A few weeks ago fellow blogger Ellen wrote a brilliant , poetic “Dear Jon” letter to Jon Gosselin informing him of her thoughts on his recent shenanigans and self-promotion. So with the return of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” last Monday on TLC-where we were treated to life with the Gosselins in their post-break up world- I thought I would take my turn and give my final- and I do mean final- advice to Kate Gosselin. Yes, I am aware she hasn’t exactly asked for it.
I admit I have never been your biggest fan or even a faithful follower of you and your family over the years. Still, I have never been one of those naysayers who have made fun of your plastic surgery or your haircut, either. I also realize you were perhaps not exactly married to Prince Charming, but rather you were married to Peter Pan instead. I don’t even believe those rumors he’s mudslinging about how you quit the marriage first and he was the one who wanted counseling. But as you move forward into the single parent life with your new “can do” attitude, let me make a few helpful suggestions.
First of all, you don’t need to do any more remodeling. I know – surprise- some company wanted product placement, but it just makes you look greedier than you already do .You’ve lived in this new mansion of yours for something like a year or two? You didn’t need to redo an entire kitchen to invent an excuse to get away from Jon and go on yet another trip with the kids.
I am, however, glad to read you might bereconsidering the condo you purchased right down the street from your bodyguard. You know, the one you said you were absolutely not having an affair with. Perhaps not the best idea if you are really trying to portray yourself as taking the higher road in this divorce. Remember, in real estate, it’s all about location, location, location.
Finally, if you are truly interested in doing what is best for your kids, don’t make them your new co-hosts. I winced when I watched Monday night’s episodes with your children being perched on a couch for a quick interview and I flinched when they were talking to the cameras to help narrate the show. As you have so wisely pointed out, the kids did not ask for this divorce. I wonder, did they really ask for this new, expanded role on the TV show?
I know all of this advice seems a little harsh, Kate, but it’s only because I have a feeling that many in America are going to join me in a vow to stop watching your show, you know, for the sake of the kids.