. I thought I got on real well with my big sister,our family life wasn’t easy , our parent didn’t tell us a lot of truths about their backgrounds, but they loved us in their own way and did their best to bring us up. I fell apart we I received this letter my husband took me to therapy, but to this day those two words are imprinted in my head they never leave. My sister died 3years ago we did sort of discuss this before she died, but it never leaves me those 2 words. I pray and pray sometimes I wonder I’f my God can hear me some days are easier to deal with some days I just can’t deal with those 2 words.



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richard

posted March 28, 2011 at 6:17 pm


just yesterday i was crying and praying to God for help.I had a wonderful relationship ( i thought ) with a woman who is beautiful inside and out.It was her inner beauty that captured me.Now it’s gone , because i became needy.So James @ 4.39, what you had to say about that with relationship to ladies needing to find happiness without a man etc etc resonated with me.Perhaps this blog at this time is God’s way of answering my anguished prayer. I fully empathise with all the previous commentators – there is no hole so painful and deep than experiencing the loss of a loved one.It has happened to me many times over the years,and each time i dread the next day.But somehow I have got to 71, and really alone again.Take care of the little things , one person encouraged.But each day i go through the motions.Thank the Lord for this blog,just to know that I am not alone and there are others out there who are or have been experiencing the same pain,and have words of encouragement.



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Been There

posted March 28, 2011 at 6:18 pm


Dear Anoymnous,
Having to deal with mean, and their lies, and their so easily on to number next, is something that will have to just go to the way side for now..Concentrate on your daughter, the step father with cancer, that is unfortunate also, and I’m sure your heartbroke, but you must attend to your daughters needs and feelings, she is your first priority without you and your strength, she will have none either.
God Bless and Best Wishes



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wanda

posted March 28, 2011 at 7:11 pm


I lost my only sibling a brother Jan. 2-2011. I am a church going believer. He did not go to Church, but he knew the Bible from Genesis to Revelations. There was a lot of religious material in his home. Example a Picture of the Last Supper on his wall. I have been asking God to show me in some way that he is with him. I don’t know what to do I am stressed to the limit. Please someone help me.



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Psalmstris

posted March 28, 2011 at 7:11 pm


Billie Jo,
If you need someone to talk too, email me. I too used to live in Maryland and moved to Mississippi after my Mother’s death a year ago. I don’t have a degree as of yet but I have two ears to listen and a shoulder to cry on.

God bless you, and I hope to hear from you.

Glenda



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Lady G

posted March 28, 2011 at 7:16 pm


At the age of 43 when all in life was going great one Saturday I went to visit my mother after leaving her house I was called and told my uncle had fallen and was on his way to the hospital. After spending 8 hours at the hospital he passed away. We buried him the following week in SC and the next day attended a wedding. Three days later I was fired from my Job and 2 months later I lost my aunt. All this happened within the first 90 days of a new year. I’m a christian woman and pray very often. I realized that God is in control and that he would give me strength to make it day by day. I get up early and seek God, Cry to God when I’m hurting and when I get up off my knees I feel so much better. Last year September I was diagnosed with a slipped disc in my neck and again I continued to seek and ask God to strengthen me because I needed surgery. February 10, 2011 I had surgery on my neck and everything went well and I’m now recovering from the surgery. I just celebrated a birthday and all I could do is say Thank You God for allowing me to see another Birthday after all I have been thru. I try to take one day at a time and one situation at a time no matter how many situation I encounter in one day I just take my time pray about it and tell God “Don’t let nothing happen that him and I cannot handle”.



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Ruready60

posted March 28, 2011 at 7:47 pm


Life is but a rainbow full of light and dark color’s. We only need not to worry for with every rain storm there come’s yet another one. With all beauty surrounding it is only our choice if we live to see it or not. Stress can cloud so much beauty but yet we have all have felt it. It’s not the greif of losing someone but the selfishness of our on refuseing to move on and letting our love ones that continue to live enjoy our company. Love lost is only for a moment it is replaced as soon as we lose our selfishnees.I say live life and stop fighting those who that love us and enjoy us Amen brother



