Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

Healthy relationships involve two strong individuals.

One person should not allow themselves to become permanently weaker than the other. It creates an imbalance and a loss of control in one’s life.

Life is a journey of ups and downs and highs and lows. There will inevitably be weak periods in any individual’s life. That is why it is so critical to be in emotionally healthy relationships that keep one otherwise strong, happy, loved, and prepared to meet those valleys if and when they arise.

Here are 5 reasons individuals become weak in a relationship:

1. Giving Your Power Away – Being in a relationship does not mean giving your power away to another individual. If a person is a narcissist, controller, abusive, abusing alcohol or any other type of unhealthy and destructive behavior it is important to realize that if they do not want help, you will probably not be able to help them. People need to help themselves or ask for help. The longer one stays in a relationship with someone who is exhibiting unhealthy behavior, the unhealthier that person will become. It will also make one weaker and the strength to get out of a bad situation will become more than heavy lifting.

2. Being Overly Responsible for Another Person – Being overly responsible for another person means that one is neglecting themselves. The more a person overcompensates to rescue and save their significant other, the weaker that they become. All of the attention is being placed on the person who is not responsible for themselves. Thus, leaving little time to invest the proper time and energy into being self-responsible enough to stay strong.

3. Becoming Financially Dependent – Unfortunately, joint decisions to quit a job to move to another area, stay home with children, etc. can leave a person in a powerless position in a relationship. If and when these decisions are made there should be protective measures put in place to ensure that becoming financially independent doesn’t lead to one spouse mistreating or undervaluing the other spouse’s life or relationship importance. A bank account should be set up to maintain some type of independence and other financially securing measures. Perhaps when staying home with children an account with a regular paycheck is established since it is a real job. Society recognizes this as someone a babysitter or nanny would typically need to be paid.

4. Not Having Boundaries – A lack of boundaries will allow a selfish or self-involved spouse to take advantage of the other spouse. If an individual does not say ‘no’ occasionally or request balance in areas of the relationship they will wear themselves out. The selfless spouse with a lack of boundaries will become weak and frustrated. They will feel taken advantage of.

5. Being Extreme – Extremes are never good as they often lend themselves towards attracting other extremes. An individual should be self-aware and recognize their own tendencies, whatever they may be. Perhaps they help everyone and everyone, enable and make excuses for too much bad behavior, are so easy going that they allow themselves to be too controlled. It’s important to identify the extreme parts of one’s own personality so that they don’t get mistreated by allowing it to get too far out of control. A happy go lucky person who is always willing to make others happy will eventually at some point feel powerless when their spouse does not care about their own happiness. It will make them weak from giving too much of themselves away while asking for little in return.

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