Once upon a time, I sympathized with you, cringed with you as Kate commanded your every movement (to the point of telling you not to breathe so loudly) and browbeat your every decision. With reports of Kate off on extended book tours while you tended to the brood, it looked as if things remained status quo, but then came the nagging rumors of an impending separation. When the confirmation came, I expected you to do what you had always done, continue with the lovably-schlubby, laid-back caring father routine to which we had all become accustomed.
Sure, you spoke of new-found freedom and had two brand new hard-not-to-notice diamond studs in your ears, but I didn’t expect you to be traipsing around Saint-Tropez with your new girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, the daughter of the plastic surgeon who performed Kate’s tummy tuck, mere weeks after splitting with Kate. OK, so you’ve moved on, and perhaps you’ve been moved on for a while as all the tabloids have been reporting, but maybe you could keep it under wraps for a bit. Ya know, for the kids.
And now, after many protestations of wanting to reclaim some privacy, you sign a deal with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier to create your own line of children’s clothing. The kids are signed on to model, natch. I had noticed you sporting M. Audigier’s bombastic, Hollywood scenester-wear in recent episodes and in the pics in the magazines, but I simply put it down to dirty laundry and lots of free swag, not some cliche post-divorce player awakening. (By the way, I think Ed Hardy has officially jumped the shark with this move.)
Had you still been the washed out polo shirt wearing dad that I remember, I might have entertained the purchase of say some Jon Garanimals. But over-priced, vintage-y, kids t-shirts designed by a former IT worker? I think I’d rather buy Kate’s book.
Remember when it seemed Kevin Federline was the reasonable parent, the sympathetic caretaker of Sean Preston and Jayden James, compared to Britney. Now remember how he quickly blew that image? I’m getting that same feeling with you, Jon.
A Former Fan