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Trish05

posted March 28, 2011 at 8:40 pm


I read all the blogs on here, and my heart goes out to everyone of you. My husband, all our married life, was a womanizer, and a pathological liar. I don’t know why, we have four beautiful daughters, really beautiful. I’m sure he loved them, in his own way, but, thatdidn’t keep him from running around, and neglecting them, and me. I couldn’t leave him, I had no way of supporting them, and me. And, he never gave me a penny, to help. My mother, and step-father paid the rent, and bought groceries, while he was out, and his mother covered for him. When he would finally decide to come back, I had to let him, since, my mother and step-father were supporting us. Well, he died, August 23rd, 1992,and by that time, my daughters were married, and they, and their husbands were working. I raised my oldest daughter’s daughter, from infancy. When my husband died, I had finally found a job, at the state of Maryland, Social Services, as a Casemanager. Actually, I was hired, in July 1983. Immediately, I started putting money away, for a rainy day. Which did come. By the time, he died, I had almost $10,000.00, in his IRA. Thank God for that.I sed most of that to bury him, not knowing, I would be paying taxes on it, when April 15th, rolled around. I always had food in the house, and kept the mortgage up, (with God’s help)and kept the bills paid. Here it is, end of March 2011, and everyone has gone, gotten married, and I, too, am alone. My daughters live within a radius of about 30 miles from me, but, they are busy, working, and taking care of their families. I never married, again. I did fall in love, again, though. He was wonderful, he had been a Catholic priest, out of the priesthood, for over 10 years. He decided, to go back in, after talking to the Cardinal, and Bishops. They gave him the okay, and though, I know he belonged to god, I was too deeply in love with him. Though he went back into the priesthood, we could not stay away from one another. He went to Nevada, to teach at U.N.R. But, whenever we got the chance, we met somewhere in the U.S., and had wonderful times, the time we spent together. I met him once in chicago, to go to Iniana, (South Bend) to watch Notre Dame beat Pittsburgh. I caught my plane a day or so later, as did he. At Thanksgiving, we talked on the phone, and he let me know he had prostate cancer. I was devastated. He wouldn’t go thru the Chemo, and radiation, here, in the U.S., so he went to the Bahamas, where he could go through treatment, without the Chemo, etc. Well, when he came back to the U.S., he was in the act of dying. He wouldn’t let me come to him, I think it was because, he had lost a lot of weight, and didn’t want me to see him. I begged him, to let me come out to Reno, but he stood fast. The day before he took his last breath, he called me, i couldn’t understand him, very little voice left. After he passed away, in 2005, I am now, having dreams of him, almost every night. And, I don’t know why, after all this time. I still adore him, though, he’s gone, I don’t go out with anyone, except my daughters, and one good friend, that belongs to a Protestant Church. She is like a sister to me. My only sister committed suicide in 1986, in Sacramento, and I couldn’t find her til it was too late. So, here am I, alone, with my memories of my beloved, and my sister, and it does get very lonely. Sometimes, I awaken, thinking I will call him, but, then, I know I can’t. God, and His Son, Jesus Christ, is getting me thru this, slowly, but, I don’t think it will ever be over.



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Debbie

posted March 28, 2011 at 9:16 pm


I don’t have any idea as to find hope of being happy as I lost my oldest daughter to a motorcycle accident her 1st anniversary is in a couple of weeks I find each and everyday a struggle just to get up and go to work, i have gone to counciling and talked to friends but I just can’t seem to find happy, I put on a smile and do my job and it takes all the energy that I have,I also 5 other children and I find myself thinking what is going to happen next.I try to be positive but I always get that negative feeling and fear the worst.It makes you a different person, I would like to know how to be happy and not cry most of the time.



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Frank

posted March 28, 2011 at 9:46 pm


I met this woman a year ago. We then became very good friends after three months and found myself falling in love with this woman.
She is a single mother of two and hardly making it on a 300 dollar a month check from Child Suport.
My heart went all out for her and began helping her with her bills, setting my own bills aside..She had some serious problems involving family members whom she had grown up with.
I found my self turned into her personal punching bag everytime someone from her side of the family took advantage of her. I took the abuse and continued to love and help her still. i loved her unconditionally Kids included. Every time her children became ill, she had no money to pay for their medicine. I willingly bought the medicine they needed. It seemed like the more I helped, the more angrier she got. There were also times I felt used. make a long story short, I believed GOD put us both on the same path and honored GOD for the blessing I’ve recieved.
Now she refuses to talk to me and tore my heart to shreads. I pray to GOD each and every day to give me strength to keep on going. I dont know what to do and lost my meaning of life. I have faith GOD will see me through this.but it still hurts so bad. I ask , who ever reads this letter, to pray for cuz my prayers alone is just not working for me. God Bless and keep you all..SAFE!



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Frank

posted March 28, 2011 at 9:50 pm


I have no place to live and call home and now struggling to pay my own bills



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Pat Montgomery

posted March 28, 2011 at 10:47 pm


I have been happily married to wife of 27 years when in February 09 she contracted diabetes that took her sight at age 46 in both eyes. It seems even seeing doctors on a regular basis, they didn’t catch it sooner in that it may have been around much longer. With the great world of science, it seems we lack the ability to do eye transplants, because I gladly offered one of mine but to no avail. I am 56 and will spend whatever it takes to find her relief from the pain of the recent loss of sight. I too suffer from watching this angel suffer through this, though I know through God all things are possible. I will continue to deliver up my daily prayers for her restoration of sight and find ways to make her happy. I encourage others to find in their hearts to seek God first and leave it to him to provide the relief for God will provide for his children and give us only so much as we can handle. My prayers are for God to bless us all!



