There is an interesting article over at Salon about how in 2007 the toxic relationship between the media, celebrities, and the average consumer has hit new levels of lunacy. Well, I certainly can’t argue with that. And while some of my fellow Beliefnet writers have already posted their thoughts on what some stars could do in 2008 to be a little less toxic and a little more mentally and emotionally stable, I am trying a slightly different approach in discussing potential New Year’s resolutions, by making a few New Year’s resolution suggestions for some of my favorite celebs, but tying them to my own resolutions. After all, it’s not fair to ask others to change if I am not willing to change my own bad habits or help these celebs out in some way, right?
Here are my New Year’s resolution suggestions for some of our more notorious celebrities:
4. I resolve to walk more and use my car less, if all of you celebrities (the list is too long to memorize, but you know who you are) will resolve to use part of your seven-figure salary to hire a limo driver/pay a taxi cab when you go out clubbing/shopping/stalking your former personal assistant. It would be a win/win situation for all of us. You won’t get arrested, I won’t have to read or write about your drunken antics and websites like TMZ might have to go out of business.
3. If I resolve to give up eating bread once in a while in 2008, then, hey, Paris, Nicole, etc., maybe you could make a resolution to actually eat bread once in a while. Make sure the paparazzi are there to witness this event, so it will look like you’re doing a PSA for teen girls everywhere who will never be a size 0.
2. As a licensed educational professional, I resolve in 2008 to teach “The View” co-host Sherri Shepherd a course in both history and geography, if Sherri – and I am really a huge fan – will resolve to do her homework for me every single night so she won’t have any more “the earth is flat” gaffes on national television.
1. Last but not least, I resolve to not write anything snarky about the following celebs for the coming year, no matter how much Idol Chatter readers beg me to: Michael Moore, Kathy Griffin, and anyone on American Idol…as long as they don’t do or say anything that will make my blood pressure skyrocket. (Oh, who are we kidding? That’s so not going to happen.)
Happy New Year to all!