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Guest Blog by Dr. Michael Finkelstein

 

Al and Tipper Gore may make it look easy to keep your composure while going through a divorce.  It’s not.  However, when couples decide to dissolve a marriage, there are ways to skillfully keep your head above water while the marriage breaks apart.

 

-Accept that relationships change – Instead of being apprehensive of the natural changes and evolution in our relationships, we should accept them – even if they’re relatively major changes like divorce.

-Find a way to deal with the anger you are likely to experience – Lingering anger will be a cancer in your system and it is best to let them go.

-Prioritize your personal evolution –  View this time between relationships as an opportunity for maturation, growth and reconnection with your true identity.

-Be accepting of uncertainty – Reorganization, even when necessary and desirable, often creates instability.
           
-Let go of material fears – Will your financial and material goals really bring lasting satisfaction or ease discomfort in a meaningful way?

-Find solace in your community – During this transitional period, it’s ok to lean on your friends. Don’t let yourself isolate; instead, build up a solid support community, whether it’s a social group, religious organization, club or nearby extended family. 

-Be mindful of the new dynamics of your relationship – No matter what transpires during a divorce, skillful parents find a way to successfully maintain a partnership in the business of parenting.

Prior to developing the concept of Skillful Living, Dr. Finkelstein was the Medical Director of Northern Westchester Hospital in Bedford NY and the Assistant Director to the Department of Medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC.

Read more about divorce and healing on Beliefnet

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