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shirley

posted March 28, 2011 at 10:51 pm


Been there:Ilost the most important thing in my life,my only child he was my pride and joy.Just finish high school and starting college and comming home for the weekend and he and two other kids killed on their way home.I knew that it had been a wreck in the way that they come home but never thought that it would be my child.But when i did find out that it was my child my world just crumbled.I meet the person that did it and he just broke down to us.He tolde us how sorry he was that ithappen but at fist we wanted to fight the man but we saw his kids standing and crying with him for what he had done.Then we felt for them because he will have with this for the rest of his life.Its going on five years and i still look at his pictures and toys an cry.every red bird we say that he is looking down at us.Because after we buried him there were seven redbirds in my yard when i went back home.They say that it was seven angles let me know that he is in heaven.But today it i still hard.But a broken heart will mend But never stop hurting.His mane is still called by his cousins.Thanks to GOD i can make it each day.



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Lea

posted March 29, 2011 at 12:17 am


April 4th will be 3 years since my son took his life; he had just turned 21. He had suffered from depression, but somehow he was hiding it well; also attending junior college and making excellent grades…he would call me on the cell phone and with excitement tell me he made a 97 on his exam…I told him that when I get home from work that we should celebrate; but when I got home, he refused to talk;not knowing what he was thinking…talked to my husband about his behavior and his response was…these kids…maybe it’s just a stage…I didn’t go by my instinct that something was wrong…until the next day…a deputy came to my house and told me the most horrific news of my life…Gregory killed himself…Dear God please forgive me for not insisting on Gregory to talk with me. I should know better, I’m a registered nurse! I have since returned to work 5 months after; have struggled to keep my energy level high enough to make it through the day. All I know that God has been there for me; he knows what it is that I will learn for this; helping others, strengthening myself through the process. Griefing takes time; and allowing oneself to go through the process. I don’t rely on anyone to know what to say to me…sometimes people say dumb things…better yet just having their presence and understanding is enough. I appreciate all the prayers from family, friends and the blog to share my story. May God give you all strength and bring you up from the pain and hardship. With Love.



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Jeanie

posted March 29, 2011 at 1:04 am


I too have experienced a series of deaths, my Husband of thirty-seven yrs. seven mos. and twelve days, to Doctors who were too busy to find a tumor in his leg. One and a half yrs., and fourteen differant Doctors later, I found out, after the third time they cut into his leg, he had cancer that spread into his lungs. They could not sew the leg up the third time because they could not stop the bleeding, he had five units of blood transfusions, a large tumor grew out of the back of his leg, it was a medical disaster. he died three mos. later. This man never smoked, or drank, or cussed, he just worked hard, and loved his family. I did not sue the Doctors, medicine is a practice, Doctors do kill some Patients, they save others. I know that my Husbands date of death was in his book of life the day he was born. We worked eighteen yrs. together running 500 head of cattle, that we had raised over a span of thirty yrs. I lost the cattle to the fifty yr. drought in 2007, no water, no grass. Left the ranch that was my home for thirty-five yrs. It has been nine yrs. ago, I am still very depressed most of the time, I wonder if I will ever be happy like I once was. I have become a total recluse. I find myself always looking for the other shoe to drop. The Country I live in has changed so much, it’s plumb depressing. I pray most of my days, I pray for our Country, everyone who is hurting, I wonder if I will ever see people laughing and smiling. I pray for our soldiers. I live with hope, but any little thing can reduce me to tears. I don’t look over my shoulder, I don’t want to plow a crocked row. I live with hope, and great expectations, however I have not made any progress since my trials and tribulations. I believe I must be a lost soul. I fear for our Country, and wonder if we can ever be the great nation we once were. Without God in our lives, there will not be much hope for this Country. Thru God all things are possible, but this nation has become so out of balance, it makes me sick. I will pray till the cows come home, I will pray, and wait on the Lord.



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Theresa

posted March 29, 2011 at 1:49 am


I just loss my husband of 29yrs. We don’t know what he died of and that’s hard. I’m angry, bitter, and mad as hell. I know God has his reason for taking him but its not fair to take someone so young and my children. What to say to them? My daughter telling me her dad will not see her graduate; he will not be there to walk he down the isle. our grandchildren will never know there pops. I want to die but I know I have to be the glue for the family now. I had just loss 3 important people in my life.(my dad,my grandmother, and my godfather)and now my husband.Now what GOD is the only thing holding me up. I have to put my husband in a box Wednesday,I don’t know how I’m going to cope with this loss the pain is unbearable. People are asking what happened I don’t have answers so I can’t give them any. He was loved my everyone the funeral home will not be big enough for all the people to pay there respect to him. All I can say is GOD need a good angel more than we needed him. I just pray for strength to get through this tragedy.Right now it one foot in front of the other. God Bless everyone.



