In Dante’s “Divine Comedy,” the soul of Paris, the mythological King of Troy, is battered eternally by gale-force winds for partaking in the sin of lust. And, while one could draw a comparison to Paris Hilton’s in-and-out incarcerations, it seems more analogous to our experience, dear readers: We are constantly blown about by the hot air coming forth from Paris herself.
The Associated Press (via CNN) reported yesterday that Hilton opened up to pre-Oprah confessor Barbara Walters during her brief stint under house arrest, saying that jail time has changed her and that she “would like to make a difference. … God has given me this new chance.”

But apparently jail time hasn’t changed her that much, she still has a love of the spotlight. The AP goes on to report that Hilton’s mother, Kathy, was speaking with Walters by phone when Paris beeped in on the other line, found out with whom her mother was speaking, and asked to have a conversation with Walters.
Was the first part of her prison experience traumatic for Hilton? Without a doubt. It would be for anyone, much less a privileged socialite. But three days in jail doesn’t seem enough time to illicit a jail-time conversion. Heck, Malcom X had already done a three-year stint in jail and was serving another 8-10 year sentence when he joined the Nation of Islam. (Maybe Hilton’s removal of her ever-present blue contact lenses is akin to the blinding conversion Saul/Paul experienced on the road to Damascus?)

Unlike many people, I don’t take glee in her assignment and reassignment–who knows how severe her “medical emergency” was? But the fact is that the decisions to release and reincarcerate the sometime-actress were made by outside forces. And while her extravagant, entitled lifestyle and “dumb blonde” attitude would suggest a lack of a deep spiritual life, I’m willing to give Hilton the benefit of the doubt that she does think of things greater than herself. She was (for what it’s worth), at one time spotted attending the Kabbalah Center and sporting a red yarn bracelet.

While it is not known if Paris still feels that God has given her a second chance, now that she has been sent back to the big house, I hope that she does try and make a difference when she’s finally out. And it doesn’t have to be dramatic–like curing cancer, solving world hunger, saving puppies from burning buildings, or leading a PETA campaign for chicken’s rights. I hope Paris lays low, lives a truly simple life and takes stock for a while–allowing us, dear readers, to batten down the hatches in preparation for the next celebutante’s incarceration/rehabilitation.