Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

There are plenty of controlling personalities that appear confident. They can be outgoing, take charge, competent, get the job done kind of people. However, the very nature of being controlling is a contradiction to absolute confidence.

There may be confidence, but not authentic, full confidence.

Why?

Individuals who need to be in control can be condescending, argumentative, impatient, and demanding.

They may make the person they are controlling feel insecure, stressed, belittled and bad about themselves.

Hence, Confidence and Control are a complete contradiction to one another.

Controlling people…

Need others to be like them.
Need others to agree with their opinions and beliefs.
Need others to live life the way they do.
Need others to do what they want them to do.

They are threatened by differences.
They are threatened by people not doing what they want them to do.

Confident people…

Do not need others to be like them.
Do not need others to agree with their opinions and beliefs.
Do not need others to live life the way they do.
Do not need others to do what they want them to.

They are not threatened by differences.
They are not threatened by people not doing what they want them to do.

What person has the right to tell another person how they should think, what should make them happy, or how they should live their lives? It’s arrogance. Yet, individuals allow themselves to be controlled every day.

The paradigm needs to shift.

People who are being controlled, need to realize arrogance is not confidence and no one has the right to control them.

People who are controlling, need to realize that they can turn that base confidence into a fully authentic confidence by letting go. The result will be a liberated and elevated confidence. They will realize it is not as scary as they previously thought to allow people to be who they are. They will no longer feel the need to make another person feel bad about themselves in order to maintain the false safety of being in charge of the relationship.

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