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peanut

posted March 29, 2011 at 9:11 am


I have looked at all the post’s that people have written and my thoughts and prayers are all with you I’m experiencing some grief, anger and every other emotion that just swings in when it wants too my husband of only 1 yr filed for divorce on me on Feb. 14th 2011 I was served divorce papers while I was at work I left because there was emotional abuse, and some physical abuse not much but there was some I left my husband on Feb. 08 2011 because he hit me and then I find out that he had a beer pong party exactly 1 week after I moved out if he was that unhappy why didn’t he tell me why did he have to wait to hurt me so much to a point to where I left and it made me look like the bad guy who didn’t care about my marriage or the 5 yrs that was invested in this relationship I’m trying to have a good out look on this situation and I have looked at post’s that are far worse than mine I wish maybe someone can say something that I’m not crazy for having these feelings anyone ???

with much respect



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Stephanie

posted March 29, 2011 at 9:45 am


Hello as I read all these post it touches my heart in a great way to know I’m not alone in losing a loved one!!! I recently lost my sister she passed away march 3 2011!!! She was 42 yrs old she left behind a son 21 two daughters 20&16 yrs old!!! I have a brother and another sister!!! We were all so close 4 peas in a pod!!! We took my sisters death as a shock not us!!!! We were raised as children in church toghther lost our way but god always brought us back to church!!! I was hurt and felt like I couldn’t live anymore when I found out my sister was killed!! But through prayer and god I can now see the purpose of my loss!!! God has truly blessed my family by taking my sister!!! I rejoice and am very happy for my sister because she is in heaven our real home!!! This earth we live in is our hell it’s not our home our home is in heaven!!! And she is there waiting for us to come home when our time is done here!!! From that night I lost her here on this earth I thought I couldn’t go on!!! Buy now I know I have to because I live for god and I want all my family to see my sister again in heaven!!!! I now gave peace and she visits me often in dreams and visions!!! And she shows me she’s happy and so beautiful!!!! I still miss her of the flesh but I know in spirit she is with me!!! All I can say is trust in god have faith and pray everyday as if it were your last!! We are not promised tomorrow!!! But eternity in heaven!!! We are in borrowed bodies on borrowed time!!! Our loved ones were never ours they didn’t belong to us!!! They belong to our father in heaven!!! God bless and keep your head up only down in prayer!! God loves us all!! Let’s all learn from loss and gain a higher power let’s join god in heaven even more now than ever!!!!! Thanks for listening!!! For god so loved the world he gave his only begotten son!!!!



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Angela

posted March 29, 2011 at 10:21 am


Its our thinking our fear that holds us back… it is only normal to feel pain and fear after you lose someone you love…But I believe everything happens for a reason, good or bad is for us to learn and to become stronger… We must change our thinking the false beliefs that we have for ourselves… I lost 5 people in one year.. the pain was so intense i became depressed and insted of accepting the grief process I made things worse by believing “whats going to happen to me next?” why me poor me?… What have I done to deserve this?… and then I realize there are no guarantees in life.. the people we love they will not always be there… the fear of fear brings more fear that keeps up paralized from our everyday life… our negative thinking such as my own” whats going to happen to me next?” brings more negative things in our life….. we create our future based on our thoughts….. so why choose to think negative??? Let the healing process come naturally accept the loss of a loved one, and think positive that everything will be ok….. smile and be happy :) <3



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Ruready60

posted March 29, 2011 at 12:03 pm


This is 4 Peanut

Just yesterday my marriage of 3 and a have years ended. I was with my wife at the hospital as soon as they took her in too be worked on I headed to the court house. I was only 10 minutes away and drove her truck. I told what I was planning on doing and she was ok with not that i need her permissiom. I put my wife first and told my mothwr that it was in gods hands. I wanted so much for this marriage to work we have a 4 year old boy. We have been living apart for a year now and her lawyer is very sneeker along with the woman i feel in love with. Well my wife olest son died 16 months ago and she is still greiving she has been to 2 head doctors and they have her on zanx sleeping pills and other things. What i am saying she hasnt been in her right mind since her son has died. She has not been back to work at a job she worked for 35 years they are paying her workmans comp i guess. The point i am making is that i went to that courtroom and stood up in front of the judge and asked him to give me 7 more days that my wife was in the hosbitay and that she couldnt be here and that she was on all kind of pills and that i didnt think she was in the right state of mind to ask for this divorce. He turned me down and the divorce went through. I then ran back to the hospital and waited on my now ex wife to be finshed up on. The nurse told me that she had some papers she wanted me to sign well i was no longer her husband. I explained to the nutrse what had just happened and i signed anyway. When the doctor came out to tell how she was doing he explained to me that he wishes he had know she was on zanxes. I told him well i have no ideal what or how much she takes he said that he couldnt knock her out with the nomal dose that he had to give her what u call a big boy dose and looked at me with concern I then told him that i had just came from the court house and that we were no longer married. I had to take her to another hosiptal because they couldnt see anything with the scope there. When we got at the other one they handed us some paper work that came out of the computer that had imformation on it like who to cotact in case of something and i was to suprised to see hers sisters name on there. Well then i looked where it said divorced on the paper and thought to myself what the hell the paper work hasnt even made it through the clerk of courts office. I pointed these little things out to my now ex wife and told hell there good they must have people setting in the courtroom up there to know that we are divorced that fast. She then got up and went and talked to a woman and 5 minutes later came back and it not had married and me to contact. When i asked her why she did this she explained to me that her mother had been married twice to the same man.Well we didnt get home to 3 and she left my house at 6 the thing is PEANUT is that i think God was in that courtroom with me and he told that judge to say no and that to stay away from this woman and live life again. This is my first day of being single and i am at home on this damm computer but i am also with u peanut and hope this has helped some live your life and leave that sorry bastard along u deserve better i know it and u know it. Ask me how i know it if he will hit a woman then he will also cheat steal lie and be a sorry daddy for your kids dont have kids with this man i will pray that god will show u the way amen



