Idol Chatter

Idol Chatter


Mo’Nique’s Hairy Legs and ‘Open’ Marriage

posted by Douglas Howe

One of the most underwhelming Oscar shows of all-time sure stood in contrast to perhaps the most significant–if, indeed, the last–of the Barbara Walters Specials. I was on the West Coast so I watched it after the Oscars and, yikes, did I see first hand how much times have changed since she first launched her show in 1981!
In her opening interview, Barbara interviewed Mo’Nique, the Best Supporting Actress winner, who seemed a delightful and strong woman who’d overcome several of life’s challenges to accomplish a state of fame and stardom. Her communication style was fiery and fun.
And then it came time to talk about her marriage, her third, which apparently is strong, trusting and…”open.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Here was a major star bragging about her hairy legs and the freedom in her marriage to have multiple partners. I wasn’t sure what got my attention more: the fact of her revelation, or the fact that Ms. Walters didn’t seem to pursue it or delve deeper. There was no gasp, or “aha,” or “are you kidding me?!”
Imagine if Loretta Lynn (or Brooke Shields?) had come on the ’81 show and discussed such things? Or Barbara Mandrell on the ’85 show? Or Candace Bergen or Sophia Loren or Michelle Pfeiffer?
“Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me…yes…that’s not a deal-breaker,” she told Ms. Walter. “That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage.’”


Barbara did ask her about frequency. “What if it’s 20 times?” proclaimed Mo’Nique. “So what? We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don’t know who they’re laying next to. I’m very comfortable and secure with my husband.”
“He loves the hairy legs,” she added, “and if Sid likes the hairy legs, there you go…”I’m 42 and I’m very hairy.” (See further interview quotes here.)
After the Oscar parties died down and the buzz started making it through Hollywood, several stars began chiming in with comments of their own, and I couldn’t tell if this was sublime or ridiculous:
From Best Actress nominee Gabourey Sidibe on “Access Hollywood”: “It’s not really news to have an open marriage and open communication marriage.
“The View’s” Sherri Shepherd added “Apparently, you don’t know why I got divorced.”
Several articles discussed the apparent one-way-ness to her Open marriage, as she went out of her way to describe her own fidelity in her marriage, including this thought from Denise Ngo:
“It seems enlightened, but let’s be honest: is it really possible for one partner to be out sexually gallivanting while the other remains blissfully monogamous? And does it not in some way seem like Mo’Nique has traded the comfort of her hairy legs for her husband’s fidelity?”
Well, we’re not in Kansas anymore, and we’re certainly a long way from 1981. What’s left is the important question: have we moved forward or backwards?



  • Albatross

    The distinction between what society has now – serial monogamy and/or monogamy with illicit affairs – and what Mo’Nique is suggesting – serial monogamy with non-illicit affairs – seems rather slim. And the difference in Mo’Nique’s relationship, the ‘delta’ between society and her relationship, is that her relationship has more honesty in it.
    Indeed, showing one’s spouse that they are free to have sex with other people may go a long way towards taking a lot of the energy out of the temptation. How many people’s affairs are spiced with shame and fear and the exhilaration of being caught?
    When you’re young and facing the future, monogamy is a promise that someone will always be with you. When you’re older and you know your partner, an open relationship can be an expression of trust.
    And then there’s the fact that if my spouse offered me an open marriage it would be a nice gesture, but wouldn’t really matter. Who would I want beside her? And who of those people I might want would have any interest in me? It was hard enough finding a life-partner, it hardly seems likely I’d find a lover on the side as well. And if I did, what would I do with her? I’m very busy! I don’t have time for dating! That’s one thing I always wonder about people who DO have affairs: where do they find the time and energy?
    Good for you Mo’Nique!

  • Dee

    Very well said, Albatross!

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    We come across and “with it”, sophisticated and enlightened but it is the old SIN NATURE that came upon mankind when Adam decided to disobey God. Many nations have been obliterated from society because of this very thing. Sodom and Gommorah was destroyed because God could not find repentance, faith and Godliness in that land so now we who think we are doing a new thing are setting ourselves up for a terrible fall. I pray daily that God would help us see the error of our ways and turn back to Him as a nation. He won’t force us because He gave us the will to choose but He did say in His word “choose life” and now even that is being argued against. To live to please your creator is life and life giving and purposeful. To choose to do things our own way always ends up with horrible regrets Eternally so!

  • Your Name

    I really don’t see anything wrong with hairy legs and it should’nt be such a big deal. Only in the past few years Black Women have began to shave/wax their legs. I can see waxing or getting rid of lip hair, beard hair on women, and most definitely under arm hair (nasty), because that looks masculine. Now-a-days, young women are waxing everything all over their bodies. I don’t think this is healthy. As far as the “open marriage”, I’m totally against it. I believe if you make a commitment before God, it should be honored. If a person doesn’t want to be committed to one person, then they should stay single.

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    The most sincere “I love YOUs” and special passion that a “committed” couple can have become muted when one of the lovers has sex with another person. Take a look at what Tiger Woods is going through. How would you explain to his wife that getting a little once in a while when it’s convenient should be ok for him? Even Tiger seems to understand that what he did was a no-no. I have betrayed a special bond and I have had it happen to me, and I know that in both of these kinds of experiences the relationship is never again as special or as intimate because there are walls built and/ or secrets that neither party can forget. Even if it is an “open” screwing around, you’re going to have something special with someone outside the relationship that you don’t really want to talk about with your love. I think Monique knows that way down deep inside, and that’s why she’s not screwing around. This dude is with a rich celebrity who’s made it, so he’s not going to leave her for a “hotter” babe. She’s being used by a player who doesn’t really respect her.

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