Homeshuling

Homeshuling


Blessing your tween

posted by Homeshuling

My older daughter, Ella, only recently turned eight, but she’s already showing signs of tweendom. She’s always been a very affectionate and sweet kid, and while she’s still like that about 80% of the time, she’s also become increasingly self-conscious and moody. I’m doing my best to give her space when she needs it, and am steeling myself for the years ahead.

This past Friday night, we celebrated shabbat on the Delaware shore. Friends of my mother’s who were staying in the condo next door came for dinner with their two sons, ages 14 and 8. My girls and their boys had managed to play beautifully, despite the differences in age and gender, and Ella and the older son had worked for two days straight on a VERY DEEP HOLE.

Typically, when we light candles, Ella comes up and snuggles with me while my eyes are covered. This week, she disappeared into the living room. “Give her space,” I reminded myself. “Don’t start shabbat with a lecture.”

When it came time for the girls’ blessing, Zoe, my six year old, ran right into my arms. “What are you proud of me for this week?”

As I approached Ella she hissed “Don’t touch me.”

“Ella,” I anwered, as calmly as I could, “I want to give you your blessing.” I reached over to whisper in her ear.

“DON’T TOUCH ME.”

“Ella,” I replied, softly, but  not quite as calmly. “you’re embarassing me.” (You can imagine how effective that line of argument was.)

She walked off. Everyone else politely pretended not to notice. We ate dinner. Of course, by bedtime, Ella was cuddled in my lap asking me to read her a story. Because she is, after all, eight. I took advantage of the moment to say, “Ella, I am still going to want to bless you when you are 10, 20 and even when you are 43. It’s important to me. It doesn’t mean you are a baby. OK?”

“OK.” she nodded, while stroking her lovey’s tattered ear.

And I thought sleep training was hard…..

God, please grant me the strength to parent two teenage girls.

a simpler time



Advertisement
Comments read comments(2)
post a comment
Leah Weiss Carusol

posted August 1, 2011 at 9:58 am


oooo tough. you’ll be great though, if this is any indication! you’re girls are lucky to have you as their momma.



report abuse
 

jill

posted August 1, 2011 at 6:08 pm


it’s *very* hard when you can’t ever win. the bra i wear in public is solely to appease my children. imo, your #2 kid is going to be a challenge as well.



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

More blogs to enjoy!!!
Thank you for visiting Homeshuling . This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here are some other blogs you may also enjoy: Truths You Can Use Inspiration Report Happy Reading!!!

posted 9:57:03am Jul. 06, 2012 | read full post »

Teaching the Four Questions to young children
One of the greatest privileges of being a kindergarten teacher in a Jewish day school is having the opportunity to teach children to recite the four questions. Unlike almost anything else I teach them about Jewish ritual, this is "real work." The candles will get blessed, kiddush will be recited, an

posted 7:36:03am Apr. 01, 2012 | read full post »

Guess what's Kosher for Passover (this will change your life.)
I'm not exaggerating. The bane of my Passover existence has been pareve baking. I cook a lot more meat during the holiday than I do the rest of the year, which means a lot more pareve desserts. Which has, up until now, usually meant margarine made from disgusting ingredients such as cottonseed oi

posted 5:02:27pm Mar. 22, 2012 | read full post »

Why I love the New American Haggadah (and it's not just because I got to have a martini with Nathan Englander.)
I'm not a haggadah junkie. I know many Jews whose shelves are overflowing with numerous versions of the Haggadah - from the traditional Maxwell House to the not-so-traditional Santa Cruz - and whose seders are an amalgam of commentaries, poems, and (alas) responsive readings, from these dog-eared, p

posted 9:25:37pm Mar. 14, 2012 | read full post »

Best Hamentashen Ever, even better. And, a Purim opera.
This time of year, I'm always excited when I look at my google analytics and see that people have landed at my blog by searching for "hamentashen recipe". I love the idea of people all over the world making my great-grandmother's fabulous hamentashen, the same ones my mom made with me and that I mak

posted 7:13:38pm Mar. 05, 2012 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.