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Mary

posted March 29, 2011 at 12:04 pm


Loss is not unique to anyone . . . We all have had or will have loss. It often feels like there is no reason to look forward to tomorrow, but forward is how life is lived. I lost my husband of 17 months and 21 days to a drunk driver. He was my soul mate. That was over 30 years ago – and I have never found another with whom I felt I was joined at the heart without having to be joined at the hip. My baby sister passed before her 50th birthday to cancer. While it devastated me, it nearly killed our parents. I lost both of them just over a year ago – within 3 months of each other. They had been married over 65 years. Mom went first and I believe Daddy died of a broken heart.
I haven’t crawled into a hole because I know that there is a plan, greater than I will ever understand, to all of this. I ache for the companionship of my husband, sister and parents, that is gone, but I treasure each and every memory. God gets me through each day – some are better than others – but I know that God has me in His loving arms. And one day, I’ll see my family again. . .



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Teresa

posted March 29, 2011 at 1:49 pm


I have been trough the mud in the last 3 years so I feel all of your pain seems everyone has a story….my sister almost lost my neice she was born premature and weighed 1 pound and 9 ounces and they at the hospital worked with her and she made it trough some how and now the last six months I have been so depressed I lost my sister and bestfriend who was seven months pregnant to a tradgic car accident some days all I want to day is cry…. & IT SEEMS NOBODY UNDERSTANDS..WE WERE CLOSE AND FOUR YEARS APART BUT I WOULD HAVE done anything for her she knew and vice versa anyway I believe I am crazy my nephew is with us he is 6 and my daughter are 12 and 6 the adored my sister…my oldest looks just like her from a distance….the baby name was already pick baby Daniel…and that day was the worst of my life I think they could have saved the baby anyway we had a bad arguement that day and I never got to say I luv you or dont go…so if you got a chance to say I luv YOU to someone you love before the go plz do so! because once they are gone its to late….I have other medical problems to seizures and stuff….I feel like It should have been me not her…so now my family is suffering on both sides of this i thought my bro was goning to kill me that night I am ashamed to because I have bi-polar disorder and have to take so much meds and nobody understands not even my mom or my kids…I am rambling so if you read this ….thx and God bless! teresajgrubb08@yahoo.com peace and luv to my STacey and Daniel I LUV you and will miss you forever and always not a day goes by I dont think of you! xoxo



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Carole

posted March 29, 2011 at 1:59 pm


Where to start? I lost my step Father in 96. So my Mother wanted to move by me. So I went and helped her move her 5th wheel here in 97. She had to have another heart surgery in 98. She did not wake up. So I lost her in 98. Then in 2003 found out my husband had pancreatic cancer. We got him started with Kemo once a week. Second treatment he was feeling good. Well then all the side effects started. Therefore he was not able to have his treatments, but still had to be at hospital every week. The 4th week they had to put a unbrella in his blood vane to keep clots from going to heart or brain. One family memeber came to hospital every treatment. My husband had gotten a life policy years before he met me. So it was in this family memebers name as Benn. As time went on, I could see my husband was NOT getting any better, ONLY worse. That family memeber had told him to not put anything in my name, as IRS would take all, as I would not be able to pay for all treatments, WHICH was not true. Medicare and Medicad paid for all. My husband trusted him to do the right thing and take care of me!! As time went on, he was not able to think clearly. He told the family memeber to make sure and take care of ME!! The policy was 50,000.00. Well as we all know, GREED was THERE!! My husband wanted me to have the house forever. To make a LONG story short, the family member got Harley, His Car, and his house. I was in house for 1 and half years. On new Years Day, Family member came in and handed me papers. It was a lease to live in MY house. I had to pay him rent!! It was a month by month lease. It was not certified, so I should have known NOT to sign it. I was still in OZONE layer. As when I was in hospital last days, ALL ALONE, On the 3rd day the room was Full. We sat there and had to watch him gasp for each breath for 8 long hours. The Lord was with me. He helped me not to cry, but to hold his hand and after 7 half hours, I leaned to his ear and told him, honey, it is ok. I will be fine. Do you see the light? That is God. He wants you to go to the light. He was torn between staying here or going to God. Right at work time 8am. He passed. I felt the warmth in the air. I stated to all in room, GOD IS HERE !!! They all looked at me like I had lost my MIND!! Sad but true, You can not trust anyone. I lost everything we worked so hard for. My Daughter let me move in a Mobile home they had empty. It was ok. I was missing my house, my life. The family Hates me. WHY??? I have no idea. I do not have anything to do with any of them. The 50,000 was gone in less then 2 years. I was never helped with one bill, no food. NOTHING!! So not only have I lost my Love and all we had gotten in years. I miss him so very much. It is very hard to deal with. The house has now been sold. But I have the Lord with me each day that passes. Our Lord is GREAT!! I live on very little money, hard to even be able to eat each month. When I am down and out, the Lord helps me through each day. THIS IS NOT WHAT MY HUSBAND WANTED !!! He knew it would be very hard for me to live on this fixed income. I have had back surgery, and it has went bad. So walking and doing anything is a struggle for me. But as others, I go each day at a time. I know that I will be ok. It will be 7 years this year. There is not one day that I pray and God knows my needs. NOT MY WANTS!! I never ask WHY? I never question God. You are not to do that. I just know in my heart I am alone, depressed alot. I just get my Bible out and I feel that warm feeling again. God is Great. Without him, I could never have been strong enough to do what I had to do in the hospital. The family memebers did not come for 2 days. At the end the room was full of loved ones. Friends and part of the family. Never trust family. I am sorry to say, BUT I was done VERY WRONG!!!! I do not have to answer for these actions. God is there for us. Trust in God. I do !!! God Bless All Of you. Please Pray for me to. I am so lonely, and sad. AMEN to ALL who reads my story.



