Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

There are resounding themes people will rely on to explain why they choose to remain in a bad marriage.

And they sound like really, really good reasons.

After all, we have as a society relied on these marital excuses for decades.

Who are we to fight convention?

However, there is a growing awareness of many of these historical myths. 

pexels-photo-226166

3 Reasons Not to Stay in a Bad Marriage:

1.  What Will This Person Do Without Us?

How can we leave this person? They are already in such a bad way (affairs, drinking, gambling, etc.) how will they function without us?

We convince ourselves these individuals truly need us. 

And they do not.

We are not as special as we think. A person capable of repeatedly bad behavior simply needs another enabler in their life to take our spot. 

Somehow, we refuse to believe this.

We convince ourselves these are not selfish actions but they are. Every single person is responsible for their own behavior. We can’t make another human being choose to get healthy or get help. Only they can decide when they are ready to make a change in their lifestyle.

In a healthy relationship, a person would never stand by and allow their own pain and actions to hurt another person to the point of using them up.

This type of person won’t likely change while with you. There is no reason to. The system is working for enabling their habits.

 

2. We Need To Stay For The Kids.

There’s no doubt about it – divorce is not a positive experience for children.

However, children go out into the world and duplicate the relationship they see between their parents.

Nothing is black and white so some do have the insight to try and avoid parental mistakes while many others have no idea how to. The past simply repeats itself.

We foolishly believe two parents together even if a bad example is being set is somehow better. 

 

3. We Have Already Stayed This Long Why Leave?

 

The longer we stay the less likely we will leave.

Why would we start over after all these years?

It will be so much harder now. Where will we live? How will we make it? What about retirement? How can we afford to split all the assets?

The more frightening question is…How can we afford to stay?

How can our emotional and physical health withstand long-term stress, unhappiness, and strain?

Life is short. 

It should not be a compromise.

Every single human being deserves to celebrate who they are and find true happiness.

 

These are three of the biggest reasons people convince themselves to stay in unhappy marriages. 

It’s self-compromising. 

A deal of rationalization to justify long-term unhappiness. Imperfection is a normal part of relationships; therefore, I must remain.

On the contrary, ordinary imperfection does not require one to sacrifice themselves but rather learn and grow and become better people….

Together.

 

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)

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