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Maria

posted March 29, 2011 at 2:24 pm


Psalm 24:1 says: The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it,the world, and all who live in it; So, Stephanie you’re right we all belong to the Lord. I had an exact situation like Lea, my 18 year old son committed suicide, and I never saw the sign of depresion or problems of any kind. He knew the Bible from left to right, but remember evil exists and this world is full of it. Therefore, we need to keep our hearts guard through prayer and constant communication with God. Ephesians 1:11 says: In him we were also chosen,[e] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will. Everything happens for a reason, the death of my son tore my heart and of my family, just 8 months before that my best friend my heroe my father passed, and 1 year and 5 months after I divorce my husband of 22 years. We all go through some kind of suffering and tribulation, and our lives don’t go the way we plan, but lets use our experiences to help others, to comfort them, to let them know that God has shown His wonderful mercy on us and our sorrows and has lift us up. God bless you all.



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Louise

posted March 29, 2011 at 2:33 pm


For Teresa

We all have regrets when we lose a loved one. As I wrote previously I lost my sister Rachel four years ago, Niece Piper Christmas 09, My sister Kitty in Jan 2011 and my mom February 2011. You mentioned that you argued with your sister prior to her death. That arguement was one moment out of a lifetime of loving each other. Your sister would not want you to grieve so hard for her. If you had passed instead of her, would you wish her to have this much pain? She loved you and you loved her. You are not crazy. Just overwhelmed by pain and loss. Don’t be ashamed. You are an incredible person that has been dealt a horrible blow but you are strong and must have a belief in God or you would not be on this site. Dont get me wrong, I too are struggling with life and my losses. But I have to believe that I am were God wants me to be. I have to believe that I will get through my tribulations. For without that belief, I would be nothing. And I know in my heart Teresa you are a fighter too. Remember that “I can do everything through Christ who gives me strenght” Philipians 4:13

Know that you have touched my life and that I will add you to my prayers.



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Anonymous 2

posted March 29, 2011 at 2:43 pm


I lost the love of my life almost 2 years ago. Not a day goes by without me thinking of him (my beloved husband). We had 26 great years together and a beautiful daughter. She was 7 when he passed and she continues to talk about her dad. God knows he spent every moment he could with her for she was the love of his life and he was a great father and husband. I am not angry with God for taking him away from us because I know God had extended his life several times for a reason. Although it was unexpectedly and all of a sudden and even though he battled diabetes and heart problems, we were just not ready to see him go. Knowing he doesn’t have to take all of those pills no more gives me a little comfort but we just miss him so much. God has given me the strength to make it everyday and has blessed me in more ways than one. It is still hard sometimes and God knows I have my moments but I thank God everyday for him giving me the strength and bringing people into our lives for a purpose.



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Nathalyn

posted March 29, 2011 at 4:20 pm


@ Allyssa – I went through a very similar situation with my son and daughter-in-law in December 2008. We were expecting a bouncing baby boy in February 2009, however, he passed away in the womb as a result of a blood clot in the placenta. I, like you, could not imagine anything worse. Then my son and daughter-in-law were expecting a bouncing baby girl the summer of 2110, but even that was not to be. In May of 2010, my son and daughter-in-law, who was 7 months pregnant, were hit head on by a car traveling in the wrong direction. My daughter in law, along with the baby, died instantly. My son survived and had to have major reconstruction on his foot and ankle. He is slowly getting better, because of God’s grace and mercy. As a matter of fact, today is his 30th birthday. Please pray that our family continues to get stronger and that God’s goodness, grace, and mercy sustains us.



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peanut

posted March 29, 2011 at 7:01 pm


Thank you so much for your post I appreciate you taking the time to reply to my post I’m sorry to hear about all the mental issues that your now ex wife went through I’m a paramedic so I’m familar with those situations more than I know that things happen for a reason I will deal with pain I know it will take time and that make me angry but it will happen one day you and I will peace I’m trying to learn to live again but you have inspired me more than you know I will also have you in my prayers as well thank you so much again with much aprreciation and releif that you have provided me thank you again

Peanut



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usama

posted March 30, 2011 at 5:57 am


Despite my great anguish and deep grief for the sad demise of my beloved sweetheart and dearest Soule ever dwelled in my heart, I am still so much confident that Allah The Most Merciful will be with me to soothe my feelings, support my volition, back up my heart, and strengthen my power to raise my kids and hopefully, to reward me for being patient and obedient to accept His will.
For me, missing my ever- cherished wife the late is simply like tearing my soul a part, but when it comes to Allah’s will, I have to willingly, pleasantly and submissively accept His choice and obey His order. He is the Creator and we are all His slaves and we all belong to Him and to Him we shall return.
Being a straight Muslim and a devout person who has always had full faith & trust in Allah’s absolute justice, supreme wisdom, and comprehensive knowledge and, above all, in His complete mercy, this had indeed, relieved my worries and lessened my sorrow, fears and sadness. I firmly believe that when a good person dies, his soul will rest in peace and will directly reside in paradise. My late wife was a real example of same by the will of Allah.
During our past 7 years of blessed marriage, she was doing everything possible to make us happy. She was everything to me; she was very kind to others, close to her God, cordial with her neighbors, always trying to give, not to take. She was a great wife and a great mother. She died in a most purified manner that every one ever dreams of. In the time of the accident, she was fasting Ramadan and clear from sins as she had just finished making her Omrah. I sincerely and humbly pray to my Lord to accept her soul and to rejoin our souls again in paradise.
In a nutshell, I am now sad but happy, weak but strong, broken but healthy, helpless but confident, and I shall keep the big smile on as long as I have this great God whom I seek His protection and continuous support…
I have lately tasted the true taste of faith and happiness. I pray for Allah who knows our conditions to rest the soul of my late wife in happiness and pleasure, to support us, to guide us all to the right path and to protect our kids. Amen



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Your Name

posted March 30, 2011 at 6:54 am


I lost my mother and sister within 2 months.That was 3 years ago and it is still a difficult road
for me-but whatever life throws at me I can handle because they were both strong principled
women and I feel their guidance and love propelling me through every day.The soul lives on
and becomes a spirit guide in our lives



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Terri Cox

posted March 30, 2011 at 10:48 am


there is sunshine after the rain. My mother died in august 1987; my father was driving back from Texas after attending the funeral of his own mother; he arrived in my Mothers hospital room at 5:20pm; she was already in a coma and died at 6:11pm; less than an hour later; six weeks later we found out I was pregnant and my daughter was born in May nearly nine months to the day my Mother died. She is now a lovely young woman who has had her own goliaths to face. In the fall of 2009 while studying in winchester, england she was hospitalized and it was determined that she had a congenital hole in her heart. this past September she had the repair surgery which was successful; but when she came out of the surgery they could not get her heart rate to maintain a normal rate; so she now has a pacemaker; God is good, however and Rose is now back at college and works a parttime job; hopes to graduate this December. I miss my Mother every day and it breaks my heart that she didnt get to see her granddaughters; but I now know that god chose her to be my children’s guardian angel



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JimB

posted March 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm


For Billie Joe who is pleading for help, but cannot afford professional care. Please check out Catholic Charities in your area; they have counseling services on a sliding scale, and free if you have limited income. You have such a burden of sorrow, and I empathize with you. One thing you can do is your Bible readings, especially during this time of Lent. Christ, the Son of God, suffered so much and was murdered after being terribly tortured by the Romans at the request of his own Jewish rabbis. I went through a horrible divorce last year, after 15 years with someone I really loved, and felt just devastated and depressed. My own Pastor refused to meet and talk through our situation. I am on the road to recovery now, after 1-1/2 years of prayer, counseling, reading and talking to supportive family and friends. One book that I would highly recommend to anyone suffering grief or loss is “Making Loss Matter” by Rabbi David Wolpe. It is filled with wisdom and support material to help you through this period of anxiety. God bless you and all those who have suffered the loss of a loved one.



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linda

posted April 4, 2011 at 10:04 pm


I have read alot of these posts and have cryed about all that have been in this type of pain,I know mine is not like eveyone’s but, the pain and feelings of death and the knowing that you have ended a life is almost unbearable, the life I had to end was my best friend, my child, my companion of 18 yrs, his name was wiggy and he was my little love, everywhere I went he went, even in the middle of the nite when I was up hurting because of my illness he, was the one standing with me and being with me in my time of need, so when he was very ill and the dr said that there were no options left but, putting him down,I had to kill my little laso opso dog to save him from a painful death, I had to watch them inject him, and I held him in my arms until he died,I tried to keep him from not know what was happening but, now that I have gone over everthing in my minds eye he knew along and thats what really hurts know he knew he was going to die I really didnt get to say good bye, and thats what really hurts, but I did the right thing killing him I saved him all that pain, and now that I look back on everything that was going on he did say good bye to me by kissing me on the face and arm before dying and I didnt see it because of the grief and pain I was in at the time so now I know its how we die and the people we want there and the quality of our death, he never looked at anyone else but me after the injection, he died vey quietly in my arms. god bless everyone and pray for me,



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allyssa

posted April 5, 2011 at 3:27 pm


nathalyn….thank you for your response to my post…my daughter and i are getting through everday slowly…we only have eachother and i have one other daughter…it’s hard somedays to get up and go to work knowing that my beautiful grandaughter will never see us or know how much she is loved…if there is a GOD…please let him be taking care of my grandbaby better than we would have



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Phyllis

posted April 8, 2011 at 11:02 pm


Thanks everyone for your comments. I am currently separated from my husband not through my will though. Your comments have helped alot and I know Jesus is with me. That hope helps me get through each day. Peach and love to all ouf you.



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Robin

posted May 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm


My heartfelt sympathy to all of those posting and those who have just read without the need to post your own losses. Grief is a terrible thing, but it is also a part of life. I’ve lost two sisters and numberous other family members and friends. The loss of my little sister hit me the hardest since she was my best friend, my soul-mate. But, what I have learned is that when we are in the midst of our darkest days, we can choose to sit in the dark…or we can choose to light a candle. Lighting a candle doesn’t diminish the pain of hardships or the grief of loss, but it does allow us to see that our lives, no matter how hard, are worth living in the light. I’ve chosen to embrace the lives that my loved ones lived and being grateful that I had the chance to love them, instead of mourning their loss. I’ve chosen to not be a victim to being molested as a child instead of allowing my predator to have any further control over my life. Although my life is not perfect and there are often days where I have to light a roomful of candles, I choose to light them and live my life in the light. Call it lighting a candle, but in my heart, I know that it is about having hope and finding joy in life no matter what.



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penny

posted June 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm


I lost my daughther in 2008 to complication from influenza. she went to the hospital on monday they sent her home told her to take tylenol, thenat 3am on wednesday she went back with a very high fever, and a hard time brathing. They hooked her up to life support aftr oxtgen wasn’t helping. She was 25 and had bi-polar and some other health problems. The hospital didn’t contact me till 10 am wednesday, although I didn’t get the message till noon as I was sleeping after working the midnight shift. I called them back they said we just want you to know your daughter is in ICU on life support I sait WHAT. What happen they said we can’t tell you over the phone we don’t know you are really her momo. I said I’d be there shortly. I called a couple people on my way to the hospital. We got there and waited for the doc to come out it was about 15 min. he explained what they were doing for her then he paused and said oh she has been gone for about a half hour would like to go see her? I was extremely upset and refuse to go to the hospital for anything as I am scared they won’t give my good care or any of my family members, How can you forgive someone for the way this turned out.



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Vicki

posted June 10, 2011 at 3:57 pm


I lost my daughter in October of 2006 she was 52 years old,she fell down a flight of stairs. On March 2006 my husband had a stroke. In June 2007 my ex passed away with lung cancer. In April I lost my mother.
Now I am taking care of my husband. I am very depressed. Is there anyone out there that can help me???



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Janet

posted August 27, 2011 at 7:25 pm


I loved your article! I was in the hospital and rehab for 3 months earlier this year. I almost died 2 times. The condition I originally went into the hospital was not a life threatening one, but due to the medications I had to be on, they damaged my body. The most scary part was when the surgeon came in and told me that if I did not have surgery that day, I would die. There was no time for a second opinion. Within five minutes of not knowing this, I was rushed to surgery. This experience has really been tough to heal from spiritually and emotionally. I’ve been very angry. I do know that the Lord was with me, but I just didn’t understand why I had to have this experience.



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Mary

posted September 13, 2011 at 10:01 am


I lost my husband in a car accident just before last Christmas. I have 3 kids at home still, and one grown with several grandkids. I have picked up and moved on, but only with the help of God, and wonderful friends and family. One way anyone can get through such a horrible thing, if you have a significant other/husband/wife, you need to talk about how to move on if it does happen. We are not going to live forever, and we all know that. I think because we did discuss this, that myself and our children/grandchildren have been able to move on easier. Yes it hurts and we all have days that are not good, but we also know that my husband/dad/papa is okay and in a better place for him. We want everyone to be happy, and that is what keeps us happy. Have a wonderful and blessed day.



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